Frustration and shutdowns

Has your son been found eligible for Special Education? Does he receive any support outside the classroom instruction? How old is he?

I ask because the sorts of responses you get may depend in part on this information- there are different avenues you can take advantage of depending on where you are in the system. I will say however, that his teachers sound like a particularly inconsiderate group of individuals. Yuck…

Robin

My son is 8 years old, in the 2nd grade. He is eligible for special education services for OT and language, with collaborative services in the classroom for language arts. The collaborative services include the special ed coordinator entering his classroom for 1/2 hour a day to observe and help. Unfortunately when she is in the classroom, he is never having one of these meltdowns, and she ends up being a general aide to the class.

Yesterday they tell me he has been inattentive in class for the past 2 weeks, when I asked what they were doing to keep him on track during the lessons, I got a blank stare.

I also got a lecture how the teacher is NOT a trained special education teacher, just a regular ed teacher, and she shouldn’t be expected to make accomodations that affect the entire class. (i.e. she can’t spend all her time making sure his needs are met at the expense of the rest of the class) The lecture went on to say that the teacher is a very sensitive person, and is taking this personally, my question was my son is a sensitive person, and his needs aren’t being met in the classroom, so what now? Again I got a blank stare.

Sitting here crying about it isn’t changing it, but I really don’t know what to do, short of hiring an attorney. And if that is the case, I don’t want to fight, I will homeschool. While he will get an education that meets his needs, he won’t have the social training others would get attending a school. (Private schools are out in this situation, as we have none nearby that will accept special education students)

Don’t feel that if you must homeschool, your child will be deprived of social opportunities. There are a number of ways to get him the social training you want him to have. There are church groups, national organizations that he could join. I’m told there are homeschooling organizations where homeschooling parents pool together and give their children a chance to socialize. I don’t have access to all the different ways he can have a chance to make friends, but homeschooling parents will be able to give you suggestions there.

Yours truly,
Kathy G.

> Sitting here crying about it isn’t changing it, but I really
> don’t know what to do, short of hiring an attorney. And if
> that is the case, I don’t want to fight, I will homeschool.
> While he will get an education that meets his needs, he won’t
> have the social training others would get attending a
> school. (Private schools are out in this situation, as we
> have none nearby that will accept special education students)

I also got a lecture how the teacher is NOT a trained special education teacher, just a regular ed teacher, and she
shouldn’t be expected to make accomodations that affect the entire class. (i.e. she can’t spend all her time making
sure his needs are met at the expense of the rest of the class) The lecture went on to say that the teacher is a very
sensitive person, and is taking this personally, my question was my son is a sensitive person, and his needs aren’t
being met in the classroom, so what now? Again I got a blank stare.

I am delighted that his teacher is such a sensitive person- but this is a crock and I am not sure that I would worry too much about how these people view my efforts to support my child. Your son has an IEP and this teacher was there helping to develop these accommodations yes? Regardless…The law is very strongly supportive of the fact that classroom teachers are just as obligated as Special Educators in providing accommodations. It is not necessary that this be a burden on the class- that issue is addressed in the IEP meeting where they are planned. She needs to get over it and you might need to call another IEP meeting to reinforce this. With a copy of the law in your hands. And a tape recorder. Cheez…

Or I guess you could homeschool if that really feels like a better choice. I personally could not do it- but many people do and are very happy with it- and would never go back to public schools. Post this over on the Parenting a Child with LD Board- you will recieve a lot of very helpful advice and support.

Robin

Hi everyone,

I too have had the same discussion last week at an IEP meeting with my 8 yr old’s teacher and IEP team. I am asking/insisting that he remain fully included and NOT go down the hall, out the door, and into the portable trailor for resource in math and language ever day. I am asking that the resource teacher come into his classroom and work directly with him, administer his tests, etc. She claims that she cannot do that because she has students in her classroom at all times and cannot leave them alone just to be with my son. Also, the reg. ed. teacher has no idea about making modifications. I was told by my IEP team ISET/meeting leader that the regular ed. teacher is being expected to act as a special ed. teacher, and that is not her job. I, of course, went nuts. I said that reg. and spec. ed. are to over lap, and it should be a team effort and that with the appropriate amount of support from the spec. ed. teacher, the reg. ed. teacher CAN do the modifications and there should not be a line drawn in the sand between reg. ed. and spec. ed. I am so incredibly frustrated and upset.
Is there actual law that states my above argument, reg. ed. and spec. ed. blending together?? I know that that is the intent, but is there something I can quote??

