:roll: Leave it to me!!!! Or maybe I’m normal..who knows.
Our 4yro starts preschool in 2 wks. She is DX’d APD and I got a Neuro Eval set up for October. She’s a HANDFUL…awful temper, hurts others when angry, breaks stuff and Threatens to kill the DH and I in our sleep,….need I go on? I think you got the picture. (thats at home„I don’t know how she will be in a structured setting.)
Anyway, Contacted the Preschool Corridnator yesterday to see if she got all the info I sent her about our daughter. Voices never got raised or anything„but she doesn’t think this preschool is a “suitable placement” for our daughter. I explained that she doesn’t qualify for the Intermediate Unit. The rehab she attends has a preschool but the director felt it would be too restrictive for our daughter and the preschool I had her enrolled in was a good placement.
The Corridnator went on to say that for many of the kids this is thier first school experience and she doesn’t want them scared. Understandable. But I shot back with„„”This is our daughters 1st school experience and I don’t want her scared either by a teacher that obviously does not want to deal with her. She has to fit in somewhere…she doesn’t qualify anywhere else. I seriously doubt that Kindergarten teacher will tell me she doesn’t fit in here.”
Understand, this preschool is ran by a District Teacher in charge of HS Child Development…and the Preschool is on the District Web Site.
I told the lady that We are not asking for a IEP or anything..right now her classroom is being used for a assessment tool since she boasted of contacts with District kindergarten teachers to get a cirriculum to prepare these kids for kindergarten. I thought this would be helpful to kinda gage where she needs help and where she doesn’t when we have to have a IEP for Kindergarten.
ANYWAY…this lady and I got off to a BAD START!!! I hate this!!! I like to be helpful instead of being a “problem” parent..ya know.
How can I fix this?
Binky
Re: I need a teachers perspective,,,ASAP,,I screwed up!!!
Does your district offer an integrated preschool or a diagnostic setting? An integrated preschool typically has special education teachers who are more equipped to deal with the behaviors that you describe.
The fact that the preschool coordinator is communicating reluctance to you tells you something. Maybe she has some suggestions in terms of an alternative placement with qualified staff.
Re: I need a teachers perspective,,,ASAP,,I screwed up!!!
As a preschool teacher and the Mom of a child with LD, I would advise you to seek out another preschool. It is very important that you place your daughter in a preschool that has teachers and directors that are degreed in [b]Early Childhood Education[/b]. This type of degree gives a fundamental understanding of the cognitive abilities and behaviors of preschool age children. As well as the knowledge necessary to influence those behaviors. It is simply untrue that we are “at a complete loss” as to how to deal with children that have special needs. In fact, it is often time teachers trained in Elementary Education that struggle with teaching and understanding the behaviors of preschool age children.
As a Mom that has had many such meetings over the last 12 years with regard to my daughters IEP, I understand how frustrating it can be. Remember, that you are your childs number one advocate. If you don’t stand up for her, no one else will.
Best of luck! :wink:
Re: I need a teachers perspective,,,ASAP,,I screwed up!!!
:wink: [b]Thank you all for your advice and prespective…very helpful :!:
Victoria:
Yes!!!! The concerns are JUSTIFIABLE!!! I do agree and I do not want my child to be one of those little ones you described!!! I feel bad for people, teachers/daycare providers that are “stuck” with a child that acts in such a way and the teacher/daycare has NO support from the parent. Just bad for all parties concerned and gives the child too much “power”.
Your post was Awesome and EXACTLY what I was looking for!!!! I will deliver a letter to the school first thing monday so hopefully we can meet before preschool begins and get some consistency between the Teacher and myself, as far as discipline and what not…that way i can do the same things at home. (I’ve learned this is one of the best ways to help the child)
I think a meeting between her and I will also alieve tensions and she’ll understand that I’m not wanting to be a “pain in the butt”. I think we need to be on the same page..at home and school. That conversation I had with her just threw me a massive curve ball. I wasn’t prepared enough to have that conversation. ( I had no ideas to offer to remedy behavior problems she MAY encounter…that conversation was just “all wrong”)
Believe me„,I not above my child getting disciplined…I’m not like that. LD or not„,they have to learn appropriate behavior and such. But , like I said„I truely don’t know how she will be at this preschool as she has NEVER been in daycare and around alot of other kids, ya know? This is gonna be a “gage” of sorts. I also told the preschool teacher that if all works out and our daughter remains in the classroom I would LOVE to have her attend the IEP meeting for Kindergarten and give her prespective on our daughter.
Basically her and I got off on the wrong foot. I scared her to death with the discription of how my daughter acts at home…And her concerns raised my defenses. I feel legitament defenses and her legitament concerns..but this just all happened all wrong. WE HAVE TO UNITE and be CONSISTENT Together…at least I think. I also think this approach with our daughter will go along way in getting her inline Extremely quickly if she should give this teacher ANY problems.
KTJ:
IU/Intermediate Unit is our State intervention program for ages 3 and under. She didn’t qualify, according to State Standards, for thier service or preschool.
The Rehab she attends that has a preschool program has alot of physically handicapped children and the Cordinator feels this setting would be too restrictive for our daughter. So basically„„I’m screwed at this point. Although, the Cordinator of the preschool I “trying” to mend fences w/ now said she would assist me in anyway to get the IU to accept our daughter if she truely cannot “fit into” the preschool setting she has set up.
