Just to let you know what we finally decided, I called our SPED coordinator yesterday and asked that they switch my son to another class. She said she would speak to the principal and get back to me on Monday. Thanks for the input from everyone.
I know that changing classes mid-year won’t be easy, but I think this teacher and my son are so incompatible that it really will be for the best. I don’t think he’ll be happy with the decision at first, because he likes the other 2 teachers, and thinks that he has friends in the class. But he _always_ thinks everyone likes him. In actuality, although I don’t think anyone has been outright mean to him (our school system is pretty good at stressing that) I don’t really think he has any real friends in the class. He hasn’t been invited to one other classmate’s house all year, and although he has tried inviting one child here a few times, after the first time, (which I think was to check out our horses as much as anything else) he hasn’t come again.
My son has a small circle of nice friends that he has known for years who are all in other classes. I don’t think that switching his class will affect his social life much at all.
So, I’ll keep you all posted on how it works out. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Karen
Re: An update
Thanks for sharing your experience. I sure hope things will get better. It’s hard to believe it could be worse!
Karen
Re: An update
Karen,
I hope it works out well for all of you. In my experience, we know our kids better than anyone else and the final hour, our gut reactions are usually right. Our life was so much less stressful after I pulled our son our of school last year and partially homeschooled him. Hopefully, you will find the same with your decision.
Beth
Re: An update
Karen,
I’m glad you made that decision. For what it’s worth, I think it’s a good one. Please keep us posted.
Re: An update
Thanks, Joan.
We met with the new team of teachers this morning, and what a difference!!! We’ve gone from this young teacher who didn’t want to hear anything we had to say, about our son’s needs, to a team of older teachers who are warm and open and questioned us carefully about our son and his issues. They had all already read his IEP and the materials on NLD that the SPED coordinator had given them, and asked questions about anything that they weren’t clear on.
They are very concerned about his adjustment into the new classroom, and said they would be there half an hour before school starts on Tues, so that I can bring him myself and let him meet them and familiarize him with the classroom.
Of course I didn’t want to turn it into a “bash on the old teacher” session, but when I gave them a couple of examples of the types of problems that his NLD had caused in trying to communicate with the other teacher, they were clearly taken aback that the teacher hadn’t been able to understand his misunderstanding.
So, we’re going to tell him tonight to let him have the weekend to get used to the idea. Two of his friends are in the class he’s moving to, so I think that will help him settle in. Wish us luck!
Karen
Re: An update
Best of luck to you and your son, Karen. It sounds very positive. Makes me wonder if these other teachers have already had a “feeling” about this new teacher even prior to your son’s situation. I certainly hope the principal is proactive in helping the new teacher grow. But it’s great for you that HIS new teachers are interested and asking questions. Very good sign.
Re: An update
I hope she can learn to handle kids with special needs better. If not, they should at least take her out of the inclusion classrooms. I’m just glad she’s not practicing on my kid anymore. (I’ll make darned sure my younger one doesn’t end up in her class either)
We told my son tonight, and predictably for an NLD kid, his initial reaction was extremely negative, with lots of stamping around and crying, and saying he wasn’t changing. We had gotten Chinese food (his favorite) for take out just before we told him, and by the time he had eaten and watched a video, he was settling down and coming up with some good things about the move. He was upset because he forgot and brought the class boys’ room pass home in his pocket, and was afraid he’d have to take it back down to his old classroom on Tues. I told him that I was sure if we dropped it at the office, they could take care of it.
We are just going to really emphasize that this was NOT his fault, and keep him busy over the weekend. I suspect by Tuesday he will be more comfortable with the idea.
Karen
Karen,
I had my daughter in a private school, I was also having problems with the way the system was working against her. I was noticing my daughters attitude changing, and of course the blame was put on her not being cooperative. In short after many conversations on deaf ears, I pulled her out of the school, sent her to a private learning program and registered her in a public school.
I worried this was the right decision, and spent many a sleepless nights thinking this through. When I approached my daughter with my decision much to my surprise (I thought she’d miss her friends and teachers and that security she had) she was excited about the change. Her first day at the new school was yesterday and I worried all day how it was going for her, was she by herself, would the other kids be friendly, all the normal worries.
When I picked her up she was glowing they were all so nice to her and even fought over who got to sit next to her at lunch. They even assigned her a buddy from the 7th grade to help catch up on the work(she is in 3rd grade).
I think my decision was the right one, she has the chance to start fresh, no judgements. And best thing yet they spec ed director called me in the evening to discuss how we can work out her program.
So making the changes for your son may actually help boost his confidence because he can show what he can do to the new teacher and start a new relationship.