Asperers - Now What?

There is a list for parent of children who are gifted and have special needs. There are parents on the list who have children with the same profile as your child. I linked the site below. The list is gt-special.Helen

: We learned my son (8 yrs, 3rd grade) has mild Aspergers. My question
: is what do I do now? I want to go to the school (I believe they
: are seeing him as a disipline problem, I am told he “won’t
: participate in class, only on his terms” or “at times is
: defient” or “won’t participate in group activity”.
: He is not performing in the classroom what his IQ and performance
: scores say he should (WISC was 134 verbal, 123 performance, and
: 131 overall). He gets anywhere from B-in English, penmanship and
: effort. Spelling and math are A’s.: I am more concerned with the social end of it, he does not “fit
: in” that easily. The doctor says he has alot of anxiety —
: and at 8 years of age I don’t think this is good. He also has
: vocal tics that he started medicine for last night. This medicine
: is suppose to help his with impluses also (takes 6 to 8 weeks to
: have full effect for both of those issues). I believe that maybe
: if we can get his self-esteem up maybe his grades will follow, who
: knows, right now like I said I am more concerned about him - not
: his grades.: Are there any teachers or parents out there that can give me some
: advise about where I should go with this and what I should do. I
: am reading and reading and reading but I just don’t know where to
: start with the school and what help to ask for.: At last CSE meeting they “shut the door” because his scores
: were high and his achievement test scores were good too (reading
: 95%, math 97% and language 80%), so in their eyes there is no
: problem.: As any parent, I just want my child happy and to reach his full
: potential.: Any thoughts? Sorry this is long. Thank you.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am a special education major and I have a part time job working with a child with apergers. There just isn’t a whole lot of information known about this and what information is known seems to be hard to find. From what I know about aspergers, most of these kids are high functioning therfore, they will score high on certain tests, but whose to say that your child does not need help. Test scores to not reflect everything and as a parent you need to fight for your child. I am working with a three year old child and what seems to be working with her is a type of applied behavioral analysis. This program is from the Wisconsin Early Autism Project and ran by a group of people, including: her parents, therapists, and teachers. It consists of many extra hours per week in order for her to learn how to fit in and get along with others. Ideally, she will be “ready” for kindergarten on time because of this intensive program. You may want to look at the Wisconsin Early Autism Project web site in order to get information to help with your son. Just make sure to let your child know that this is not his fault and that we all have difficulties that we have to overcome. Don’t let school administrators push you around. Your child has rights even though his test scores may be high. Go to your local board of education and ask for help. If you have legal concerns go to http://www.ed.gov.pubs/edpubs.html and request a free copy of the Federal Register, March 1999. I hope some of this information helps. Parents are their childs biggest advocate so don’t give up!!!

: We learned my son (8 yrs, 3rd grade) has mild Aspergers.Who made this determination? Did they use DSM-IV criteria for this?My question
: is what do I do now? I want to go to the school (I believe they
: are seeing him as a disipline problem, I am told he “won’t
: participate in class, only on his terms” or “at times is
: defient” or “won’t participate in group activity”.
