The Pretenders: Gifted People Who Have Difficulty Learning

Best Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them.

Some of us learn things in a different way from those around us — do you too? One frog might need a bit of help with counting; another might not know how to behave around other frogs. Other young frogs in this book are easily distracted and get themselves into trouble. But help is at hand: if we think differently about things that we find difficult, we can find our own ways to get better at doing them.

Ever since first grade, Ben’s been in trouble, even though he’s really not a bad kid. He just can’t seem to stop doing things that get him sent to the principal’s office. His parents and wise older sister, Meg, swear he’ll be fine in his own time, but when a new kid shows up in Ben’s fifth-grade class, he’s not so sure. Trout sticks to him like glue, and it’s clear from the start that Trout is a much bigger troublemaker than Ben ever was. So when Ben gets diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), just like Trout, and then has to take Ritalin, just like Trout, he’s not sure what to make of his friendship — especially when he starts to get a bad reputation. Is Trout’s badness rubbing off on him? Can Ben make people understand it’s the ADD, not Trout, causing the problems before it’s too late?

As any parent, teacher, coach, or caregiver of a learning disabled child knows, every learning disability has a social component. The ADD child constantly interrupts and doesn’t follow directions. The child with visual-spatial issues loses his belongings. The child with a nonverbal communication disorder fails to gesture when she talks. These children are socially out of step with their peers, and often they are ridiculed or ostracized for their differences. A successful social life is immeasurably important to a child’s happiness, health, and development.

Zipper, is a bright, well-intentioned fifth-grader whose impulsive behavior gets him into trouble at home and at school. He speaks before he thinks, making it hard to keep friends; he forgets to do his homework; and although he’s a talented pitcher, he misses a key baseball game. Follow Zipper as he discovers a newfound talent and learns to manage his Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

With a positive, friendly approach, this guide defines learning disabilities, illustrates the different types, and explains where they come from, all the while providing reassurance without overwhelming the child. Many Ways to Learn describes the effects learning disabilities have on young people’s behavior, performance, and emotions, and offers solid, proven suggestions for coping at home, in school, and with friends. It features a first-person account from a child with learning disabilities, a chapter on computers and an extensive resource list for parents. The message in Many Ways to Learn is that kids with learning disabilities have average or above-average intelligence; they just find it difficult to learn in a particular area or areas. With some help from school and family—and a little extra work on their part—they can do as well as anyone else.