We had a bit of an unpleasant incident Friday that has highlighted my son’s difficulties with language. He has CAPD. Is it the cause of this misunderstanding? I wonder is there is anything we can do to help his ability to make inferences. Would speech therapy help? He gets it for other reasons. If so, what would you focus on?
We were in line at the local science and discovery center to go on this chair which you guided into “space” to this satellite. When it was his turn, my son removed the ribbon that was keeping the line back. He did not try to replace the ribbon, as he should have. The man in charge asked him if that is how he found the ribbon. My son said no. The man said, “well put it back”. My son then walked back to the other side of the ribbon to the front of the line. The man then said something to him that made it clear that wasn’t what he meant. My son walked out of the line again, only to be told again that wasn’t how he found the ribbon again. Again, my son walked back to the front of the line. The man then said, “don’t you understand English?.” At this point, I intervented and told the man he was being unkind. I told him that it was obvious that he didn’t understand what he wanted him to do. The man then snapped at me “I suppose you are his mother”. I said I was. I didn’t say more because I didn’t want to make a bad situation worse.
It was painfully clear to me and everyone else what the man wanted my son to do. I have to admit the whole incident ruined my visit, although my son thought the man was just “grumpy”. (Before the incident with my son, the man had rather impatiently gathered the five or six people waiting in line to explain what they were to do in a group. He said he didn’t want to have to explain it over and over.)
Re: difficulties making inference from speech
Thanks for suggesting that. I just called. I was going to speak to someone when I was there but it was impossible with three kids in tow. I didn’t want to say anything in front of my son. It turns out it was a volunteer who was working the station. Can’t imagine why…he didnt look like he was having a bit of fun, even before the “incident” with my son.
I was very constructive, which is more than I probably would have been last Friday.
Re: difficulties making inference from speech
People who work at science centers are sometimes volunteers and he may have been. Certainly his level of patience with people and children wasn’t professionally polished.
Your son reminds me of my son. My son was incapable of understanding figurative language or making inferences. He took language literally. When another child told him, “We’re going to kick your b—ts in soccer today”, my son put his hands over his bottom, cried, and refused to play. That offered me the understanding that I needed to talk with my son and try to explain the difference between what is said and what can be meant.
“Is that how you found it?” in our language really means “put it back” but my son like yours would never have known that.
Over many years, though, he slowly did learn that what is said is not always exactly what is meant. My son started to write down a list of common expressions that had “other” meanings so he could sort them through.
Re: difficulties making inference from speech
Although I am teaching a resource class now, my major is in speech and hearing. When I was doing my clinic work as a student, I worked with a student who had CAPD. As you know, things that come easily to us, don’t come easily to them. Mention something to your son’s speech therapist, if she doesn’t already know. She can help.
Good luck!
That “gentleman” sounds like a real jerk. It would be a service to the museum if you called to discuss how you and your son were treated. Dont’ forget to mention his attitude toward the group in front of you, either. This guy does not have a license to get personal the way he did, and someone in charge needs to be informed about his dealings with the public.
JJ