: He is not performing in the classroom what his IQ and performance
: scores say he should (WISC was 134 verbal, 123 performance, and
: 131 overall). He gets anywhere from B-in English, penmanship and
: effort. Spelling and math are A’s.First of all, you need to understand exactly what Asperger’s is. Many believe it is a very high functioning form of autism, and as such must be viewed along the same lines. While there is much commonality in this placing of Asperger’s on the Spectrum, there are also subtle differences that make working with Asperger’s a little different. Itis very typical of Aspies to be of superior intelligence, often in the genius range. Indeed, Aspie children are often refered to as “little professors” for their ability to talk at great lengths on very complex topics for a child of their age.Despite their gifts in high iq, the very nature of Asperger’s limiting factors, most notably communication problems, difficulty in working with abstract concepts, and most obviously poor social interaction skills make it difficult for Aspies to fit into general society. In your quotes above (and I assume these are from the school staff) you need to reword them. As they stand they are not accurate in the least when used to describe a child with AS. So “won’t participate in class” needs to be changed to “can’t fully participate in class”. “only on his terms” needs to be changed to “has displayed tendancies to perseverate”, or “has demonstrated obsessive qualities”. “at times is defient” needs to be changed to “has shown mild ODD” or again “becomes fixated on an activity or topic”. And finally, “won’t participate in group activity” is copmpletely wrong, and has to be made into “has difficulty interacting with peers in common group activities”.Do you see the difference here? What the schools are trying to do is say your child, (and I will assume in this discourse that the dx of Asperger’s is correct) who is obviously too intelligent to be a special ed student (and thus protecxted by ADA and IDEA) is doing these things intentionally. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Asperger’s comes with very strong problems with social interaction and communciation, and cannot be allowed to be brushed aside because the child is able to do well in core academics. I wonder how well trained your district personnel really are if this is what they view Asperger’s to be like.: I am more concerned with the social end of it, he does not “fit
: in” that easily.I am going to say something now that will be rather hard to take, but it is more often true than not. If your child truly is Asperger’s, the chances are extremely great he will never fit in easily at all. This does not mean that he will be crippled from his isolationary tendancies, or that he cannot achieve satisfaction in his life. But he will probably never fit in, he will be subject to torment and ridicule by a great number of his peers, who will envy and hate him for his intelligence, and mock hhim for his clumsiness.there is no easy way to either overcome this or avoid it. You can not shelter him from the world unless you keep him home for the rest of his life. He will need a great deal of support, psychological and emotional to deal with the bullies in the NT (neurologically typical) world. Humans are extremely predatory by nature, and it is always much easier to destroy than to build. There will always be those individuals who feel the best way to make themselves feel better about their own miserable selves is by verbally, emotionally, psychologically and physically abusing those who are odd, different or seen as weak. you need to understand this if you are to help your son avoid the worst of it, and you need to start by seeing to it that his teachers, counselors and other adults he will be in the care of also undertand fully what it means to be Asperger’s.The doctor says he has alot of anxiety —
: and at 8 years of age I don’t think this is good.No he doesn’t have anxiety. Anxieties are unwarranted and often irrational fears and concerns which override our ability to function easily as a whole person. Your boy has Asperger’s.He also has vocal ticsAre you sure these are tics and not verbal stims? There is a difference between the two. Tics are small misfirings in the neurons which lead to involuntary muscle spasms, or as in the case of Tourette’s Syndrome, short verbal outbursts (often profane). Stims on the other hand are more deliberate actions or sounds that the body uses to release the build up of stress induced pressure. These can be words and phrases, repeated over and over, or noises. They come from the build of of stress from the social interaction problems, from the person’s own self awareness of their “inferiorities and limitations” and most of all from overload of sensory input entering their hypersensitive mind. Tics can be medicated using carefully controlled doses of the right chemical. Stims should never be medicated, because to force a child who stims to stop is to guarantee that the pressure the stims release will build up until the child has a meltdown.And afterall, why should the child be forced to stop stiumming? The stims do not hurt the child. What they do is bother those of us around the child who do not understand what a stim is. So we want to force the child to give up what is essence a good coping mechanism because we don’t like it. This is plainly wrong.It is possible, however, using patience, understanding and gentle teaching to help the child turn a very obvious (and sontimes disturbing) stim into one that is much more palatable. So a child who flaps their hands can be taught to tap them more unobtrusively on their thighs. A child who has strong (and loud) verbal stims can be taught to quietly hum. A child who spins can be taught to gently rock. They still have their pressure valve, but now we do not see it as a problem. And after all, many, many people stim who are not autistic and we do not force them to stop.that he started medicine for last night. This medicine
: is suppose to help his with impluses also (takes 6 to 8 weeks to
