IEP-banging my head against the desk.

PASSWORD>aafeBg5zoc926Sadly, it sounds like they are hoping to drug your kid into submission, as you call it. Our boy wasn’t a behavior issue, but the ld stuff had them all over reccomending meds. We simply insisted that we wanted to try different placement and programs before medicating him to fit into one of their’s. Ironically, I was the one that ended up taking meds for a while :)Good luck and follow your instincts.Andy: I recently attended an IEP meeting. My son has had problems with his
: behavior and they keep trying to talk us into medication. Like
: most parents we tried the Medication route(Ritalyn)and it was not
: something we saw any positive benifit from. It seems all the
: school board can do is keep trying to get us to find some
: medication that will help our son. Is there any way to get them to
: see that medication is not the key to all problems. They mentioned
: medication 5 times during the meeting. My son DOES have some
: behavior problems. But we don’t see a magic overnight cure and are
: working with him on his diffuculties. They have basically decided
: that my son is a bad apple and it’s affecting his own viewpoint
: about himself. Has anyone had a similar situation. I am having
: alot of fusteration with the school, they seem to want to drug my
: son into submission. Thanks Dean Jones

What kind of medical advice are you getting? Its sometimes hard to find a pediatrician with the right kind of training and experience to deal with behavior problems well, especially when HMOs hem in parents as to who they can consult. However, if your current pediatrician does not seem to have the time, interest or training to help you out, see if you can get a referral to a pediatric psychiatrist, pediatric psychologist, or developmental pediatrician who is specifically trained to deal with developmental behavior issues of childhood. Whether or not medication is a good choice is a medical decision not a school decision. The school needs to work with you on a structured behavior plan if it is decided that this is the route to go and you will need the backing of a professional and need to get it written into the IEP. Also just because Ritalin did not work, it does not mean that some medication may not have a role in some future comprehensive plan, but medication alone is never the answer. Good luck.

: It’s true that sometimes schools can only see one answer to the question of ADD/ADHD. It’s also true that some medications work better than others. Some students do experience almost the magic over night cure you mention and having seen this happen, schools can get very centered on medication as being the answer for every child.Medication is a parent’s choice. If you decline to make that choice, they can talk about it all they want. Let them talk a bit but then gently tell them medication is not an acceptable alternative to you. Explain your one trial on the Ritalin. Mention to them that some children are considered “non-responders” and if it helps, fib a little bit and tell them you’re certain from the trial on Ritalin that your child is a non-responder. (non-responders are those children with add/adhd who yet do not respond to medication and whose symptoms of add/adhd persist even while taking medication)Then move on to positive suggestions of what you will do in and out of school as parents and teachers.Understand that if they’re urging you to have your son on medication they may not regard your child as a “bad apple”. “Bad apples” usually aren’t urged to be put on medication but rather that’s a suggestion for a child they assume to be ADD/ADHD.ADD/ADHD are very hard problems to manage in the classroom. If there are classrooms with fewer students, that might be a better place for your son and certianly some teachers work better with ADD/ADHD children that do others. This school year is rapidly ending. Put your ear to the ground and figure out which of the available teachers you’d like to have your son for the coming year. Figure out if a seat in the front of the room is helpful to him. If medication does not help your son and his school can talk of nothing but medication, it will be up to you to make positive suggestions.There’s a good book called Educational Care by Mel Levine. It often has good suggestions that can be implemented in the classroom. Try reading that as it’s sadly unlikely your son’s school has.Good luck.I recently attended an IEP meeting. My son has had problems with his
: behavior and they keep trying to talk us into medication. Like
: most parents we tried the Medication route(Ritalyn)and it was not
: something we saw any positive benifit from. It seems all the
: school board can do is keep trying to get us to find some
: medication that will help our son. Is there any way to get them to
: see that medication is not the key to all problems. They mentioned
: medication 5 times during the meeting. My son DOES have some
: behavior problems. But we don’t see a magic overnight cure and are
: working with him on his diffuculties. They have basically decided
: that my son is a bad apple and it’s affecting his own viewpoint
: about himself. Has anyone had a similar situation. I am having
: alot of fusteration with the school, they seem to want to drug my
: son into submission. Thanks Dean Jones

Greetings Dean,As you already know, ritalin is not always the answer for all behavioral or ADD-type symptoms. The cause of your son’s behavior problems needs to be determined in order to provide appropriate treatment and intervention. According to Dr. Amen, author of Healing ADD, there are 6 types of ADD and in certain types, ritalin can actually make behavior worse. I just picked up this book at Barnes & Noble and it’s fascinating what he has discovered via SPECT scans. You can read much of what is contained in this book at his website (link below). He does list some anti-oxidants and supplements that he has found beneficial in treating some of his patients. His website also has an interactive questionnaire which can help identify problems and get further evaluation if needed.Blessings, momo

