I have a teenage son with ADHD. His emotional outburts are getting more frequent. Is this just his hormones? How does this relate to his ADHD? Are there any suggestions for how to handle him without the entire family loosing their patience and their minds?
Re: teenage boy with adhd
In our case, the emotional bursts come in the form of arguing and wanting to pick a fight. In one of Dr. Daniel Amen’s books, he talks about this conflict-seeking behavior as just another way to stimulate the front part of the brain. It feels good to the person with ADHD to have the outburst and to engage in the conflict. He advises to NOT ENGAGE, i.e., not to provide reinforcement for the behavior. I’ve tried very hard to follow the advice of actually lowering my voice and making it more gentle in these moments. When I’m able to hold onto my patience and do that, the outburst passes much more quickly. The other day, I even said playfully to my 15-year old, “Oh please, don’t use me to stimulate your brain. I know that game, and I don’t want to play.” He got a sheepish look on his face and even laughed.
These adolescent years are trying times. I definitely saw the conflict-seeking behavior increase around age 13 or 14. I hear it usually lasts about 4 years. Good luck!
Teenagers can make families lose their patience and their minds. The teenage years are very difficult ones for teenagers and their families alike. ADHD can make it even harder.
I don’t think there’s an easy answer to your good question nor any quick fix. One of my own sons totaled two cars in his adolescence. Fortunately he was not hurt nor did he hurt others. His emotional outbursts made us all walk on eggshells. Tough love, soft love, no love - we tried it all. He had one outburst in the middle of a family wedding drowning out the vows the pastor was reading for the wedding couple…
Know that you’re not alone and that other families are going through this and some have even come out on the other side. My son at 18 has made great strides and my other son at 21 is calm and rational - at last.
Good luck to you and your family through the trying times that are the teenage years.