: have full effect for both of those issues).I am going to say something here that is also very important. I am not a doctor or a psychologist. I also do not have a vested interest in lifetime chemical dependance fostered by the large drug companies (for-profit ventures). But what I do have is 2 years worth of communication with adults who are “on the Spectrum”. I have yet to meet one who said anything close to resembling “that medication sure did help”. What I have been told over and again by dozens of people who have firsthand knowledge of being put on dope (Ritalin, Adderall, Prozac, Paxil, Risperdal) is that not only did it NOT ease their fears, it also acted to shut them down. Sure they no longer figited. They also were put in a sort of disassociated state. They no longer “daydreamed” because theywere no longer thinking freely.Medicating a young child is not something which should be done without thoroughly evaluating the consequences. You need to be aware that Risperdal (an anti psychotic medication) actually INDUCES psychotic episodes in upwards of 20% of the patients who take it. You need to know that Adderall has more than occasionally INCREASED the amount of aggression displayed by children who take it. You need to know that neither Prozac nor Paxil has been tested for use in minors or cleared by the FDA for its use (Eli Lilly, maker of Prozac went on public record in the spring of ‘99 stating they (Lilly) have never sought licensing for Prozac’s use in people younger than 18).The use of psychotropics in children is done not be testing for imbalance or from extended period of observation, but by trial and error. meanwhile, imprecise dosage and incorrect medication can create a host of problems that never existed before, can create dependancies upon these or other corrective chemicals and have actually been demonstrated to alter the neural net in the brain.I believe that maybe
: if we can get his self-esteem up maybe his grades will follow, who
: knows, right now like I said I am more concerned about him - not
: his grades.In order to get his self esteem up you will need to ensure that the environment he is in is one of acceptance and not intolerance. A very simple truth that is so very hard for many people to grasp is: there is nothing wrong with being Asperger’s (or autistic or mentally retarded or blind or deaf). The child with Asperger’s is still a child, human with the same basic right to dignity and respect as any other child. They become handicapped not by their Asperger’s, but by the reaction of those of us around them who refusse to allow others not to fit into the same round hole that they do. I have several close friends who are autistic or Asperger’s that I have met on the Net, and I have found them to be delightful company, intriguing in their unique approach to life, heroic in their surviving against incredible amounts of abuse, and most importantly, everybit as human (and indeed MORE SO) as any person I have met who is NT.: Are there any teachers or parents out there that can give me some
: advise about where I should go with this and what I should do. I
: am reading and reading and reading but I just don’t know where to
: start with the school and what help to ask for.: At last CSE meeting they “shut the door” because his scores
: were high and his achievement test scores were good too (reading
: 95%, math 97% and language 80%), so in their eyes there is no
: problem.This is entirely false, and is either ignorance on the part of the school personnel, or (and don’t say this doesn’t happen) an attempt to reduce caseload and cheat a child with specific needs out of their share of accomodations and allowances. Asperger’s is specificaaly named in the ammendment’s to IDEA, and a competent diagnosis of this is all that is needed to open the door to the IEP process.Would the schools also deny accomodations to a blind child because they were a B student? Or a deaf child? Or a child in a wheel chair? Just because the school does not obviously see the disability, or doesn’t understand it does not mean the child does not have extraordinary needs.I am going to suggest that you continue to educate yourself about Asperger’s as well as the laws surrounding special education servces.Here is a very good link to start with:http://www.marshall.edu/coe/atc/resourcelist.htmlI am also going to suggest you read a book by an adult with Asperger’s that will give you a chance to view life from within the child with this syndrom. It is titled “A Martian on the Playground” by Clair Sainsbury, and it is an award-winning account of being the “weirdo” growing up.: As any parent, I just want my child happy and to reach his full
: potential.: Any thoughts? Sorry this is long. Thank you.Never appologise for wanting to help your child maximize. Never back down or give in when the bullies want to cheat him out of his legal (and fully upheld by the Courts) rights to special education serivces and accomodations.And most importantly, never, ever give up on your child.

These are the best sites I know of, for learning about Asperger Syndrome. I hope something here helps you.OASIS http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/index.htmlMore information about autism & Asperger than any one person can ever know http://www.isn.net/%7ejypsy/A subsection of this site, scroll down the bar on left http://www.bbbautism.com/The book Dad referred to http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1873942087/qid%3D984102539/026-6636655-6558043

Perhaps the best advice you will ever receive is what “DAD” wrote to you. I would also add that his school obviously needs some education on Asperger’s and you are exactly the right person to spearhead that by telling them that you understand their lack of information, because you, too, are trying to learn what to expect,how to deal with it, etc. It is entirely possible that your school has had an Asperger’s child before, but he or she had just never been diagnosed. Remember, this is a very new recognition of a very old syndrome.We have had the opportunity to work with a couple and they are a challenge, intriguing and very interesting! Good Luck!

