developmental delay in 3 year old

Hi Tammy
My son was 3yrs.old when he was diagnosed with a severe developmental speech delay. It was recommended to us by the school district to put him in special ed preschool class. We opted for regular preschool speech therapy with district therapist in a class of 3 or 4 kids that just addressed speech and sent our son to a preschool of our choice. We had a wonderful preschool teacher that was willing to go out of her way to help our son with whatever he was working on in speech. We also got our son additional private speech therapy(covered by insurance) at the recommendation of the school district. My son turned 5 in August. We opted not to send him to kindergarten in the fall even though both his spl’s said they saw no reason to hold him back. Everybody that has been involved with my son has done their job well. I also had to work very hard with my son. You have to know when to push and when to not push. Sometimes I said “he can’t” and his therapist said “he has to and he will” Barring any other diagnosis with your son if you work hard and he works hard and your therapist helps you to help your son, he should come out of this and be ok. Don’t depend on the school to just take care of everything and assume that he will be ok. YOU need to be actively involved in helping your son and be aware of exactly what they are doing for him and what you can do at home.
My son is out of speech therapy and his only problem that we continue to work on at home is a very suttle word retrieval issue. We are teaching him stratigies to cue himself when he has difficulty coming up with a word. He attends a montessori program this year because he has outgrown regular preschool. His teacher is presenting him with kindergarten work and we’ll see how it goes. He is not officially in kindergarden but if he continues to grasp concepts she thinks I could put him in first grade next year if I wanted to. I’m not sure. I just think because of his original delays and his late birthday whats the harm in giving him the extra year. Sorry for the ramble. I wish you the best of luck with your son. Don’t ever give up! Cathy

You don’t say wether or not he has trouble expressing himself to those in your home or not but if so you might look into sign language to augment his speech attempts for the time being. It is extremely important that he is able to make his needs known and sign kept my 5 year old from meltdowns caused by his inability communicate with his family.

Hi Tammy,

My son is now 10 1/2. At 3, he was disagnosed with a severe language delay, fine motor coordination delay, and developmental encephelopathy. He could not answer a yes/no questions until almost 4 years old. He could only echo words back to us. And he continued to do that even in to Kindergarten and First Grade. Although, he was a joyful precious boy, we worried how he would learn to talk and connect with others. I won’t detail all that we went through here. But, he did have lots of speech therapy and OT.

At 10 1/2, our son is still a joyful precious boy. If you met him today, you would never know of his struggles unless you were his teacher at school. He has 2 close friends. He plays soccer in a non-competitive league. He takes computer classes and plays the guitar. He is a hard-worker, a sweet big brother, likes to read books. And, he knows he is smart. He wants to be pilot, and can fly the planes on the adult flight simulator computer games.

In spite of the fact that he has very poor handwriting, struggles with expressing his ideas in writing, and still has weak vocaulary, he is making good grades in school and his teachers have always loved him. He still has challenges to face with school which bring me to this bulletin board often. But, I am very optimistic that he will grow in to a happy, healthy adult who can attend college, pursue a worthwhile career, and continue to make friends and fulfill his dreams.

Looking back, I have to say that ages 3-5 were some of the hardest years for my son and the family. It’s tough to graduate from the “terrific/terrible” twos stage if you can’t explain to grown-ups what you want. Things like potty training and participating in regular preschool are pretty tough. You are your son’s best teacher and therapist. But, most importantly you are his mom who will show him love, patience, and understanding. My husband and I took a parent course for children with language problems called HANEN, and I listened and learned during every therapy session.

In spite of the fact that my son was slow developing in most areas, he still grew up too fast. I miss my little bald headed 3 year old who would just giggle, growl, and cuddle. I wish I had cried and worried less, and spent more time playing and laughing and enjoying the moment. He was so cute back then when he would try to play with friends. He learned the phrase, “What’s your name?” but he had NO CLUE what it meant. He’d go up to kids and say, “What’s your name?” They would answer, and then ask for his name. He’d say back,”What’s your name?” again and again. It was his attempt at convesation. His friends would answer again or laugh and go on and play. Most kids under the age of 6 don’t care if you are a big conversationalist, as long as you are willing to share your trucks and toys.

Good luck as you begin your journey. There is a good book called Late-Talking Children by Thomas Sowell that was very encouraging for me. He gathered stories of about 80 parents with late-talking children.

Parenting a child with developmental delays can be overwhelming sometimes. My husband preferred the “denial” approach, which frankly has not been all bad. It has been great for my son to have a dad who was not always worrying or analyzing his every need. So, the bulk of responsibilities and decisions have been on my shoulders. When I feel distraught or stressed about it, I try to remember that the Lord hand-picked me to be my son’s mom. The Lord will not present me with a challenge I can not face or allow me to fail my child.

Take care,
Rosie

We did some signing at home too. We just needed the basics “more, yes, no, up, finish, etc…” We also used picture symbols taped to things all around the house. I made some smaller picture boards to carry with me in the car or shopping or park so that my son could point to what he wanted on the board if he couldn’t communicate it.

You can make these up yourself. For the playground, draw some simple pictures like swing, slide, potty/diaper, food, drink, “time to go”.

My son learned to read early. I think all the picture symbols with words helped him.

I found this to be an interesting thought on this topic. Although my daughter was not developmentally delayed she was diagnosed to be ADHD many years ago. Maybe it was just a fluke but it wasn’t long after I quit smoking that many of her symptoms faded. She was not as difficult to manage, her attention span increased and the best thing her grades improved. I am not saying this is the answer but it is something to look into. http://www.allergyconnection.com/developmental.html

Tammy,

My son had a 2 yr. speech delay at age 3 and has been in SL ever since. I don’t want to sound discouraging but the delayed speech for my son has carried over into being delayed in learning.

In order to learn we must understand words and be able to answer the way the school wants us to. Keep your son in as much speech as you can get.

My son is improving constantly he is great at math and spelling reading is still hard for him but he is learning.