scools answear for helping with homework

You paint a picture of a child who cannot do anything academic. Many students — especially the ones that “nothing sticks out” for — would have a chance to succeed with some extra time. Lots of them also have trouble getting the right materials home and knowing what the assignment is, and being able to communicate that to parents so they can help.
One of the real strengths of the private school where I taught was the “after school study hall.” If students didn’t have their homework, they stayed after school that day and completed it. It kept students from getting hopelessly behind, etc. It didn’t cost anything (but the school cost 11-15,000).
On the other hand, if a student is resisting school with every cell of his body, and sees this as a viable option, making his daily sentence longer isn’t going to help unless it motivates him to do whatever it takes to shorten that sentence.
Your comparisons of after school being like giving a child with no legs track practice makes it seem like you think school is something your child simply cannot do. If what he’s being asked to do in school (and then in after-school) is that totally inappropriate, then yes, your efforts are better spent changing the inappropriate education.

Sherry -

My heart goes out to you for what you and your child are going through. It is so hard for a child to be the one who is different.

The key will be how your child feels about going to this program. We sent our son to a similar program for a few months, but he felt different there too and was so sensitive he didn’t want to go and ask for homework help. Is your son open to the idea?

If he’s willing to try it, I think that you should seriously consider the after-school program. Don’t avoid a potential resource for your child just on principle. If it helps, it will be worth it to both of you. We currently pay a private tutor roughly $360 a month and get two 2-hour sessions a week. Granted what your child would get would not quite be at the same level, but to me it sure looks like a bargain. At this point in the school year, you could try it for the remaining 2-3 months and see how its goes.

Our child’s psychiatrist uses different analogies about getting a child the help they need. If he was myopic, wouldn’t you get him glasses? If he was diabetic, wouldn’t you get him insulin? If your child is struggling academically (which I assume from reading between the lines), he needs more help than he’s getting during school hours.

Hmmm…how to say this without offending…

If a government owned and operated vehicle ran into me, would I expect them to foot the cost for damages? If a public library was open and free to all white people, but ‘colored’ people had to pay hundreds of dollars for the same services, would I consider that discriminatory and unfair?

The point is that, yes, we love our children, so very much as perhaps only God and the sparrow sees…being fools for the public education system isn’t exactly good evidence that we care for our kids. If my child were in special education, and they had a problem educating him and suggested he attend one of their after school programs, then ‘they’ should pay for the during school damages by compensating him/her free of cost in the after program.

I think perhaps another F needs to be added to FAPE…call it FFAPE…a Free Fair Appropriate Public Education. If we have to pay for it by other than our already huge property taxation, then it isn’t public education, it’s privately funded. How nice for the school district that so many parents swallow such garbage. How positively awful for the parents who can’t afford those niceties, and how absolutely discriminatory.

Bonita

Been there, had the same reaction as you do. In our case, the after school homework sessions are free, but are run by a teacher with middle school students serving as tutors. Excuse me…he can’t always understand his homework and they want kids who are only 14 helping him figure out the assignment?

For us, this was the solution presented when I asked for modified amounts of homework. I think they thought if I didn’t have to spend the time helping him, I’d stop complaining about the endless assignments. They were wrong.

i’d like to thank-you all for your responses to my messages. Even though, at times it’s not what i really want to hear, it’s good to get another perspective to our situation. I think i get so bitter and angry about whats happening to my son, our family, that sometimes I let it blind to whats really important, and although i think that the system has failed him teriably, doesn’t mean i still can’t have a open mind to new avenues. So i think i will live it up to my son and ask him to try the after school for one week and after that we will see what happens, Again ty all for all comments. I find the responses i get so over whelming, that most days i just sit here and cry, it’s so nice to no that i’m not alone in this fight anymore!

Sounds like a good idea (tho’ I agree - you shouldn’t be having to pay for it… and I like Bonita’s analogies too…)

Who monitors these after school homework help sessions? What kind of help does your son need? If it’s everyday stuff, one might think the after school tutors could do it. (how many students will they have at once and how many adults will there be in this program?)

If your son needs extra patience and attention, he might not get it at this program unless it has only a few students and some very dedicated teachers. Also make sure it’s staffed by teachers and not just anybody. Consider going and visiting the after school program.

I’m also one who thinks some kids need a break at the end of the school day and just can’t go from school to homework. They need some down time.

Good luck.

I know more school sounds like the exact opposite of what you need, but it might work for your son. The best program we’ve had so far was an after-school homework club, free, for 1 hour in 3rd - 5th grade. It was monitored by a teacher, but middle school kids helped tutor - it actually worked. It wasn’t real strict, but my son would usually come home with all his homework done!!!! What a gift!!!! They only met 2 times a week, Mon and Thurs - the heaviest homework days.
As you can see from my topic below- going to school is sometimes a struggle for my son, but once he’s there he works hard. It’s like there’s magic in the building, the moment he leaves it, he’s done, but if he stays there, he can work longer.
I would try it for a month, not every day, even if you have to pay the same amount, then reevaluate.
Sherry - thanks for your comments to my tirade below - it does help to know that my son is not alone, and neither are his parents.

First of all, I love your dialect.

Secondly, you tell it like it is.

They should be providing these services in the regular school day.

I’m with Osi. He needs remediation during the school day. It sounds like he has shut down becuase they are expecting him to do work he can’t do. Does he receive any special education during the school day? Does he have an IEP? If the homework is above his level and is impossible for him to do, then I wouldn’t pay for an after school program.

Janis

My son also has benefitted greatly from “Homework Help.” He goes 3 days a week for about an hour. He was very resistant to the idea in the beginning, but soon started to realize that he came home scott free, with no homework to do afterwards, rather than having it looming over his head. Now he doesn’t seem to mind, and I can see how much more relaxed he is at home.

Ours is actually run by a very good SPED teacher, and she has 3-5 kids that she works with, so it’s really top quality help. He’s still in “school mode,” which is sometimes hard for him to get back into once he gets home. She also helps with those long-term assignments that can be the death of us!

OTOH, I’d fight pretty hard to get it included in his IEP, and not have to pay for it. This is in place because the type/amount of homework is more than can be handled by our child, even with our help. If they want him in the grade level curricullum, (which is truthfully where he should be) he NEEDS this support.

Karen

I agree that the school should provide it, but I think it depends on the kid whether it is good to have it during the school day or not. My son gets extremely stressed out about pull-outs during the school day. He can’t afford to miss academic time for catch-up, and I don’t think it’s fair for him to miss the “specials” that he enjoys for MORE academics. I think you need to look at the needs of the individual child to decide whether an after school program is a help or just more pressure. My son finds that it decreases his pressure to have that help.

Karen

I agree with you 100%. My 7th grade son has just started this type of after-school help. Very similiar, Quality Sped teacher, 5-7 Students and Free. My son was reluctant at first, so I made a deal with him - He has to try it at least until the end of the quarter, He only has to go 2 days a week(instead of 3) and only 1 hour opposed to the one and a half hour it is offered. After 3 weeks, he has decided to stay for the extra half hour and commented how awesome it is to have everything done and free time. Now he is reminding me when I should pick him up and when its an “after school day”. I would also like to note that my son no longer meets the criteria for an IEP, and this is still offered to him at our public school for free.

Check out the program like Sara said it might not be run well and no benefit to your son and why frustrate him further.