Dana,I just wanted to thank you for the sites you listed. They are different from the ones I have looked at already. I have spent well over 4 hours today “clicking” and reading through them — and I still have so much more info to gather from them. THANK YOU!!!

Dad,wow,what an awsome post. I have something to share. My boys ,who do not have aspergers,go to a school in which ,my oldest son,has two very good friends who happened to have asperger’s. I holeheartedly agree with your post,in regards to the complex symptoms and the social skill problem. I had to write this,weird too,because as I am reading this,my oldest son is telling me about the board game one of his friends and he made. His friend has a obsessive or obsession with hmm,not sure what,I guess space ships,or mechanical robots. He draws them all day,on and off. They are so cool!! Very detailed with pen,very good. Fortunately for him,his school is a very small school,specificly for children with LD’s,and his teacher learned a while ago,that he will still produce ,if allowed to draw,also. This kid also did an outstanding job as the “Judge” in the play the school just did! My sons other friend,well ,he has a great interest in the very same thing my son is obssessed over, Dragon Ball Z. Okay,more than an interest. The point is these kids are doing well,but then again they have this school. you might check out private schools?: Who made this determination? Did they use DSM-IV criteria for this?: My question: First of all, you need to understand exactly what Asperger’s is. Many
: believe it is a very high functioning form of autism, and as such
: must be viewed along the same lines. While there is much
: commonality in this placing of Asperger’s on the Spectrum, there
: are also subtle differences that make working with Asperger’s a
: little different. Itis very typical of Aspies to be of superior
: intelligence, often in the genius range. Indeed, Aspie children
: are often refered to as “little professors” for their
: ability to talk at great lengths on very complex topics for a
: child of their age.: Despite their gifts in high iq, the very nature of Asperger’s
: limiting factors, most notably communication problems, difficulty
: in working with abstract concepts, and most obviously poor social
: interaction skills make it difficult for Aspies to fit into
: general society. In your quotes above (and I assume these are from
: the school staff) you need to reword them. As they stand they are
: not accurate in the least when used to describe a child with AS.
: So “won’t participate in class” needs to be changed to
: “can’t fully participate in class”. “only on his
: terms” needs to be changed to “has displayed tendancies
: to perseverate”, or “has demonstrated obsessive
: qualities”. “at times is defient” needs to be
: changed to “has shown mild ODD” or again “becomes
: fixated on an activity or topic”. And finally, “won’t
: participate in group activity” is copmpletely wrong, and has
: to be made into “has difficulty interacting with peers in
: common group activities”.: Do you see the difference here? What the schools are trying to do is
: say your child, (and I will assume in this discourse that the dx
: of Asperger’s is correct) who is obviously too intelligent to be a
: special ed student (and thus protecxted by ADA and IDEA) is doing
: these things intentionally. Nothing could be farther from the
: truth. Asperger’s comes with very strong problems with social
: interaction and communciation, and cannot be allowed to be brushed
: aside because the child is able to do well in core academics. I
: wonder how well trained your district personnel really are if this
: is what they view Asperger’s to be like.: I am going to say something now that will be rather hard to take, but
: it is more often true than not. If your child truly is Asperger’s,
: the chances are extremely great he will never fit in easily at
: all. This does not mean that he will be crippled from his
: isolationary tendancies, or that he cannot achieve satisfaction in
: his life. But he will probably never fit in, he will be subject to
: torment and ridicule by a great number of his peers, who will envy
: and hate him for his intelligence, and mock hhim for his
: clumsiness.: there is no easy way to either overcome this or avoid it. You can not
: shelter him from the world unless you keep him home for the rest
: of his life. He will need a great deal of support, psychological
: and emotional to deal with the bullies in the NT (neurologically
: typical) world. Humans are extremely predatory by nature, and it
: is always much easier to destroy than to build. There will always
: be those individuals who feel the best way to make themselves feel
: better about their own miserable selves is by verbally,
: emotionally, psychologically and physically abusing those who are
: odd, different or seen as weak. you need to understand this if you
: are to help your son avoid the worst of it, and you need to start
: by seeing to it that his teachers, counselors and other adults he
: will be in the care of also undertand fully what it means to be
: Asperger’s.: The doctor says he has alot of anxiety —: No he doesn’t have anxiety. Anxieties are unwarranted and often
: irrational fears and concerns which override our ability to
: function easily as a whole person. Your boy has Asperger’s.: He also has vocal tics: Are you sure these are tics and not verbal stims? There is a
: difference between the two. Tics are small misfirings in the
: neurons which lead to involuntary muscle spasms, or as in the case
: of Tourette’s Syndrome, short verbal outbursts (often profane).
