Helping a pre service special education teacher

When I go to a meeting I would like to hear that my son is making progress, but that never seems to happen. I know I would like to hear something positive about my son, not that he doesn’t try. Of course he doesn’t try, he’s learned to not try, why try and fail.
I know this wasn’t much help, but if you could find just one positive thing to say, I’m sure you would make lots of points!

That was great and i thank you for that good advice.

Ali, your sensitivity will make you a great teacher and I think parents are going to love you…as the other poster said, always say something positive, especially AT THE BEGINNING of the interview! My son’s first kindergarten interview began: ‘NOW, with (YOUR SON) I have a BIG problem…’ and went on to say how she had seen these kids before and I have some real trouble on my hands…

He had begun the year coming home SCARED of her..saying ‘why does she have to yell’, etc. ‘why is she so mean to so and so’ etc. He was not talking to her, resented her and was not defiant but was ‘quietly uncooperative’, after his initial nervous reaction. She actually told me later in the interview (after I gave her some attitude back!) that ‘Oh, I thought he was so nervous because YOU were harsh with him’!

This is a boy whose nursery school teacher (who HAS taught SK and KNOWS her business) called him ‘My Story Boy’ and marvelled at his verbal capacity and ability to recount stories he has seen or made up among many other things…the boy who cried when he was sick and had to miss school a year earlier, by Xmas of SK said to me ‘I Can’t WAIT for Xmas, mum — do you know why? Not because of Santa — because of TWO WHOLE weeks with NO SCHOOL!” Needless to say, this attitude has greatly complicated his academic troubles!

He IS dyslexic, but her total mis-taking of his personality made me ignore the tiny valuable kernel of advice (that his written expression WAS showing signs of the ‘dyslexic learner’) I might have taken, had she been more diplomatic and caring in presenting her opinion. I just reacted to her tone and manner, thought she was a witch, took my mother’s ‘old style’ advice that he was just immature, wrote her off as burnt-out and not very knowledgable, and ‘hoped for the best’ in grade 1.

Of course, in grade 1 he was NOT ready for reading, he was at a beginning kindergarten level, and in a largely whole-language, look and say classroom, experienced the pain of reading failure…I kick MYSELF for this but HAD this teacher been trained in communicating ‘bad news’ we might have avoided alot of trouble for my child…because I would have taken her more valuable insights seriously.

Last of all, if you are willing to be flexible and openminded, and work with those parents who are interested, you will really be effective and welcomed, and YOUR advice will be taken seriously, therefore helping your students immensely. I realize that all parents are not involved and teachers have a legitimate beef, but that is no excuse for the way some teachers IGNORE my point of view - -I AM involved and willing to do ANYTHING they ask, and I do have valuable insights to share that will help them work with my child!

Best wishes to you, your future students, and their parents!