My Gr. 1 student has really come a long way. He knows all the letter names and sounds now and some sight words after 17 weeks of 30 minute daily pull out doing Lindamood. He is working on writing the letters when given the letter name (he can write, given the sounds).
My problem is, he is very competitive (IQ 130 WISC; dyslexic)) and he always compares how he is doing with his classmates in the regular classroom. It’s not enough that he can now do what the lowest reading group is doing. He wants to be the first to finish doing the worksheets in that group.
How can I tell him that even though he has really improved, it’s just not possible to be ahead? Even to catch up is impossible enough! He still has a long long way to go. I don’t want to break his heart and dampen his spirits. He started the school year in August having very poor self-esteem. Now he is motivated to learn. He really works very hard.
Re: how to tell the awful truth about catching up
WHY tell him that he ‘won’t’???? YES, it is tough…NO, you can’t tell him when…but reading IS somewhat of an art. The day will come, if he keeps on as he is, when he will be FLUENT…and then, he will not only catch up, but move ahead. Often, children seem to do this ‘overnight’, but it is
simply that all the pieces fell into place, and they now have the skills they need to forge ahead and read individually.
I know you don’t want to give him unrealizable expectations, but I truly believe you are NOT, if you are clear with him that this is an individual journey, and the only rule is that ‘practice makes perfect’! Being in the lowest group in grade one is NOT an accurate predictor of later academic success…best wishes to both of you!
Time to introduce self-competition
I do a little Powerpoint on how the brain learns and how we grow new connections. It takes a while for those to mature and get fast. Because of this, each person must compete with their own brain skills in different areas of being “smart” and learning.
It is often unhealthy, as you know, for children to be very competitive with others because all of our brains grow differently. He will exceed others in different categories, but probably not in all categories. I’m just honest about this with children.
I hope he can be patient with himself and celebrate his reading victories as measured in personal improvement. Personal goals. Personal victories. Personal celebrations.
Re: how to tell the awful truth about catching up
You need to get him to focus on what he can do. Heap on the praise for things at which he is good. If he needs to compare himself with others, then let him do it in an arena where he can. Leave the reading out of the discussion. Remind him that everyone has different talents and everyone grows at a different rate. Try to get him to compete with himself. Make a chart with some achieveable reading goals for himself, then let him mark off with markers or stickers everytime he makes progress or achieves a goal.
Fern
My daughter has a similar profile
In 2nd grade I told her, “Your brain works differently and we are going to find someone to teach you how to read the way your brain works”
Also, ” Lots of smart people don’t read and write very well - just like you”.
She has now internalized it to: “Mom, just b/c you don’t know the answer FIRST, doesn’t mean you don’t know the answer”.
She’s in 4th grade, she’s come a long way. She sometimes gets discouraged and complains but we agree it’s hard, etc., etc., then we decide that “You have to work harder than everyone else to do the same - or less”. It’s not fair, it’s not fun, but it’s life.
She’s coming along. I think she’ll be just fine. So will your son.
If he knows all the sound/symbol correlations, is he being taught how to blend the sounds into words? He seems ready for more…