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What would you all do?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

My child goes to a school specifically for LD/ADHD kids.

She had a homework assignment that was done all wrong. Don’t get me wrong for some time I have helped her with her homework, fought with her over it, and gone so far as sometimes to even do it for her to save both our sanity. But…the other night she had an assignment, I checked it over before she went to her father’s house (he’s supposed to help her when he has her) and found alot of errors. She came home from her father’s house, said he looked it over, said it was fine. I knew it was wrong, but I wasn’t going to bail her out again. She came home from school, I asked her if she handed it in and if she got a grade on it. She said the teacher looked over the entire classes homework, handed it back and said “good job, you all get 100%.” Well, naturally, I couldn’t believe my ears, and even wondered if my child was lying to me so I e-mailed the teacher and asked if that indeed did happen. The teacher replied, said it was as it was told, and even went so far to say that Suzy did a good job. WHAT?? The homework was messy and the answers were wrong. To top it off, the teacher told the kids to use the homework as their notes.

I have had it with this school. This is their way of doing things. I have sent e-mail after e-mail, and have even been called into the principals office to be told that my e-mails are rude. Well, I don’t start them out to be intentionally rude, but by the end I am mad. Why even bother sending this kid to school?

What would you do if you were me?

Thanks.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 09/27/2001 - 2:40 PM

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Are papers returned to you at the end of the week? If they are I would set up a meeting with the head person of the school and take the paper there and demand an explaination. If you can’t get the paper I would still contact the head of the school for an answer.

My personal experience with the sped people has been whenever I say I want my son challenged. They answer they don’t want to frustrate him. He does not get grades just S, S+, E or NI. This of course tells me basically nothing.

I know my son is not working to his capabilities just being pushed through. Sometimes I think the teachers read a kids file decide they are behind in something so instead of teaching and trying to get them ahead they just let everything slide.

If possible you could let her do her homework alone, leave errors and go to somewhere and keep a photocopy. Maybe you could see if it is normal procedure to give good grades so parents think they are getting what they are paying for.

Good luck.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 09/27/2001 - 3:22 PM

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Is your child happy at the school? How is the school doing in other areas? Does this school help your child:
- Interact more successfully with other children?
- Have better self-esteem?
- Have a positive attitude toward learning?
- Improve academic skills to appropriate grade level?

I would rate these factors higher than requiring neat/correct homework. Is the school measuring mastery of subject content in some other way (tests/quizzes/classwork) or they just “caretaking” on this as well?

If you feel there are problems in these other factors as well, you probably need to look into alternatives.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 09/27/2001 - 5:27 PM

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Schools are places with long historys. They each have their ways and their ways are slow to change. It’s sadly unlikely that your e-mails will change much but their opinion of you.

Is your daughter happy with the school? If she is, ideally you want to find a school you both can be happy with. If your daughter’s unhappy as well, then why stay in a school you don’t like?

Good luck.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 09/27/2001 - 11:45 PM

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It sounds like there is a lot more going on than this one incident. As aj said, you need to look at the bigger picture- is she happy there, is she learning? Why did you choose this school in the first place, and has it turned out not to be the right place for her? Perhaps this incident was especially annoying because neither your child nor her father took responsibility for the assignment like you wanted them to. If still you feel that this school is the best place for her, please consider whether your angry e-mails are helping or hurting the situation. You might try writing immediately but waiting 24 or 48 hours before sending them— call a friend, post your frustrations here (there are a bunch of great listeners here!). E-mail is so easily misinterpreted— maybe just e-mail a message that you would like the teacher to call you at her convenience to talk about ___. Good luck.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 09/28/2001 - 12:09 PM

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Thanks for all of the questions and advice.

I am going to try to answer a couple of the questions.

Is my daughter happy at this school? No. She is going there because her father insists on it. He is LD himself, but self sufficient enough to hold down a good job. My daughter truly hates the school. She knows that she can get away with doing a shoddy job with her homework. There is absolutely no discipline at this school (teacher admitted, not just my opinion, other parents have also said there is no discipline.)

I don’t pay for her to go there. The school district that we are in does, happily for some reason, we’re talking over $20,000 a year tuition.

Yes she does interact with the other students. But this is not a good thing. You have 100 totally disrespectful kids running around like they own the place. My daughter knows better but because she is with these people 6 hours a day 5 days a week she becomes like them with her attitude. I want to scream but how can I blame her? Peer pressure, we all know what that’s like.

Self esteem? She has enough of that.

Learning anything? Well, she’s been there for four years and is still at a 2-3 grade learning level. When she went in she was at a 1st grade learning level. Looks to me like she isn’t learning much.

I am at the point where I am going to let the school dig their grave deeper. I am not going to correct her incorrect homework anymore. If they or her father don’t care, then maybe I shouldn’t either. Is that the right attitude? Probably not but after fighting for this kid, alone…, for some many years only to get to this point, I truly am tired of it in that I am totally drained. It’s hard work to see that your child get a fair deal and when they don’t, well, what can I do?

The teachers and administrators already don’t like me but that doesn’t bother me. I don’t like them either(!) but I don’t let on that I don’t. I wouldn’t like a parent who was so involved in their child’s edcuation either if I wasn’t doing my job properly. They have every reason not to like me. I am trying to hold them accountable. They know I don’t want her there. They know she is only there because her father is insisting. But they also know that I know what I am talking about when I go in to speak with them. They can’t pull the wool over my eyes anymore. And they know that I’ll fight for my daughter every step of the way until she is out of that place, which I pray will be soon.

In case you are wondering, I can’t get her out because of her father disagreeing and about what it states in our divorce agreement. Long story. Lots of prayer.

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