futures

I suggest you read “Nobody, Nowhere” by Donna Williams. It will not only inspire you, but will give you the hope and drive you need to keep on keeping on. By the way, the author Donna Williams is autisitc. Best Wishes, Sharon G.

I think at least some of the skills that learning different kids are found to be deficient in are not necessarily real life skills. As those that are real life skills such as reading and writing can be more easily “gotten around” in real life than in school. Life isn’t sitting in long straight rows writing essays. It’s doing a job. What does your son like to do? There are many jobs out there even if one has to start at the bottom and work up.

There have been people with learning differences who achieved great things. Thomas Edison is classically regarded as having had significant learning differences. Charles Schwab, who sponsors this site, is a person with learning differences went on to head up a major brokerage house.

I think it is a great wrong that schools perpetuate upon children and their families when schools convince kids and parents that success in school is a predictor for success in life. No child should be made to feel a failure when they are so young. That sense of failure can carry over into life.

We all develop in different ways and at different paces. We all have gifts and talents along with our “soft spots”. School creates the need for us to be the same when nature makes us all different.

If your son can keep a good self image through the challenges of school, he will find that life after school really isn’t much like school at all.

HI Concerned:
I agree with Sara — school is NOT life! This doesn’t mean that you can necessarily manage without literacy skills at an adult level — but many jobs require only basic skills.

Start now to help your teen discover his aptitudes and interests.
I work for a small manufacturing company — we do machining and fabricating. Many of the skilled machinists would have only about 8th grade literacy skills, (maybe!) but need good math skills. These guys can make around 100K per year and we CAN’t get as many as we need!
Perfect job for someone who is letter dyslexic but good in math.

Good people skills? Go for sales! Use your personality and self confidence, plus computer spell-check skills and in many highly paid sales jobs you will do just fine. Trust me — having been a Payroll/Benefits Specialist for many years, I have seen the paycheques of many people who must have passed thru HS on a wing and a prayer…and tho I can write essays many many of them earned far more than I.

My husband is not ld but is a “3 dimensional type”. He is an automotive technician. He sweated bullets to get the required 70% in the written portion of his college course, but aced the practical since he can fix anything he takes apart, and has done very well in his career. He reads well and is reasonably literate — but he couldn’t write an essay to save his life, trust me!

These are only some basic examples. The trick is to find your strengths and work at them — make them work for you. Grade 9 is a great place to start, because you can begin trying part-time jobs that may help you find your niche. Basic literacy is very important, but essay-writing etc. is far beyond the literacy skills required for many jobs. Guess how much plumbers make per annum? Yes, 100K plus or they aren’t working very hard! And no essays — most apprentice and learn on-the-job. Many trades have written components but those are necessary to “get the ticket”, not to do the job.

Always remember — school success is only that — school success! Successful living is something very different. BUT finding the right career is a job in itself. You’re starting at a great age, IMO, since he can begin trying part time jobs to see what he enjoys, and to learn the power of the $. Also the school may have aptitude testing and lots of info re careers. Many trades have associations that are happy to help you find out about careers in that area. I’m in Canada, so I can’t help you much with specifics— our post secondary system is quite different I think. Good luck!

I know what you mean. The only problem is that the school has already destroyed his self esteem. We have tried so many different things all along, but he can’t find the one thing that he is interested/good at. Every time that something starts getting hard, he wants to quit. I have made him stick with things till the end, but it just made him hate it worse and tired me out with arguing over why he has to do it. Every thing that you try out here, costs money. No classes are free. Then add in the fact that equipment might have to be purchased even if second hand and you have big money. I have tried to be supportive but he is getting worn down and I have to admit so am I. If I had the money, I would send him to a sped high school not far from here. The only problem with that is that if I did, the family wouldn’t be able to eat, heat the house, probably have the house, get shoes when worn out, etc. We are on a very tight budget as it is.

How do you get a teen’s self-esteem back? How do you get your teen interested in something when nothing seems to interest him right now?

If the son gets a job, maybe his self-esteem will improve. Also, if he is job-bound after high school, it will help him sort through which kind of job he wants. Plus, as money seems to be tight, it will give him something to make a financial start in life without costing the family any more money.

I didn’t go the job route after high school, but found that my part-time job really helped me feel like a grown up who could handle responsibilities. Also, many kids who take part time jobs in their town can get hired on when they prove that they are good workers.

And, if it turns out that the son hates working, it may be a way of focusing him on sticking with academics for a while, even if it is a struggle.

It’s a good question. My only suggestion might be getting a part-time job. My own nephew is not a good student nor a good athlete. He doesn’t play any instruments or have any hobbies or interests other than video games. He did, though, get a part-time job selling candy in a candy store and has derived a tremendous self-esteem from that job. He doesn’t get paid much but his boss loves him and so do the customers. He’s the youngest person in the shop and everybody asks for him. It’s a real boost. He works cheap and through the busy hours when everybody is driving home from work and stopping by so he fills a real need for his employer. It’s been his first understanding of what it’s like to be held in good regard and… he likes to spend the money on video games.

Are there any opportunities for part-time jobs in your area? It’s a wonderful thing for a teenager when your boss comes up and says, “What did I ever do without you?”

Good luck.

Greetings Concerned,

Check out your local library for the book I Could Do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It by Barbara Sher (c.’95). Aside from a little parent-bashing, the book does a good job of helping you pinpoint possible career interests. Also, you might want to have your son complete a career apptitude test for possible areas of interest. I agree with all the other posters that a part-time job would probably be beneficial. If nothing else, it would help him identify what he DOESN’T want to do. My 14yo “nature girl” just started a part-time job working with a golf-course landscaper and LOVES it. It takes something she likes to do - putzing outside and in the dirt - and pays her for it. What does your son like to do for fun?

Blessings, momo

Learning how to operate your own company..one where you get to hire your own employees..who may not have LD…can avoid having LD be the leading issue defining your success…it can let LD be replaced with customers who call your firm for service solutions….not to ask your grade point or education level or IEP progress.

So learning people skills and developing a drive to accomplish things might be the ticket out of the LD box many want to think is the defining limitation.