I have a 10 year old son with various learning problems, CAPD, ADD,
We are having a very hard time getting him to do his home school work. We have tried toys, games, money, trips, to get him to do his work. We have tried taking away everything, and standing in the corner, making him sit until his work is done, everything!
He will sit and stare at a math paper with problems that he knows how to do for hours, I have tryed cutting the problems apart and only giving him one or two at a time, but he still just sits. If you sit with him and say, what is 9 take away 4, he will tell you the answer…..and write it down.
Reading and writing is where he has major LD problems. He still has not progressed beyond a Kindergarten level. We have tried several different approaches to learning. When he was 6, he could tell you that the word was red, but he couldn’t tell you the letters in the word. He can now tell you the letters in a word, but using the differnt phonics rules is a major problem. We cant get him to write because he doesnt know how to spell, and we cant get him to use creative spelling. He is a perfectionist in his school work. If he knows its wrong, he wont do it. We have tried all the resorces available at our public school, that is why we are trying to homeschool. He was placed in a class with children that were not as mentally able as he is, and we noticed that as the years went on, he was acting more and more like those children. We were losing our bright little boy.
We feel that he knows so much more than he is actually putting on paper. We need to find some way to get the knowledge out of him. Am I expecting too much from my child? I also have 2 other children with LD/ ADD and my husband is LD also, I am ADD.
Dee
Re: Motivation, expecting too much?
>>We feel that he knows so much more than he is actually putting on paper. We need to find some way to get the knowledge out of him. <<
Can he verbally tell you want he knows?
Sometimes it just takes time.
It took my son until the end of 6th grade
and almost 13 yrs. old until
I felt that he is getting a handle on reading.
Anne
Re: Motivation, expecting too much?
I have been working with people with various challenges and disabilities for about 10 years. There was a Psychologist who told me at a educational seminar once that you can Cue, Compensate or Curcumvent a persons difficulty.
What this means is you can cue him about the possible outcome of the question(I.e.visually 4 + 5 = and perform the addition with objects in front of him to assts with the answer), compensate the area of difficulty (I.e. reducing any potential distractors int he room such as a fan running in the corner that can interfere with maintaining attention).
Circumventing is a very important area frequently not used. What I mean by circumventing is avoiding the difficult task. If spelling and writing are an area of difficulty voice activated software (I.e. Dragon 5 software ) may help; as a child speaks into a microphone the words are transformed into words in a Windows porgram which can be printed.
Circumventing the area of difficulty may help to reduce some of the stress and anxiety he may have in this area and allow more time to focus on developing more areas of strength. He hopefully will develop more confidence as his stregths improve and be willing to tackle the big spelling monster down the road but also won’t have lost valuable time in the process.
Another important thing is be a detective and watch your child when he is doing well and having difficulty. What is providing him with difficulty (I.e. maintaining attention, abstract problem solving, etc) and where are his areas of strength (I.e. he performs better when things are presented visually vs auditorily).
Last and most important, talk to your child and ask him where he is having difficulty. I know easier said than done but remember your child probably doesn’t realise where he is having difficulty either and you will have to be a detective together.
I know because I grew up with LD. People assumed they knew what my problem was, I couldn’t remember information because I wasn’t paying attention in class. It wasn’t until I was 20 and became a “detectcive” into my own problems and tackled them that I figured things out. I couldn’t maintain attention and my mind would drift away, I had to learn to recognise when this was happenning and bring myself back. I learned better visually and could not block out background noise so I learned to “overfocus” on a task when I needed to (Years of Karate training helped with this area partially because I enjoyed it) and my thoughts would not organise on their own therefore I maintain a “filing system ” in my head.It doesn’t sound easy and it wasn’t initially but know I do it without even realising it.
It all worked out, I graduated from College. I work as a Rehabilitation Therapist in a Neurobehavioral Program and at a Children’s Ttreatment Center. Best of luck and if you need any further info let me know. Also look into the Inspirations program (www.inspirations.com), its thought webbing software that your son may find useful. Keep up the hard work you sound like great parents. Make use of all the resources available to you, if I can turn out OK with teachers and parents telling me I was stupid and with no help at all, I’m sure your son will do great with your help and some hard work.
All the best ,
Brad
Re: Motivation, expecting too much?
I would do just what everyone else has reccommended and back off any writing or math. You could try reading to him and work on comprehension. Read a page and have him close his eyes. Ask him to draw what he saw in his head. then, discuss his picture. Think about what interests he has other than school and find a book and a video about this topic. Help him to research and find out about it. Do a K (what I already know) W(what I want to know) and L (what I learned) chart. He will be amazed at the things he knows. Help him to see that he is smart and I can do lots of things.
Re: Motivation, expecting too much?
My daughter used to exhibit the same characteristics. It was sheer exhaustion from working so hard. She was also ADD and we have put her on Concerta and she gets homework done in about 1/3 of the time. I agree, be a detective and find out exactly what’s going on.
Re: Motivation, expecting too much?
also, could be that he understands it when you say it, not when he sees it — so something that will read the numbers to him would free him from that.
Re: Motivation, expecting too much?
How does he do with his work while in school? That would be an important question to me. Is he just sitting and staring at his math work in school or is it only out of school?
If in school, he’s doing fine with his teacher then I would ask that he be excused from homework. It’s hard for any child to be in school all day and then have more school work at night.
If though he’s also sitting and staring for hours at math problems he knows how to do in school, that’s another matter altogether.
Dee,
I think your son has given up. He has not experienced success in school or homeschool. That on top of possible ADD would make motivation be VERY low.
What have you used to remediate his reading and math? You may need different methods in order for him to progress. You may need some special training. I love for parents to homeschool LD kids so they can have that one-on-one instruction. But coming home does not cure most LD’s. The teacher still has to train in special techniques in oder to remediate these problems. And maybe you have done this. Perhaps those here with experience can advise you if you tell us what things you’ve tried already.
Janis