Ouch!Dean, you need to stop banging your head against the desk! It’s tough raising a “high maintenance kid” without being too hard on yourself (and sometimes the teachers and/or school) at the same time. Here are some things you might want to consider as you struggle with what will help your son:ADD/ADHD, and LDs do not go away. They must be managed. Children who develop inappropriate ways of coping so that they stand out from peers in the classroom are at greater risk of school failure and social isolation. If your child has had a trial of medication, there must have been some basis for it. Why was it prescribed, and by whom? Does your son have ADD or ADHD? What behaviors are of concern, and how often do they cause problems in the classroom? Is he getting a bad reputation with classmates and teachers? Is he going to school every day and having to be corrected, punished, or otherwise placed in a negative light relative to his peers?It is certainly true that the decision about whether or not to use medication is a family matter. At the same time, your son’s behavior may be much more of an impediment to his academic and social growth than you realize. How old is he? Medication may help your child to persist when the work becomes difficult and his anxiety level starts to rise…and the acting out begins. Working with a trusted professional to get your son the right counseling and/or medication is essential. You have no time to waste, as every day he goes to school and “messes up” is a day he is not learning and reaching his potential. Find out what he needs, and then see to it that he gets it. Remember, too, that medication trials do not mean you are agreeing to anything permanent. It may, however, be appropriate to take another look at what it could do for your child. Best wishes. JJ: I recently attended an IEP meeting. My son has had problems with his
: behavior and they keep trying to talk us into medication. Like
: most parents we tried the Medication route(Ritalyn)and it was not
: something we saw any positive benifit from. It seems all the
: school board can do is keep trying to get us to find some
: medication that will help our son. Is there any way to get them to
: see that medication is not the key to all problems. They mentioned
: medication 5 times during the meeting. My son DOES have some
: behavior problems. But we don’t see a magic overnight cure and are
: working with him on his diffuculties. They have basically decided
: that my son is a bad apple and it’s affecting his own viewpoint
: about himself. Has anyone had a similar situation. I am having
: alot of fusteration with the school, they seem to want to drug my
: son into submission. Thanks Dean Jones

Sara,Great suggestion about Dr. Mel Levine! Here’s a web address for those who would like to learn more about his work and about learning differences from an expert who is respected around the world:allkindsofminds.orgI will *TRY* to put it at the end of this post as well…but I make no guarantees. I do, after all, have NLD and sometimes computers confuse me. JJ: Medication is a parent’s choice. If you decline to make that choice,
: they can talk about it all they want. Let them talk a bit but then
: gently tell them medication is not an acceptable alternative to
: you. Explain your one trial on the Ritalin. Mention to them that
: some children are considered “non-responders” and if it
: helps, fib a little bit and tell them you’re certain from the
: trial on Ritalin that your child is a non-responder.
: (non-responders are those children with add/adhd who yet do not
: respond to medication and whose symptoms of add/adhd persist even
: while taking medication): Then move on to positive suggestions of what you will do in and out
: of school as parents and teachers.: Understand that if they’re urging you to have your son on medication
: they may not regard your child as a “bad apple”.
: “Bad apples” usually aren’t urged to be put on
: medication but rather that’s a suggestion for a child they assume
: to be ADD/ADHD.: ADD/ADHD are very hard problems to manage in the classroom. If there
: are classrooms with fewer students, that might be a better place
: for your son and certianly some teachers work better with ADD/ADHD
: children that do others. This school year is rapidly ending. Put
: your ear to the ground and figure out which of the available
: teachers you’d like to have your son for the coming year. Figure
: out if a seat in the front of the room is helpful to him. If
: medication does not help your son and his school can talk of
: nothing but medication, it will be up to you to make positive
: suggestions.: There’s a good book called Educational Care by Mel Levine. It often
: has good suggestions that can be implemented in the classroom. Try
: reading that as it’s sadly unlikely your son’s school has.: Good luck.: I recently attended an IEP meeting. My son has had problems with his

: I recently attended an IEP meeting. My son has had problems with his
: behavior and they keep trying to talk us into medication. Like
: most parents we tried the Medication route(Ritalyn)and it was not
: something we saw any positive benifit from. It seems all the
: school board can do is keep trying to get us to find some
: medication that will help our son. Is there any way to get them to
: see that medication is not the key to all problems. They mentioned
: medication 5 times during the meeting. My son DOES have some
: behavior problems. But we don’t see a magic overnight cure and are
: working with him on his diffuculties. They have basically decided
: that my son is a bad apple and it’s affecting his own viewpoint
: about himself. Has anyone had a similar situation. I am having
: alot of fusteration with the school, they seem to want to drug my
: son into submission. Thanks Dean JonesReply: You know your child better than anyone. Never allow anyone to make you doubt your gut feelings about what is best for your child. At the same time, educate yourself on the pros and cons of the issue at hand. The more information you have, the better you will feel about the decisions you make for your child. If you do decide to avoid any type of medication, make your decisions clear to the IEP team. You should make it clear that you are finished discussing medication for your son and you are ready to hear some other alternatives. You should also express that you are finished talking about your child’s undesirable behaviors in front of him and you expect the same from the school faculty. Your child needs more reinforcement for his good behavior and less attention given to his undesirable behavior. This should increase his acceptable behavior and self esteem as well as make it less desirable for him to exhibit the undesirable behaviors. I encourage you to be firm about your decisions, but caution you to be as polite as possible in doing so. Express that you have listened and considered their suggestions for your son involving medication and you appreciate their time and input, but you do not feel that that is the best option for your child at the time. This will keep the lines of communication open between yourself and your childs teacher and other IEP team members. You will get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar. Good Luck