After one of thoes homework nights last night I came up with the following:
What is homework purgatory? A sentence issued down to parents of LD/ADHD kids.
When is the sentence completed? When the kid graduates, maybe.
Helen
Re: What is homework purgatory? One of many rooms!
That was beautiful Andy. Really hit home with me - I like the way you expressed it!
Re: Wait a minute, who's monitoring the halls?!!!
bren, momoMO and others,
Hang in there! Glad you enjoyed the post. There’s sooooooooooo much more to post about on this subject!
We all need to remember to take breaks from the stressful rooms, we are adults; aren’t we? All one need do is get up from purgatory, fret room and others and simply take as long a break as is needed. Go out into the hall for a new perspective. Heck, while you’re out there, head outside for a breath of fresh air. Take a stroll, take in a movie, clear your head, and then go back on attack. The good and the bad of it is it will all be there when you get back. Looking at it from a rested perspective will give new insight, new strength, increased stamina and hopefully (God willing) the determination to simply hang on a little longer.
Flip side of that is when there is a respite, a tranquil mili-second, a laugh or a peaceful moment… take in a deep breath, I mean really deep, and savor that moment. Enjoy it to it’s fullest and store it away for fond memory that you can draw from when you are back in the full swing of purgatory, or fretting, or anxieties and try to remember what it’s all about from the more global perspective.
Can’t begin to tell you all how I understand the “precious present” (sp?) can be all consuming and devour every ounce of energy from an individual and a family. Try to not let it take the highest priority in your day. Yes, it is important, but keep things in perspective. You need the little breaks as much or more than your child. When we were in the bowels of homework purgatory, and I mean so far down the bowels we were seeing daylight through the lowest region (need I get more descriptive?)… I used to set the timer for 40 minutes and we’d take a 20 minute break every hour. Each break do something different that was fun for both parent and child, and I mean fun, and I mean not schoolwork. Set the timer for 20 minutes and then get back to it again as an agreement from both sides. Sadly, just like with work, and dental appointments, amazing how fast time goes while you are having fun, and how long a minute can be when you are having a nerve being drilled.
Anyway, just wishing you good luck and hope you can keep your sanity; that’s the tough part.
Andy
Re: What is homework purgatory?
You’re right. Homework is not assigned with individual children in mind. If your child has an IEP sometimes homework modifications can be made that prove helpful.
I think homework is out of control in our society. The school has essentially been extended through the evening which makes no sense. If you want to read two scholars who agree with you, get hold of JohnBuell’s The End of Homework.
Homework almost broke my family in two and has left wounds on both my son and myself that will be a long time healing.
Good luck to you and your son.
Hard to believe but it could be worse
Greetings,
Near the beginning of this school year, my dd and I spent the day with a 16yo exchange student from Russia (actually a country that had previously been part of Russia but I can’t remember the name). She was shocked to find out how “easy” our school days were. She attends public school six days a week - yes, Saturday too - six hours per day which actually only comes to about 36hrs per year more than we attend in MO. However, they have SIX HOURS HOMEWORK EACH AND EVERY NIGHT!!! And that’s what students without any kind of learning problems are assigned! I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like for LD students! Although I think by then the poorer performing students are already funneled to vocational careers.
Blessings, teresa
Prior to graduation there can be a cubicle known as the “fret room”. That’s where you child insists on doing his/her own work without your help, without your checking on assignments, and generally speaking, insisting on your “butting out” and letting them do it for themselves. By that time, the hours put in HP (homework purgatory” has your reflexes and emotions so wrapped up in being involved it’s kind of like having withdrawls from an addiction. Even though you know it’s “a good thing (God willing)”, you still fret, sweat, worry, experience anxiety and wonder when the bottom will fall out and you will have to jump back in. The waiting room, aka “fret room”, is a place where parents haven’t had to visit since the first night baby slept all through the night. For all those nights of wishing you could just sleep,but you know who wakes up screaming, when he/she finally does, you wake up even more often, checking on breathing etc… This is right down the corridor from waiting for the teen driver to come home when out driving at night to a new area, just around the bend from sheer panic buttin when you hear sirens (regardless of which direction the sound comes from). I anticipate (way down the road) that siesta room, fully equipped with gentle music, a light breeze, hammocks and room service will come when there are grandchildren????
Hang in there.
Andy