: Stims on the other hand are more deliberate actions or sounds that
: the body uses to release the build up of stress induced pressure.
: These can be words and phrases, repeated over and over, or noises.
: They come from the build of of stress from the social interaction
: problems, from the person’s own self awareness of their
: “inferiorities and limitations” and most of all from
: overload of sensory input entering their hypersensitive mind. Tics
: can be medicated using carefully controlled doses of the right
: chemical. Stims should never be medicated, because to force a
: child who stims to stop is to guarantee that the pressure the
: stims release will build up until the child has a meltdown.: And afterall, why should the child be forced to stop stiumming? The
: stims do not hurt the child. What they do is bother those of us
: around the child who do not understand what a stim is. So we want
: to force the child to give up what is essence a good coping
: mechanism because we don’t like it. This is plainly wrong.: It is possible, however, using patience, understanding and gentle
: teaching to help the child turn a very obvious (and sontimes
: disturbing) stim into one that is much more palatable. So a child
: who flaps their hands can be taught to tap them more unobtrusively
: on their thighs. A child who has strong (and loud) verbal stims
: can be taught to quietly hum. A child who spins can be taught to
: gently rock. They still have their pressure valve, but now we do
: not see it as a problem. And after all, many, many people stim who
: are not autistic and we do not force them to stop.: that he started medicine for last night. This medicine: I am going to say something here that is also very important. I am
: not a doctor or a psychologist. I also do not have a vested
: interest in lifetime chemical dependance fostered by the large
: drug companies (for-profit ventures). But what I do have is 2
: years worth of communication with adults who are “on the
: Spectrum”. I have yet to meet one who said anything close to
: resembling “that medication sure did help”. What I have
: been told over and again by dozens of people who have firsthand
: knowledge of being put on dope (Ritalin, Adderall, Prozac, Paxil,
: Risperdal) is that not only did it NOT ease their fears, it also
: acted to shut them down. Sure they no longer figited. They also
: were put in a sort of disassociated state. They no longer
: “daydreamed” because theywere no longer thinking freely.: Medicating a young child is not something which should be done
: without thoroughly evaluating the consequences. You need to be
: aware that Risperdal (an anti psychotic medication) actually
: INDUCES psychotic episodes in upwards of 20% of the patients who
: take it. You need to know that Adderall has more than occasionally
: INCREASED the amount of aggression displayed by children who take
: it. You need to know that neither Prozac nor Paxil has been tested
: for use in minors or cleared by the FDA for its use (Eli Lilly,
: maker of Prozac went on public record in the spring of ‘99 stating
: they (Lilly) have never sought licensing for Prozac’s use in
: people younger than 18).: The use of psychotropics in children is done not be testing for
: imbalance or from extended period of observation, but by trial and
: error. meanwhile, imprecise dosage and incorrect medication can
: create a host of problems that never existed before, can create
: dependancies upon these or other corrective chemicals and have
: actually been demonstrated to alter the neural net in the brain.: I believe that maybe: In order to get his self esteem up you will need to ensure that the
: environment he is in is one of acceptance and not intolerance. A
: very simple truth that is so very hard for many people to grasp
: is: there is nothing wrong with being Asperger’s (or autistic or
: mentally retarded or blind or deaf). The child with Asperger’s is
: still a child, human with the same basic right to dignity and
: respect as any other child. They become handicapped not by their
: Asperger’s, but by the reaction of those of us around them who
