Needing help and not sure where to turn!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a special ed teacher in a school and or department works closely with admin and I have a long and positive relationship with staff. Last year a relatively new teacher to our school had issues with a child and parents that resulted in the child being suspended for a time, but later returning to school. The school admin was supportive of teacher,child and parents. The problem was that each of these parties wanted the other to follow a course of action that was not acceptable to them. Admin took on the role of mediator and was pblically supportive of the teacher. The result bring that trust broke down and soon the teacher needed to take some leave. Some of the teachers’ follow up conversations and actions about admin/individual teacher/parents have alienated some other members of staff and they are now not as sympathictic as they once were. The child is not returning to the school in the new year.
This teacher has always been a good teacher, but it is now on the personal level that myself and others feel uncomfortable and I am sure he with me and others. He has a history of similar issues at his previous school and tends to dwell on past “wrongs to him”. I do understand that the teacher may feel he has been let down because the admin did follow the course of action he wanted-total removal of the child from the school system, but there were other issues also involved-the rights of the child, this consequence certainly would have been too severe for the wrong, not wanting to give up on a child..
Previous attempts initiated by me and the teacher have only gone over and over the same points and no resolution is reached. The outcome is always” I was let down”, “I do not trust”, and the whole world is against me.
What to do and how to go about reestablishing a working partnership with this teacher so we can both work for the children in his class. Do I now approach this new school period and pretend that because previous efforts to discuss the issue have not been successful that it now just be ignored.
Any suggestions greatly appreciated.
Re: teacher/ special ed teacher witha troubled relationship
Yes he does a fellow mwmber of staff he is very friendly with. This person is also part of the admin team and someone I work very closely with. They have a long history of working together at other institutions and friends outside of work hours. This person has also been put into a “sticky” situation, but has shown by some of their actions/inactions that they are more onside with the teacher. This has also made the work situation difficult with other staff. Early on in this process we did discuss the situation, but as time moved on and it was obvious that we were seeing the original incident and follow up action in a different light we have come to a mutual decision not to discuss it.
I thank you for your response and agree that as time goes on we will all get on with the true business of why we are really there and that is to work with the students.
Eventually,
someone will have to moderate a meeting wherein everyone asks for what they need and someone facilitates a negotitation so that everyone gets something. I suggest sooner rather than later.
A difficult situation. Does this teacher have any close friends on the faculty? If so, perhaps you could approach them and seek their intercession. Clearly you are sincere in your desire to work this out.
If not, then I might be tempted to plunge on as if it didn’t happen. You’ve approach the teacher and he declines to bring closure to this through discussion with you. So be it. Sometimes we have to accept that.
It may or may not be that he proves difficult to work with now. Sometimes we do not forgive or forget but we do get back to work. Perhaps he will regardless of any negative feelings he may continue to harbor.
Good luck.