Trina

Hi - I am a special educator (23 years experience) so maybe I can help. There is a process called an FBA - It stands for functional behavioral analysis. It is a process of looking at a target behavior (melt down) and figuring out exactly what surroundings it happens in, what specifically triggers it, and basically what the exact cause or causes (their term is functions) of the behavior are..

It sounds like the CAPD coupled with the ADHD has significant implications for your son … This is a rather detailed analysis of a behavior with the express purpose of restructuring things so the behavior is controlled, BEFORE meltdown occurs. It alerts those working with him for signals or triggers or skills he may need to learn to prevent or divert or substitute behaviors. The whole idea of this process is to figure out what triggers the behavior and work on that end of things because consequences such as lecturing etc cannot change the behavior or teach your son how to overcome the situation that causes his meltdown… or frustration…etc. If for some reason these “consequences” do stop the crying or melting down, they will surely resurface again later because the cause is not dealt with or the consequewnces are yet another trigger for the frustration….. If not dealth with the trigger is just push back out of sight for awhile to fester inside of him - (not real great for an ADHA child…)

Your school’s psychologist should have information on doing an FBA and then creating a FBP (functional behavior plan or Strategic Plan) that dovetails with his IEP… If you would like more information, let me know and I will see what I can provide. Good luck - I like parents like you - you care!
Cheryl Busch

Trina - what state are you in?

Hi Cheryl,

YES!!!, somebody who actually understands what we mean when we say “meltdown” and “shutdown” and who acknowledges it. I have encountered so much resistance in trying to get my school pyschologist and social worker to help my son who has some of the the behaviors that Patty’s son is displaying. I’ve been told to seek an outside psychologist, which we did, but I am unsure how his therapy can possibly help the classroom atmosphere. If things are triggering him in the classroom and the teacher is unaware of what it is because these problems are being addressed outside of school in therapy how do we mesh the two? Would it be appropriate for the school to do the FBA or should I ask his pyschologist about this? I would really like to know what the triggers are because it would CERTAINLY help our homelife as well.

Has your son been found eligible for Special Education? Does he receive any support outside the classroom instruction? How old is he?

I ask because the sorts of responses you get may depend in part on this information- there are different avenues you can take advantage of depending on where you are in the system. I will say however, that his teachers sound like a particularly inconsiderate group of individuals. Yuck…

Robin

My son is 8 years old, in the 2nd grade. He is eligible for special education services for OT and language, with collaborative services in the classroom for language arts. The collaborative services include the special ed coordinator entering his classroom for 1/2 hour a day to observe and help. Unfortunately when she is in the classroom, he is never having one of these meltdowns, and she ends up being a general aide to the class.

Yesterday they tell me he has been inattentive in class for the past 2 weeks, when I asked what they were doing to keep him on track during the lessons, I got a blank stare.

I also got a lecture how the teacher is NOT a trained special education teacher, just a regular ed teacher, and she shouldn’t be expected to make accomodations that affect the entire class. (i.e. she can’t spend all her time making sure his needs are met at the expense of the rest of the class) The lecture went on to say that the teacher is a very sensitive person, and is taking this personally, my question was my son is a sensitive person, and his needs aren’t being met in the classroom, so what now? Again I got a blank stare.

Sitting here crying about it isn’t changing it, but I really don’t know what to do, short of hiring an attorney. And if that is the case, I don’t want to fight, I will homeschool. While he will get an education that meets his needs, he won’t have the social training others would get attending a school. (Private schools are out in this situation, as we have none nearby that will accept special education students)

Don’t feel that if you must homeschool, your child will be deprived of social opportunities. There are a number of ways to get him the social training you want him to have. There are church groups, national organizations that he could join. I’m told there are homeschooling organizations where homeschooling parents pool together and give their children a chance to socialize. I don’t have access to all the different ways he can have a chance to make friends, but homeschooling parents will be able to give you suggestions there.

Yours truly,
Kathy G.