: refusse to allow others not to fit into the same round hole that
: they do. I have several close friends who are autistic or
: Asperger’s that I have met on the Net, and I have found them to be
: delightful company, intriguing in their unique approach to life,
: heroic in their surviving against incredible amounts of abuse, and
: most importantly, everybit as human (and indeed MORE SO) as any
: person I have met who is NT.: This is entirely false, and is either ignorance on the part of the
: school personnel, or (and don’t say this doesn’t happen) an
: attempt to reduce caseload and cheat a child with specific needs
: out of their share of accomodations and allowances. Asperger’s is
: specificaaly named in the ammendment’s to IDEA, and a competent
: diagnosis of this is all that is needed to open the door to the
: IEP process.: Would the schools also deny accomodations to a blind child because
: they were a B student? Or a deaf child? Or a child in a wheel
: chair? Just because the school does not obviously see the
: disability, or doesn’t understand it does not mean the child does
: not have extraordinary needs.: I am going to suggest that you continue to educate yourself about
: Asperger’s as well as the laws surrounding special education
: servces.: Here is a very good link to start with:
: http://www.marshall.edu/coe/atc/resourcelist.html: I am also going to suggest you read a book by an adult with
: Asperger’s that will give you a chance to view life from within
: the child with this syndrom. It is titled “A Martian on the
: Playground” by Clair Sainsbury, and it is an award-winning
: account of being the “weirdo” growing up.: Never appologise for wanting to help your child maximize. Never back
: down or give in when the bullies want to cheat him out of his
: legal (and fully upheld by the Courts) rights to special education
: serivces and accomodations.: And most importantly, never, ever give up on your child.

DAD: Could I quote you on a bulletin board at another site (www.dyslexia.com) re your excellent definition of the difference between “tics” and “stims”?We have had “stims” in our family for several generations, tho they were labeled “habits” by a doctor’s diagnosis in my generation — thanks for the official name. It is much easier to tell a teacher to “butt out” when I have official jargon to use, not to mention such a succinct definition. My family experience bears out your explanation — and the stims are NOT related to the LD other than from the extra burden of anxiety it generates, IMO!(Apologies to the many great teachers out there — but by virtue of the sheer volume/variety you see, and the scarce resources you are given, it is an understandable error to attribute similar behaviours to the WRONG cause! (People often think “tourettes” but, having had a child with Tourettes in my “Beaver” (scout) group, trust me — stims in a schoolager are NOT anything like the early manifestation of tourettes, as Dad explained so well.): Who made this determination? Did they use DSM-IV criteria for this?: My question: First of all, you need to understand exactly what Asperger’s is. Many
: believe it is a very high functioning form of autism, and as such
: must be viewed along the same lines. While there is much
: commonality in this placing of Asperger’s on the Spectrum, there
: are also subtle differences that make working with Asperger’s a
: little different. Itis very typical of Aspies to be of superior
: intelligence, often in the genius range. Indeed, Aspie children
: are often refered to as “little professors” for their
: ability to talk at great lengths on very complex topics for a
: child of their age.: Despite their gifts in high iq, the very nature of Asperger’s
: limiting factors, most notably communication problems, difficulty
: in working with abstract concepts, and most obviously poor social
: interaction skills make it difficult for Aspies to fit into
: general society. In your quotes above (and I assume these are from
: the school staff) you need to reword them. As they stand they are
: not accurate in the least when used to describe a child with AS.
