Message for Sara

: I’ve been teaching for 20 + years and I see a classroom as a community and I see myself as a member of that community. I see my job as facilitating the needs of the classroom community, not controlling them. Have you ever heard of a writer, Alfie Kohn? You might try reading some of his works. It sounds as if you’re at a crossroads and deciding which way to go.Middle schoolers have a very tough time not blurting. Some kids with ADD, diagnosed or not, have impulse issues and blurting out is an expression of those impulse issues. I work to discourage blurting but I would not punish it. There are bigger issues to deal with. I also don’t see people as needing to be “managed”. Do you like that idea? Do you like to be thought of as “managed” or would you prefered to be cared about and cared for? Does your doctor “manage” you or provide you with good care? Did your parents “manage” you or raise you? Did your minister “manage” you or help you with your spirtual needs?they have learning needs but they also have needs as people. Most teachers look past their needs as people and give the weak excuse that “they’re there to teach”. Which is more important to you? That they learn or that you have human beings with you in the classroom each day?And yes, if you’re always sending your students out, you’re not getting the job done in the room. For me to send a child out, it’s a really big deal. I’ve expelled the child, even if temporarily, from the community that is my classroom. That’s a strong statement. It says that they are doing something so harmful to the needs of the community they can’t be in it for now. Kids don’t like that because they do like my classroom.I would never send any child to a holding tank - call it what you will - the ISS room. It demeans a child. Basic psychology - basic behavior modification - tells us we accomplish nothing with any person, child or not, when we demean them. We don’t enroll kids by demeaning them, we marginalize them.Think about giving your kids a survey. It should be anonymous and it should be focused around what needs to be done differently in the classroom on your part and their parts.If you were a doctor, would you not listen to your patient when they tried to tell you what was wrong? What’s different about teaching? You know something’s wrong in the classroom. Why not ask your patients? Aren’t you there, just as is a doctor, to minister to their needs? Or are they there to minister to yours?You’ll get different answers to those last two questions depending on what teachers you talk to and the answer you come up with, will define your career.What about this? Ask your kids who the best teacher in your school is. Go then to that person and ask them to be your mentor. Ask them for help in learning how to work with kids.That you want to is a sign that you’re trying hard to be a good teacher.Sara, thank you for your honest advice. When I talked about time-out,
: it is in the ISS room, that the high school and junior high uses
: to send kids out when they misbehave. The behavior problems were
: during the workbook time and not during Bingo Math, actually my
: students behave during Bingo. I talked to them today, and I think
: I still need to work on my management skills. I always worry I
: give too many warnings and I don’t want to always be sending my
: students out. I thought about the most important behaviors for my
: kids to have, and I really would like them to raise their hand
: instead of blurting. Off the subject, how long have you been
: teaching? How do you handle discipline? Thank you for all your
: knowledge!

: I see what you mean. I really thought about what you have written. I want my students to trust me and to feel I care about them. I have been in many classrooms where the teacher is in ultimate control, and my kids don’t like her, but they respect her. Which is more important, my students liking me or respecting me. I want them to do both. I was once criticized for not being “strict enough”, so I always worry that I am too permissive.Sure I would like to have my classroom become a community, but I have three students that pick on the others outside of class. One of my students had her schedule changed because another one of my students continuously calls her “ugly” and “dumb”. How do I put an end to that so that my students will learn to at least tolerate each other? How do I prevent my students from “walking all over me?” I don’t having to send them out of my room, I know I have failed them, but what do I do when they tease others or refuse to work? Let them stay in the classroom and jeopardize the learning of others? I guess my main objective is to have the students respect me (not sure if they do) and make sure they know I am there for them to help them (they know I will do this.)I have listened to Alfie Kohn speak. I do agree that rewards can have a negative effect on behavior, but he never mentioned how to ensure that children will behave, or strategies to encourage better behavior.Thanks again, hope to hear from you soon, Rebecca Warner Middle schoolers have a very tough time not blurting. Some kids with
: ADD, diagnosed or not, have impulse issues and blurting out is an
: expression of those impulse issues. I work to discourage blurting
: but I would not punish it. There are bigger issues to deal with. I
: also don’t see people as needing to be “managed”. Do you
: like that idea? Do you like to be thought of as
: “managed” or would you prefered to be cared about and
: cared for? Does your doctor “manage” you or provide you
: with good care? Did your parents “manage” you or raise
: you? Did your minister “manage” you or help you with
: your spirtual needs?: they have learning needs but they also have needs as people. Most
: teachers look past their needs as people and give the weak excuse
: that “they’re there to teach”. Which is more important
: to you? That they learn or that you have human beings with you in
: the classroom each day?: And yes, if you’re always sending your students out, you’re not
: getting the job done in the room. For me to send a child out, it’s
: a really big deal. I’ve expelled the child, even if temporarily,
: from the community that is my classroom. That’s a strong
: statement. It says that they are doing something so harmful to the
: needs of the community they can’t be in it for now. Kids don’t
: like that because they do like my classroom.: I would never send any child to a holding tank - call it what you
: will - the ISS room. It demeans a child. Basic psychology - basic
: behavior modification - tells us we accomplish nothing with any
: person, child or not, when we demean them. We don’t enroll kids by
: demeaning them, we marginalize them.: Think about giving your kids a survey. It should be anonymous and it
: should be focused around what needs to be done differently in the
: classroom on your part and their parts.: If you were a doctor, would you not listen to your patient when they
: tried to tell you what was wrong? What’s different about teaching?
: You know something’s wrong in the classroom. Why not ask your
: patients? Aren’t you there, just as is a doctor, to minister to
: their needs? Or are they there to minister to yours?: You’ll get different answers to those last two questions depending on
: what teachers you talk to and the answer you come up with, will
: define your career.: What about this? Ask your kids who the best teacher in your school
: is. Go then to that person and ask them to be your mentor. Ask
: them for help in learning how to work with kids.: That you want to is a sign that you’re trying hard to be a good
: teacher.: Sara, thank you for your honest advice. When I talked about time-out,