> Sitting here crying about it isn’t changing it, but I really
> don’t know what to do, short of hiring an attorney. And if
> that is the case, I don’t want to fight, I will homeschool.
> While he will get an education that meets his needs, he won’t
> have the social training others would get attending a
> school. (Private schools are out in this situation, as we
> have none nearby that will accept special education students)

I also got a lecture how the teacher is NOT a trained special education teacher, just a regular ed teacher, and she
shouldn’t be expected to make accomodations that affect the entire class. (i.e. she can’t spend all her time making
sure his needs are met at the expense of the rest of the class) The lecture went on to say that the teacher is a very
sensitive person, and is taking this personally, my question was my son is a sensitive person, and his needs aren’t
being met in the classroom, so what now? Again I got a blank stare.

I am delighted that his teacher is such a sensitive person- but this is a crock and I am not sure that I would worry too much about how these people view my efforts to support my child. Your son has an IEP and this teacher was there helping to develop these accommodations yes? Regardless…The law is very strongly supportive of the fact that classroom teachers are just as obligated as Special Educators in providing accommodations. It is not necessary that this be a burden on the class- that issue is addressed in the IEP meeting where they are planned. She needs to get over it and you might need to call another IEP meeting to reinforce this. With a copy of the law in your hands. And a tape recorder. Cheez…

Or I guess you could homeschool if that really feels like a better choice. I personally could not do it- but many people do and are very happy with it- and would never go back to public schools. Post this over on the Parenting a Child with LD Board- you will recieve a lot of very helpful advice and support.

Robin

Hi everyone,

I too have had the same discussion last week at an IEP meeting with my 8 yr old’s teacher and IEP team. I am asking/insisting that he remain fully included and NOT go down the hall, out the door, and into the portable trailor for resource in math and language ever day. I am asking that the resource teacher come into his classroom and work directly with him, administer his tests, etc. She claims that she cannot do that because she has students in her classroom at all times and cannot leave them alone just to be with my son. Also, the reg. ed. teacher has no idea about making modifications. I was told by my IEP team ISET/meeting leader that the regular ed. teacher is being expected to act as a special ed. teacher, and that is not her job. I, of course, went nuts. I said that reg. and spec. ed. are to over lap, and it should be a team effort and that with the appropriate amount of support from the spec. ed. teacher, the reg. ed. teacher CAN do the modifications and there should not be a line drawn in the sand between reg. ed. and spec. ed. I am so incredibly frustrated and upset.
Is there actual law that states my above argument, reg. ed. and spec. ed. blending together?? I know that that is the intent, but is there something I can quote??

Trina

Hi - I am a special educator (23 years experience) so maybe I can help. There is a process called an FBA - It stands for functional behavioral analysis. It is a process of looking at a target behavior (melt down) and figuring out exactly what surroundings it happens in, what specifically triggers it, and basically what the exact cause or causes (their term is functions) of the behavior are..

It sounds like the CAPD coupled with the ADHD has significant implications for your son … This is a rather detailed analysis of a behavior with the express purpose of restructuring things so the behavior is controlled, BEFORE meltdown occurs. It alerts those working with him for signals or triggers or skills he may need to learn to prevent or divert or substitute behaviors. The whole idea of this process is to figure out what triggers the behavior and work on that end of things because consequences such as lecturing etc cannot change the behavior or teach your son how to overcome the situation that causes his meltdown… or frustration…etc. If for some reason these “consequences” do stop the crying or melting down, they will surely resurface again later because the cause is not dealt with or the consequewnces are yet another trigger for the frustration….. If not dealth with the trigger is just push back out of sight for awhile to fester inside of him - (not real great for an ADHA child…)

Your school’s psychologist should have information on doing an FBA and then creating a FBP (functional behavior plan or Strategic Plan) that dovetails with his IEP… If you would like more information, let me know and I will see what I can provide. Good luck - I like parents like you - you care!
Cheryl Busch

Trina - what state are you in?

Hi Cheryl,

YES!!!, somebody who actually understands what we mean when we say “meltdown” and “shutdown” and who acknowledges it. I have encountered so much resistance in trying to get my school pyschologist and social worker to help my son who has some of the the behaviors that Patty’s son is displaying. I’ve been told to seek an outside psychologist, which we did, but I am unsure how his therapy can possibly help the classroom atmosphere. If things are triggering him in the classroom and the teacher is unaware of what it is because these problems are being addressed outside of school in therapy how do we mesh the two? Would it be appropriate for the school to do the FBA or should I ask his pyschologist about this? I would really like to know what the triggers are because it would CERTAINLY help our homelife as well.