: So “won’t participate in class” needs to be changed to
: “can’t fully participate in class”. “only on his
: terms” needs to be changed to “has displayed tendancies
: to perseverate”, or “has demonstrated obsessive
: qualities”. “at times is defient” needs to be
: changed to “has shown mild ODD” or again “becomes
: fixated on an activity or topic”. And finally, “won’t
: participate in group activity” is copmpletely wrong, and has
: to be made into “has difficulty interacting with peers in
: common group activities”.: Do you see the difference here? What the schools are trying to do is
: say your child, (and I will assume in this discourse that the dx
: of Asperger’s is correct) who is obviously too intelligent to be a
: special ed student (and thus protecxted by ADA and IDEA) is doing
: these things intentionally. Nothing could be farther from the
: truth. Asperger’s comes with very strong problems with social
: interaction and communciation, and cannot be allowed to be brushed
: aside because the child is able to do well in core academics. I
: wonder how well trained your district personnel really are if this
: is what they view Asperger’s to be like.: I am going to say something now that will be rather hard to take, but
: it is more often true than not. If your child truly is Asperger’s,
: the chances are extremely great he will never fit in easily at
: all. This does not mean that he will be crippled from his
: isolationary tendancies, or that he cannot achieve satisfaction in
: his life. But he will probably never fit in, he will be subject to
: torment and ridicule by a great number of his peers, who will envy
: and hate him for his intelligence, and mock hhim for his
: clumsiness.: there is no easy way to either overcome this or avoid it. You can not
: shelter him from the world unless you keep him home for the rest
: of his life. He will need a great deal of support, psychological
: and emotional to deal with the bullies in the NT (neurologically
: typical) world. Humans are extremely predatory by nature, and it
: is always much easier to destroy than to build. There will always
: be those individuals who feel the best way to make themselves feel
: better about their own miserable selves is by verbally,
: emotionally, psychologically and physically abusing those who are
: odd, different or seen as weak. you need to understand this if you
: are to help your son avoid the worst of it, and you need to start
: by seeing to it that his teachers, counselors and other adults he
: will be in the care of also undertand fully what it means to be
: Asperger’s.: The doctor says he has alot of anxiety —: No he doesn’t have anxiety. Anxieties are unwarranted and often
: irrational fears and concerns which override our ability to
: function easily as a whole person. Your boy has Asperger’s.: He also has vocal tics: Are you sure these are tics and not verbal stims? There is a
: difference between the two. Tics are small misfirings in the
: neurons which lead to involuntary muscle spasms, or as in the case
: of Tourette’s Syndrome, short verbal outbursts (often profane).
: Stims on the other hand are more deliberate actions or sounds that
: the body uses to release the build up of stress induced pressure.
: These can be words and phrases, repeated over and over, or noises.
: They come from the build of of stress from the social interaction
: problems, from the person’s own self awareness of their
: “inferiorities and limitations” and most of all from
: overload of sensory input entering their hypersensitive mind. Tics
: can be medicated using carefully controlled doses of the right
: chemical. Stims should never be medicated, because to force a
: child who stims to stop is to guarantee that the pressure the
: stims release will build up until the child has a meltdown.: And afterall, why should the child be forced to stop stiumming? The
: stims do not hurt the child. What they do is bother those of us
: around the child who do not understand what a stim is. So we want
: to force the child to give up what is essence a good coping
: mechanism because we don’t like it. This is plainly wrong.: It is possible, however, using patience, understanding and gentle
: teaching to help the child turn a very obvious (and sontimes
: disturbing) stim into one that is much more palatable. So a child
: who flaps their hands can be taught to tap them more unobtrusively
: on their thighs. A child who has strong (and loud) verbal stims
: can be taught to quietly hum. A child who spins can be taught to
: gently rock. They still have their pressure valve, but now we do
: not see it as a problem. And after all, many, many people stim who
: are not autistic and we do not force them to stop.: that he started medicine for last night. This medicine: I am going to say something here that is also very important. I am
: not a doctor or a psychologist. I also do not have a vested
: interest in lifetime chemical dependance fostered by the large
: drug companies (for-profit ventures). But what I do have is 2
: years worth of communication with adults who are “on the
: Spectrum”. I have yet to meet one who said anything close to
: resembling “that medication sure did help”. What I have
: been told over and again by dozens of people who have firsthand
: knowledge of being put on dope (Ritalin, Adderall, Prozac, Paxil,
: Risperdal) is that not only did it NOT ease their fears, it also
: acted to shut them down. Sure they no longer figited. They also
: were put in a sort of disassociated state. They no longer
: “daydreamed” because theywere no longer thinking freely.: Medicating a young child is not something which should be done
: without thoroughly evaluating the consequences. You need to be