: Do you really respect the people you dislike? Do your students really respect this other teacher or do they fear her?Understand that some stances can only come with age and experience. Young teachers really can’t play the role of older, wiser, gray-haired people who’ve been around the block more than once and have a wealth of experience.The truth is any of our authority with kids is really very thin. That’s why sadly schools layer themselves deep with things like detention. Real authority comes from leadership. Leadership is people following you because they want to, because they truly respect you, not fear what you may do to them.How are you presenting yourself to these kids? What teachers truly had your respect as a student and what earned that respect from you?I work to respect my students’ private lives. They have private lives, you know, and most teachers don’t acknowledge that. I start off by giving the real reasons we’re studying what we’re studying and I don’t see real reasons for it, I cut it out of my curriculum. I openly acknowledge that many of them don’t like school and I don’t give pep talks about how they should and how “they’ll find it useful one day.” I tell them I regret that things like ISS rooms exist and how I feel it’s wrong that young people in our society have so little real control over their lives.These kids, yours or mine, don’t choose school. It’s chosen for them. Often they don’t even a choice about what school to go to. They’re assigned to a school. You and I have choices. We can quit our jobs and get another. We can negotiate with our employer if we don’t like our working conditions. I acknowledge that to my students and try to increase their choices in my room. I give as little homework as possible and never give homework on weekends on holidays so they can have the private lives they’re entitled to. I avoid grading whenever possible because grades are a way teachers abuse students and wield an unbalanced power over them. I used to tell them everyone starts out with an A and that it’s possible for everyone to get an A (some teachers won’t allow that in their grading systems as they think it makes them look “easy” and they fear looking “easy”)But actually it sounds to me like your problem is coming from three students and the rest are fine. What do you know about those students? Have you read their files? Do any have ADD? What’s their home life like? Is math easy for them or hard? Are they actually able to work independently in their work books or is that why trouble breaks out during work book time?As to the “ugly” and “dumb” outside your classroom, that’s hard for you to stop. But you can certainly stop it inside your classroom. I’d flip if kids did that in the community of my classroom. I explain, first time it happens, that it’s unacceptable and tell them why. (I always tell why) It’s not my rule but how can we get along - and we have to - for a class period every day? Ask them are they really happy in school? do they look forward to coming every day? If not, couldn’t one period a day be different?I’d ask hard questions and I’d look upset -even angry - when I asked them. Do you like living like this? Are you happy with yourselves? Is that your life - ridiculing other people? Even though I’d be talking to the entire class - there’d be no doubt that I be talking to a few of them.I’d explain my own commitments to not speaking to kids that way. I’d explain how I would never want any person to feel less good about themself from an experience in my class.If none of that worked, I’d take the three troublemakers and sit them apart in the room or sit them in the hall. If they’re truly determined not to work, not to do anything, you’re right, they can’t mess up the period for everybody.All new teachers have to find themselves and pay some dues. You can say that to them as you say it to yourself. There aren’t shortcuts to teaching experience but in my experience if you treat students with the dignity that school most often denies them, even the saddest among them respond to your honest fairness.You didn’t hear all of Alfie Kohn’s message if you didn’t hear this. Get his books. He’s got a lot more to say than the rewards stuff. Try finding a book called The Peaceable Classroom as well.Sure I would like to have my classroom become a community, but I have
: three students that pick on the others outside of class. One of my
: students had her schedule changed because another one of my
: students continuously calls her “ugly” and
: “dumb”. How do I put an end to that so that my students
: will learn to at least tolerate each other? How do I prevent my
: students from “walking all over me?” I don’t having to
: send them out of my room, I know I have failed them, but what do I
: do when they tease others or refuse to work? Let them stay in the
: classroom and jeopardize the learning of others? I guess my main
: objective is to have the students respect me (not sure if they do)
: and make sure they know I am there for them to help them (they
: know I will do this.): I have listened to Alfie Kohn speak. I do agree that rewards can have
: a negative effect on behavior, but he never mentioned how to
: ensure that children will behave, or strategies to encourage
: better behavior.: Thanks again, hope to hear from you soon, Rebecca Warner Middle
: schoolers have a very tough time not blurting. Some kids with