MeanMamaBear:
Great„,you understand it from both prospectives. It’s hard isn’t it? Probally harder for you because you know how it is on both sides of the fence. May I add, that last year our 10yr had teacher who son is Autistic. So like yourself„she knew what was what and she was the best teacher in the world!!!!!! We both had eachothers back with difficulties in the classroom or at home and that was one of the best school years my daughter EVER HAD. She progressed Alot!!!! This teacher was sooo sweet but also could “lay down the law”..I just loved her!!!!! This year, in August, as people gathered infront of the posted class placement in the window at the school…I took every opportunity to assure any parent that wondered how this teacher “would be”, that this teacher is AWESOME and your child is set up for a very Productive year and You, the parent, will find her sooooooooooooo supportive.
Sorry for the long post…Thanks again to you all!!!!
Binky
Just a follow-up on how the school yr went and other things.
:D Went GREAT…better then expected or first invisioned it may go :wink: :? :lol:
The 5yro (age now) is evolving…but some of the same issues arise w/behavior at home..but not as frequent. Today was the first day in months that she grabbed a pencil and tried to go after the dog. (I was on it like a fly on crap..dog is a-ok, still alive after 5yrs of this..LOL) New behaviors have emerged as well.
I did send her to the preschool I was origionally wanting to send her too, the one that I thought I got off to a bad footing with. The teacher and the group of kids have been AWESOME!!!
New DX’s that have been gotten since my Origional Post:
OT/ Movement Seeker/ Joint compression therapy to hopefully prolong the amount of time she can “sit” and stay on task. Althought she verbalized to me that the 15-20 min they had in preschool for a sitting activity was VERY DIFFICULT for her.
Start of “Lazy Eye”/form of Strabismus..the 11yro has this as well but hers didn’t develope as she grew..she was born with it and both eyes were effected. For the 5yro…I voiced concern w/drifting in the one eye when she was tired. He comfirmed that she is very farsighted (glasses) and this could be the reason for running into walls and such..plus, we saved vision loss in the effected eye plus patching is being done to stregnthen the muscles so the eye can keep it’s full vision. I wonder how this will effect her ability to read?
Within the last week, the preschool teacher has been making notes of our daughters failure to wear her glasses in preschool. Our 5yro just refuses to do it and here at home too…but we work with it so it gets done.
A new behavior is our 5yro thinking she is being yelled at when she is not. I been seeing this @ home daily, mainy times a day. This had a gradual onset then WHAM..it was everyday! No report from preschool teacher that this is a problem in class.
Just thought I would let you know how things were going since you all took the time to respond to my origional post.
Have a great summer!
Binky
Re: I need a teachers perspective,,,ASAP,,I screwed up!!!
Her eyes sound a lot like mine. I was also born farsighted, with astigmatism, with differing focal points in each eye. I also walked into walls etc. Because I was *refused* treatment when needed, the lazy eye developed and got worse; couldn’t convince anyone I needed help (despite walking into walls and furniture) until age 17; now as an adult my left eye is essentially decoration, works at about 10%
Stress wearing those glasses, and get the teachers with the program. it will matter for the rest of her life. However, on the good side, I have recently read that even short bursts of eye patching daily can do good for the lazy eye, so keep at it at home.
Re: I need a teachers perspective,,,ASAP,,I screwed up!!!
:lol: vfffffffffhbnkofpbvvbkgfiffjg
The above is our daughters thank you for your story.
I read it to her and it had reenforced all we have been stressing.
She actually asked for her eye patch to be on..YEAH!!! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!!
She only needs it on 1hr a day..but getting half that time is a struggle…but it gets done. Sometimes, she’ll get busy doing something when the patch is on and she forgets about it so she gets a hour.
Right now she is busy playing outside….so hopefully we’ll get the full hour in.
Thanks again,
Binky
:wink:
Ouch! Hurts others — threatens to kill — I think we can see why the preschool teacher is justifiably nervous. Remember also that some of the other children at the preschool may be quite a bit smaller that she is and can actually be injured.
I’ve been in various school settings where one aggressive kid made life impossible for all the rest. Especially in a preschool setting, where you are trying to have a lot of unstructured play, I have see one aggressive five-year-old take over and run the place. I literally had to push him off in order to let one little girl play with the dollhouse He smashed any organized play that he saw, the only permitted activiteis being running, screaming, and breaking. The school was trying to cure him with kindness which just ran right off him, and the other 23 kids were under acute stress all day.
Preschool teachers are chosen for their loving and gentle personaliites, are told never ever to raise their voices and to always reason with the children — they are just at a complete loss when dealing with this kind of situation.
I would suggest you write or email back — writing rither than talking to keep the emotions down — and suggest working out an appropriate behaviour management policy that will help your daughter learn what is or is not appropriate around other people, and give the teacher tools to keep the preschool a good environment for all involved. You have to agree — I would say definitely in writing — why and where and how and how long your daughter can be isolated if she is hurting others, and how much force the teacher can legitimately use ie permission to pick her up and carry her out of the room if necessary. Teachers are in a panic when a child is hurting others and they are not allowed to touch the child, I think you can understand why.