Well we just got back from my ADHD/LD daughter’s CSE meeting. She’s been going to a school for ADD/LD kids for 3 years and we found out today that her test scores (and I don’t really know which ones except for IQ) have fallen. She obviously is not learning at an appropriate level so I’ve wanted to homeschool her for just about a year. Her father (my exhusband) is absolutely against this. For what reason I really don’t know. He says he thinks she’s doing fine where she is. HELLO.
Have any of you had this sort of problem and if so, how have you handled it? I need some advice and I can’t afford to spend alot of money on an attorney.
Thank you.
Re: ex husband and homeschooling problem
In our state, if you are the custodial parent and homeschooling is what you think is best, the only thing your ex-husband could do is challenge your decision in court. Since you could provide ample evidence that homeschooling is a reasonable decision, your ex-husband would lose a court challenge. Where we are, I have never heard of an ex-spouse successfully challenging a schooling decision made by a custodial parent. That doesn’t stop ex-spouses from trying, however!
It may be different in your state. What I would do is contact one of your state’s homeschooling organizations, as this subject has undoubtedly come up in the past. You can probably find one or more by going to http://www.metacrawler and doing a search on “homeschooling “. Most of these organizations have a telephone service for answering questions about homeschooling (you usually have to leave a message and wait for someone to get back to you). They would really be your best resource for information if you don’t want to consult a lawyer. (However, if your ex- makes a legal challenge, you would need a lawyer to represent you in court. This is the major problem, as often the ex- can afford an attorney when the custodial parent really can’t afford the costs associated with winning the case — both financial and emotional.)
Your best bet is to enlist your ex-’s cooperation, perhaps by having him meet with homeschoolers who have successfully educated LD children. Or perhaps you could get him to go to an informational workshop (homeschooling organizations regularly offer these) where he could ask questions of experienced homeschooling parents.
Mary
Re: ex husband and homeschooling problem
Dear Carla-
The first question is:
1. Do you have joint custody? If so your ex can stop anything that you attempt to do.
2. It sounds like the possibility of your ex working with you are not very likely to happen. If this is such you must get ready for a fight.
The information that an attorney will need are any studies or stats that address LD children and homeschooling. (Things like getting one on one instruction being of benefit to LD children).
Also, the documentation of your childs decline in the current educational setting. This will all be information that will be very important to support your position that there needs to be a change in educational placement.
In California there are family law clinics (Facilitators Office) at every court house or close (the court clerk can direct you) it is under the direction of an attorney and they can help you in an attempt to work out an agreement and put it down on paper. Also there is a program called the Legal Aid/Legal Services Clinics - Check in your area.
If your ex is not willing to work out an agreement and if you do wind up in court ask the judge for attorney fees as you are attempting to provide for the best interest of your child and it is your ex’s unwillingness to put the childs best interest first which brings you into court.
If your child is receiving therapy from a counsler or a physician supporting letters from the treating providers is always helpful.
I am a paralegal in California. Please check in your area to see what free or low cost services are available to you. Also check at your local Women’s Center. They often give legal clinics or know of free or low cost assistance that can help you.
It might be a fight, but from the improvement that I have seen in my son I would gladly fight the fight again. My son has come farther since September than he has come in the past two years.
Best wishes to you
D.D.
[email protected]
Re: ex husband and homeschooling problem
Had the exact same experience. We did it anyway. In fact we went to court to make sure he wouldn’t be able to stop us since we felt it has been so important to my son’s development. My ex was against it from the beginning and belittled any school work we did. Don’t worry about it. Your child knows the truth and the self esteem that she will get will give her the strength to stand up to any pressure. Once you commit to doing it, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
I have a question. Does your ex-husband really hold the veto power? Does the law in your region state that he can decide what kind of education your daughter can have, even though you’re divorced and he no longer lives with the two of you? If so, something is terribly wrong, and the law needs to be changed! (I know that does not help you now, but I just had to say it. Obviously, you need an advocate to help you win this war over your daughter’s future.)
Kathy G.