help me help my child

have you formally asked the child study team for an eval? you must do this in writing…(check out wrightslaw.com for tips on letter writing…)

have they responded?

Jane, yes I signed all the paperwork in October. We are still in the testing process. We are going to just get in under the 45 school day allowance.

Darcy,
I feel your frustration, it is incredibly hard for the parents you have not been predisposed to Learning Disabilities (me included), it is very overwhelming, and through it all you just want to hug and protect your child from any and all difficulties.

Your situation is not unlike mine with my son Micheal, who is now 11. He was tested at 8 years old, and until then was just considered by all teachers as a menace and lazy and a lost cause. I did not know our rights and did not know that if you ask for an assessment, they are bound to comply. Most learning disabilities present themselves when the children are expected to read and write, this is why they wait a few years, they want to get an accurate result.

Number one, please feel fortunate that your daughter is still quite young, the testing is so crucial for her to receive help. We all hate to label our children, however in the school system, they need specific identification in order to properly assess and help our children. The wait for my son was 1 year from application for testing, to IEP preparation and implementation.

Secondly, you are fortunate that the school your daughter attends seems willing to accomodate your daughter even without the identification, this is usually not the case.

Until your daughter receives her assessment and identification if needed, I would suggest that if possible you start to volunteer in your daughters class. Take down notes, and watch when she seems to be struggling, is it in certain areas or subjects, or accross the board. Is she ‘lost’ compared to the other students with instructions. Try to take a step back from being a parent and see how she copes on her own without help. This will go a long way when it comes time to prepare the IEP for your daughter (if needed) as you have the last word on the paperwork. You want to make sure you have all the information, so do your homework now.

When I was going through this long assessment period, I found a book at my local library, and although it is directed to Learning Disabiities, I found that it helped me with even understanding myself and our different learning styles, and how to deal with all children. And I found myself saying so many times, “Oh my god, that’s Micheal!” and “I never realised that, it makes so much sense.”
Of course, there are many books on the market, but this one was the one that explained Learning Disabilities to me in a clear and kind way, it is called.
Learning Disabilities from A to Z, by: Lisa Strick and Corrine Smith

http://www.comeunity.com/disability/learning_disability/atoz.html

If the teacher is able to, perhaps she or he can write the homework into your daughters book at the end of class, or at least check it before she leaves class.
My son receives hand-outs of long board work, as he is unable to correctly transfer from board to page as well. He loses his place, and skips lines, or spends so much time concentrating on the transferring that he cannot listen to the teachers instructions at the same time, and could not possible tell you what he has written after finishing because he was focused on the copying.

When doing homework, we clear the table, have good lighting, a drink and 0 expectations, he sets the pace. He chooses the work to start understanding that we will do it all. But at his pace.

I read the instructions with him, and ask him to explain what it means. He may understand the words, but won’t know how to apply it to the work. We do one or two together, and then I get him to do a couple. I check it over and if right, he continues. ( In the beginning we had many instances where he would get one or two right with me and then I would leave. He would finish the page and they would all be wrong.)
The teacher also takes a moment to number Micheals pages correctly so that he doesn’t miss a Part B, or if a question has 3 parts to it, she will mark each point with -’s on the pages so that he remembers. There are so many small, simply suggestions, and a lot of them will come to you if you are able to really “watch” your daughter in class. At home we tend to help in these areas without really noticing, in the school it is very different.

Good Luck,
Bonita

Darcy,

I dont know if you have checked out the whole LD online site, but I hadn’t, I was looking for a discussion group to join, and came across this one.
I was just checking through, and at the bottom of this page: if you click on indepth articles, and then LD in general there are some great articles and information on the identification and IEP guidelines for the US. I myself am from Canada, and we don’t have IDEA, however I wish we did.

Check it out.

Bonita

With this young a child I’d particularly suggest one on one help with homework. It will get less frustrating as she begins to experience some success with it. Be liberal with your help in the beginning and stick with it and her. (it takes time every evening to be sure) while remembering that many responsible adults have secretaries and administrative assistants. In this matter for a while, you’d be acting as a secretary or administrative assistant which is a very acceptable form of help in our society.

I’d also ask the teacher to provide a copy of the homework to her or to you given your daughter’s issue. (the teacher may or may not like this idea and I think it’s important that you get your daughter tested - I know of NO law that prevents testing before the third grade and I think they might be stretching the truth on that one)

Do the hardest homework first. Help her get things out of her backpack. Children these days are often a great deal of homework - more than young children can really handle or certainly organize. Do the easiest homework last and in this beginning, avoid perfectionism. The rule should be - getting it done and done with timely efficiency. Young children get understandably discouraged when homework takes up most of the evening.

I’d have my son dictate his work to me and I typed as he spoke. It saved time and paid off in the long run as well as in the short run. If she has a great deal of reading to do in the evening, I’d consider reading it outloud to her.

Children need to feel first that a task is even possible for them. Many children have been taught the hard lesson by experience that with homework they are doomed even before they start it. With one on one hands on help, that cycle can be broken and a child can start to feel that doing their homework efficiently is possible for them.

Good luck.

Sara:

Thank you for responding. I do help my daughter with homework on a one to one. I find it so difficult to keep her attention on task. I have asked the teacher to make sure she helps her get her homework home. It’s hit or miss. I have modified the homework (ie doing every other math example,cutting down the number of sentences she has to write.) Writing is a area that needs much attention. She is still making reversals and her handwriting is poor most of the time. I don’t correct the work so we can complete it and hand it in. I think the amount of work that is sent home is a little much, she is tired and has no more to give.

We are just about finished with testing and I was instramental in getting another teacher. As of next week there will be 18 kids in her class. I know this will be a tremendous help.
Thank you again ,
Darcy

It sounds like a definite ld and there is no law she can’t be dxed until 3rd grade. I’d suggest you report them to the DofED but they don’t care. What’s a little violation of the law?

At the risk of repeating myself, here are a few tricks you might suggest/insist on: Spelling tests should NOT be graded on all/nothing basis. 1 or 2 pts should be deducted for each letter missed. I’ve found this extremely effective. After a while using this method the children start getting 100%.

Can you imagine the frustration of getting 0 every week because you missed one letter on each word?

Try making lists of her words with certain letters missing. Vary the missing letters. Is there a pattern to the letters she can’t spell?

Example:

1.do_____

2.___at

3.____orse etc.

I hope that helps.

It is not to early to test your child but I recommend that you test her privately if possible, and then start teaching your daughter to read. The most conservatively program that I would start with is Phono-Graphix in the for of the book Reading Reflex. She may not be focusing because she can’t read her books. My daughter would have been diagnosed ADHD and reading disabled if the two labels would have existed then, she is 26, but what she was, was frustrated because she couldn’t read on grade level. Go get the book and email me privately and I will help you teach her.