Can anyone give me some advice or maybe a hug?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

I have an 18 year old daughter who I have been homeschooling for 5 years. WHen I pulled her out of PS she was in the 9th grade (should’ve been 10th but she was held back in 3rd). The school was just pushing her through the grades. When I pulled her out she was learning (from my own outside testing sources) at a 2-3 grade level. All the PS did for her was teach her how to say “I can’t do this”. She has had that attitude ever since. She doesn’t even try it seems like anymore. She was being tutored 2x a week at Huntington Learning Center for the last year and has shown pretty much no improvement. To me it was a big, huge waste of money. She got fired from her second job yesterday and it seems like she really doesn’t even care about that. I am so scared for her future. She’s 18 and struggling at the 6th grade level. So has no ambition at all. No self esteem, no drive or desire. I am a single parent and her father is no help at all. Can anyone give me some advice. Someone who has been through this before? I only say that because it seems that everyone is full of answers and advice but these are people who have never walked in my daughter’s or my shoes so it’s kind of hard to hear from someone who really has no idea just how incredibly hard this is.

Submitted by Janis on Sat, 03/25/2006 - 7:11 PM

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Well, I can for sure give you a hug! {{{hug}}} :)

And I can empathize because I have a child with issues that has made it hard for him to stay in college or keep a job. He is not really LD but has a combination of symptoms from ADHD, anxiety disorder, etc. We sort of go along until we reach the next crisis, I am sorry to say.

I think you should seek a psychologist to evaluate and counsel your daughter. She probably needs to have her job aptitude and interests assessed as well as determining if she has issues such as depression, etc. that would affect motivation.

I am also sorry to say that most commercial learning centers are not at all appropriate for children with learning disabilities. I have tutored a child that attended one for a year, and he learned nothing there.

I wish I could encourage you more, but I haven’t found all the answers either. I hope you can find some help.

Submitted by Joan on Fri, 04/28/2006 - 4:15 PM

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Hi,

I’m new to this group was actually just plaining on reading through all the information before posting but I saw your post and just couldn’t wait.

Yes - here is another hug! HUG

When you’ve been through school and never been good at it, your image of yourself really suffers. It is no wonder that your daughter has this attitute.

The question is why is school so hard?
Have you ever done any neurodevelopmental testing?
I assume she has underlining core issues that block the learning process.
Here are two site that you could check out.
http://www.icando.org/
(They take all faiths - even if you don’t follow a faith!)

and
http://www.handle.org/

Both places have different locations. ICAN has reps that travel throughout the US.

I have been working with ICAN and my son is showing great improvements cognitively as I clear up his sensory issues.
I have a friend who took a course at Handle and is doing those exercises with her child. She is not per say a patient at Handle but has heard great things about Handle.

I would look for core problems - tracking issues, short term auditory and visual memory, laterality issues, etc.
These people would pinpoint core issues and give you exercises to change the brain so that she can learn much easier.

Joan

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