: aware that Risperdal (an anti psychotic medication) actually
: INDUCES psychotic episodes in upwards of 20% of the patients who
: take it. You need to know that Adderall has more than occasionally
: INCREASED the amount of aggression displayed by children who take
: it. You need to know that neither Prozac nor Paxil has been tested
: for use in minors or cleared by the FDA for its use (Eli Lilly,
: maker of Prozac went on public record in the spring of ‘99 stating
: they (Lilly) have never sought licensing for Prozac’s use in
: people younger than 18).: The use of psychotropics in children is done not be testing for
: imbalance or from extended period of observation, but by trial and
: error. meanwhile, imprecise dosage and incorrect medication can
: create a host of problems that never existed before, can create
: dependancies upon these or other corrective chemicals and have
: actually been demonstrated to alter the neural net in the brain.: I believe that maybe: In order to get his self esteem up you will need to ensure that the
: environment he is in is one of acceptance and not intolerance. A
: very simple truth that is so very hard for many people to grasp
: is: there is nothing wrong with being Asperger’s (or autistic or
: mentally retarded or blind or deaf). The child with Asperger’s is
: still a child, human with the same basic right to dignity and
: respect as any other child. They become handicapped not by their
: Asperger’s, but by the reaction of those of us around them who
: refusse to allow others not to fit into the same round hole that
: they do. I have several close friends who are autistic or
: Asperger’s that I have met on the Net, and I have found them to be
: delightful company, intriguing in their unique approach to life,
: heroic in their surviving against incredible amounts of abuse, and
: most importantly, everybit as human (and indeed MORE SO) as any
: person I have met who is NT.: This is entirely false, and is either ignorance on the part of the
: school personnel, or (and don’t say this doesn’t happen) an
: attempt to reduce caseload and cheat a child with specific needs
: out of their share of accomodations and allowances. Asperger’s is
: specificaaly named in the ammendment’s to IDEA, and a competent
: diagnosis of this is all that is needed to open the door to the
: IEP process.: Would the schools also deny accomodations to a blind child because
: they were a B student? Or a deaf child? Or a child in a wheel
: chair? Just because the school does not obviously see the
: disability, or doesn’t understand it does not mean the child does
: not have extraordinary needs.: I am going to suggest that you continue to educate yourself about
: Asperger’s as well as the laws surrounding special education
: servces.: Here is a very good link to start with:
: http://www.marshall.edu/coe/atc/resourcelist.html: I am also going to suggest you read a book by an adult with
: Asperger’s that will give you a chance to view life from within
: the child with this syndrom. It is titled “A Martian on the
: Playground” by Clair Sainsbury, and it is an award-winning
: account of being the “weirdo” growing up.: Never appologise for wanting to help your child maximize. Never back
: down or give in when the bullies want to cheat him out of his
: legal (and fully upheld by the Courts) rights to special education
: serivces and accomodations.: And most importantly, never, ever give up on your child.

I am not sure that some people (and usually the ones who need to be reached the most) will accept any information or advice from an anonymous poster on an anonymous message board. Of course, I do choose to learn by keeping eyes, ears and mind open, and by inquiring with those in the greatest position to know about the topics I am curious about, which is seldom those inhabitants of the ivory towers who sit and think their inflated and presumptous theories.As I have passed on the ideas I have learned, by all means feel free to pass on what you see as being relevant. In the end the truth shall be seen for it’s own merits, and tho those of us who repeat it shall fade, still the truth shall remain.And I understand full well when you say you have family who stims. There are a great many more people stimming than most would realize (I am a tapper), and there is no shame to it really. Those who feel so uncomfortable with it that they would choose to stop it are the ones with the real problem, not the children or adults who flap or rock or tap or hum. Think how very boring this world would be if we all looked and sounded and acted exactly the same!: DAD: Could I quote you on a bulletin board at another site
: (www.dyslexia.com) re your excellent definition of the difference
: between “tics” and “stims”?: We have had “stims” in our family for several generations,
: tho they were labeled “habits” by a doctor’s diagnosis
: in my generation — thanks for the official name. It is much
: easier to tell a teacher to “butt out” when I have
: official jargon to use, not to mention such a succinct definition.
: My family experience bears out your explanation — and the stims
: are NOT related to the LD other than from the extra burden of
: anxiety it generates, IMO!: (Apologies to the many great teachers out there — but by virtue of
: the sheer volume/variety you see, and the scarce resources you are
: given, it is an understandable error to attribute similar
: behaviours to the WRONG cause! (People often think
: “tourettes” but, having had a child with Tourettes in my
: “Beaver” (scout) group, trust me — stims in a
: schoolager are NOT anything like the early manifestation of
: tourettes, as Dad explained so well.)