just feeling depressed tonight, I guess

What can I do to help you so that you can find solutions? I have been where you are and I have learned a few things that you can do to help him and you don’t have to be a rocket scientist or spend a lot of money.

One of my former cubscouts who is now the age of my 15 year old son has leukemia. Life isn’t fair especially when things like this happen to young kids. It makes my own battles with my LD/ADHD kids seem so small but if I can help you so that you can help your son let me know. Where there is a will there is a way.

I certainly can’t disagree with your point that money makes a big difference in life and that there is a great unfairness to that. I have to say though I have seen parents who could spend much money on many different therapies to little avail. My husband and I were also recommended therapies that we could not afford. We had to pick and choose between the many things that we recommended and with some research I came to the conclusion that often schools and teachers sort of throw recommendations at you… “well, try this and this and this” sort of thing.

There’s a saying about throwing money at a problem doesn’t always fix the problem. Your post doesn’t say what’s been recommended that you can’t afford but I’d want to encourage you to believe that some recommedations aren’t good ones and others can sometimes be done by parents at home. I found with a little reading and a fair bit of time, I could usually come up with a “home-grown” therapy that certainly didn’t hurt and may be even helped my son.

If you’d let us know what kind of therapy it is, maybe the many parents who read the board could suggest alternatives.

Someday, read about Wilma Rudolph and the host of athletes who overcame poverty and personal tragedy to become great. Your view may be a bit skewed because you are feeling depressed right now. Depression has a way of doing that to us.

There is much more than money that contributes to success. I have personally known poorly motivated rich kids who did nothing with their lives but wasted their daddy’s money. I have known/seen those with less work hard and strive for their goals.

Nothing good is ever easy. The qualities that shine in successful people are not related to money, coaching and training. They are personal qualities and above all, PERSERVERENCE. Maybe LD is an opportunity to learn perserverence. Challenges are always opportunities.

Hope you feel better soon.

It’s not about the money, it’s about the character lessons that parents teach their children. Fortunately, it’s free.

I grew up with nothing but free public schools and parents with high expectations. I played in the streets and read every book in our house and then many of the ones in our local library.

My friends and I were mainly immigrants or their children or grandchildren. Most of our parents had not been to college.

Most of us worked in junior and high school and in college.

We are now lawyers, scientists, engineers, teachers, doctors, and business owners of all sorts (mechanics, plumbers, electricians, internet, printing, etc.).

I sometimes wonder if we would have been hindered if we did not have to work hard and constantly be vigilant. We certainly appreciate everything we have much more because we earned it.

I saw you posted your message at 10:30 at night. I hope getting a little angst out helped you sleep. I agree with others — the most important solutions are free. My wife and I are lucky — we have a public school with programs for learning disabilities; the teachers are wonderful. But the most important things we do for our son are the things we do at home. Read up on the subject, learn some new techniques, read to your child, always be alert for something new to help your child.

You might try your health insurance to see if there isn’t a benefit you need that they provide at a reduced rate, and what’s required. I was able to get occupational and speech therapy at a do-able cost that would have otherwise been prohibitive.

Also teachers at school are a great source of do at home type things that you can do together. My son and I work on certain things every night— no cost, except occasionally for some paper and supplies. Teachers and therapists are often more than glad to help you acquire the skills or knowledge you need, either by showing you or loaning you material you can read. The library has a wealth of information, all free.

You may not be able to afford to hire the help or tutors you’d like for your children to have, but you may be able to be that help. That expereince of helping them succeed is priceless.

My child is so severe that it has cost thousands to just get where we are and quite frankly we have run out of money, and she is only nine! I have done so many things at home that every room in my house is overflowing with “visual and multisensory aids”. Our insurance pays for many things, our public school (through grade 5 anyway) is a definite blessing right now, and my mind is overwhelmed with programs of what I could do next. All good programs, all cost money-granted some more than others-, however, my daughter will not necessarily respond to the program just because its good. Her anxiety disorder and language processing go hand in hand as a prescription to failure. I am not being pesimistc only realistic. $69.95 x hundreds of things makes you go broke. There is a program in our state, I think it is a federal program, called Katie Becket(just changed its name to The Deiming Waiver). It is for middle income parents whose children are disabled in more than one area - our classification is CAPD, dyspraxia, and autistic spectrum, and gives therapy to children with the intention of not making their families go broke trying to
handle everything. We are in the process of applying now and wish we had done it sooner before such financial chaos hit.

I know what you are talking about, what keeps me going is I have no other choice. I know what I will tell her is that we did everything we could possibly do for her. I get really down thinking about what the future holds and in a good way that keeps me trying.

Right now the psychologist is breaking the bank, but she is wonderful and even I have been helped in the sessions. One thing she is working on now isthe shutdown and withdrawal. She describes this as our thoughts catching up to our feelings. My daughter goes on feelings, therefore she can’t recover quickly when something major to her - minor to us- happens. So she must work on getting her thoughts to catch up with her feelings. Such as , my brother did shove me making me mad(feeling), but (the thought) he had told me to stop annoying him. So if I had stopped he would not have pushed me. This is complicated and I am still learning. But my feeling of depressed drives my to my thought for action. If this makes sense. Best Wishes, S.G.

I’m not sure that money is the key item. Spending time with the LD child seems equally important. Even minor remediation takes lots of parent coaching and motivating…the kind you do face to face at 3:30pm and 8pm. Also spending more money means more cycles of expectations and goals that often aren’t met..so the lows can be even more substanial and more frequent with more money.

Dear Mom,
I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been given all kinds of suggestions from Fast Forward to Hooked on Phonics and other high priced items but I have used this to push myself to go back to college so that I can eventually earn enough money to afford these things. Your child will follow your lead so to speak Keep your chin up and pray with your child. My son does so much better when I don’t give up and him seeing me work hard makes him work hard too. I pray with my son every night and it seems to really help because instead of us relying solely on ourselves,we can give up some of problems to God. His shoulders are a lot bigger than mine are. Good Luck and may God Bless You and your family!