Hi, This is the first time that I have written here. I have a 10year old girl
with ADHD, LD, and a behavioral problem. It is so bad sometimes that I just
sit and stare at the wall trying to make sense of all this. She is on Wellbutrin
and in a public school. She does have an IEP and we have had meetings with
staff about this. She doesn’t want to go to school and it is a miracle that I get
her their. She will go to the nurse and say her stomach hurts her to try to get
out of school. I don’t know if she is just doing this or not. She has been to
many doctors and has had many tests. The therapist says I need to do a
behavioral chart for her but I don’t know if she would even care if she gots
stars or not. She is a very difficult child and complex. When not getting her
way she can be very violent and bad language. I need some help to be able
to control her better and the therapist is suggesting a behavioral chart. What
do you think? I also have a 3 year old daughter who witnessed alot of
fighting and argueing and she is picking up some of the bad behavior. HELP!
Re: ADHD/Behavioral Problem(long answer)
This is just a guess, maybe something is going on at school that your daughter isn’t telling anyone about. I was a little older at the time, but I was picked on in 6th grade by some other girls and never told an adult. I was scared to go to school and even managed to stay home when I thought something bad was going to happen. Some classmates of mine finally learned about what was going on and somehow on the day I stayed home they took care of the mean girls, I didn’t have any problems after that. Still don’t actually know what went on. I don’t know all the particulars of your daughter’s situation, it might not be anything like that. It just sounds like maybe you should investigate a little further what is going on at school. One of my son’s teachers in 3rd grade was a screamer, but she never did it when another adult was there. My son would tell me about it(after being crabby all afternoon). I went one day and just stood in the hallway, and yes she was a screamer. My point is that you might not see or hear what your daughter does if you are in the room but come in unexpected and wait a few minutes in the hall to see if all is what it seems.
I don’t know about the behavior chart, I have used something like it for a homework contract. We had to find something that would motivate my son and I know it isn’t easy.He wouldn’t agree to just about anything I suggested and wouldn’t make suggestions of his own. I had to leave him to think about it for a couple of days. Of course what he came up with was a dirt bike(NO) and a plane ticket to the states(NO, we live in Germany for now). So, on we go. He seems most motivated by money and the worst punishment is to take some away. He mows lawns and has quite a lot in his dad’s quicken account.
You mentioned the therapist, does your daughter see him/her on her own? Maybe he can investigate why it is so hard to get your daughter to go to school and why she is having phyical complaints once she is there. I hope I have been able to help, and that things get better. Best wishes.
Oh, and by the way, I was on wellbutrin for 30 days trial, it actually helped me with what my 12 yr old called my ‘agitation’. Maybe the meds aren’t working for her, another thing to investigate? I know the wellbutrin didn’t do a thing for my lack of focus and follow through.
Re: ADHD/Behavioral Problem
You may need to delve deeper to get her a more complete diagnosis. Wellbutrin is used mostly in ADHD adults, but it is minimally effective in treating ADHD symptoms. It is pretty good with depression, though. As is usually the case, you need to be really tough, draw the line about things at home and hold that line; no matter what, if you want to begin to get things under control. I think the single biggest mistake we parents make (I am guilty) is to threaten and then reneg. OUr children learn exactly how far they can push us and what they CAN get away with.
Re: ADHD/Behavioral Problem(long answer)
We just started her on the wellbutrin and I know it will take time to see a
how it would work. I am actually looking into a new psyc dr. for her. It will
be the 3rd one. Not to happy with the current one. Thanks for your input!
Is the therapist willing to help you put a program together? Or to refer you to someone who can? Behavior programs, the ones that work anyway, go beyond the star chart. They can be very subtle and need to be well designed.
Is your daughter acting out at school as well? YOu may be able to have your IEP team bring a behavior consultant on board to help design this.
Good luck!
Robin