My child was diagnosed ADHD in the summer between K and 1st gr.; began taking Ritalin in late 1st grade and continued through 6th grade and switched to concerta through middle school. Grades were fantastic, social life seemed to be impaired but for the most part I think he was happy; 1 or 2 close friends. Fast forward to high school, taking Concerta which seemed to depress child and child stopped taking meds mid 9th grade. Social life is with a small group of friends but seemed happy for the most part; with the exception of a major breakup in 9th grade with childhood friend since kindergarten that still hurts to this day. Currently a junior, struggling with grades. Actually grades have continually dropped since medicine was discontinued in 9th. Seems that struggling with grades is getting worse; wants to drop an elective which I’m not crazy about dropping; never talks to parents, doesn’t want to listen when parents want to talk things out. When mom suggested maybe medicine would help with concentration and organization, he becomes very angry and accuses parents of wrongly medicating him with Ritalin and Concerta when he was just a child. It seems as if teenager thinks it’s his way or no way. I now think friendships are also struggling. Feel bad for teenager because I think he feels alone sometimes and hurts emotionally, have suggested getting help with phsych if he doesn’t want to talk with parents. He does have a best friend that he talks to quite a bit; very confidential. Very worried. Any ideas or thoughts on medicine, depression, seeking help? Doesn’t like school.
Re: teen is off add meds., won't take them, but probably should
Thank you for your reply. A lot of what you said is very helpful. I have suggested that he could speak with a psychologist. At this time he is not interested but that could change. We are going on the first college campus tour in a couple of weeks. He is beginning to stress about that. My son doesn’t drive yet, he is not pushing it, and neither are his parents, although it will happen soon as his best friend is getting his license soon.
Re: teen is off add meds., won't take them, but probably should
Recent studies have suggested that long-term use of stimulants can lead to depression in later years because of the changes to the brain amphetimines bring. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that after giving yourself a boost with stimulants for such a long time the removal of them would be a downer. Having the trauma of losing a close friend doesn’t help matters There are no quick fixes for this; strongly suggest you get your child to a competant psyche.
I will not tell you what to do about further medication, but were it my child I believe I would resist the pressure of placing him on mood enhancers now. Can you get him interested in something that will distract him from things (a girlfriend comes to mind, or perhaps a guitar)?
Good luck to you and please let us know how things progress.
Been there, done that. I don’t have any magic solutions, except to say that if you are concerned about depression, get this kid to a mental health professional NOW. My child was first diagnosed with depression at age 15 and then with ADHD. He was willing to accept treatment for depression (we did lexapro plus therapy) but was not able to accept the ADHD diagnosis and would not consider meds for ADHD. We didn’t force the issue, because we recognized the futility of that approach and the need to respect our son’s point of view about what he was willing to put into his body. The depression came under control pretty quick, which allowed us and his doctor to work with him on understanding what ADHD is and how it affects him. He remained adamantly opposed to meds for quite a long time and insisted that we were trying to change his personality, that meds were for cheaters, that the diagnosis was wrong, etc. When problems arose relative to his ADHD, we worked with him to understand that he was not lazy or stupid but that his brain was wired in a way that some things were more difficult for him. Slowly he came to accept the diagnosis and began to have some insight into how his ADHD was making some things hard for him. The final straw was when he had to write college applications and was so overwhelmed by what seemed to him an impossible task that he absolutely froze. I worked very closely with him to figure out how to get it all done, organizing things into very small, manageable chunks of work. When it was all over, he told me that he wanted to try ADHD meds because he saw that his ADHD had almost kept him from accomplishing something really important. He tried the meds, found they helped and now is taking them for school and for when he has to drive. So, there is hope, but it may take a lot of both managing and forbearance before you get there. Your son may never choose to medicate his ADHD, but, with your help and the help of a good counselor, he certainly can come to understand it better.