I have a dd that I need to do vision exercises daily. She is also doing about 1 1/2 hrs. a day computer work with Fast Forward for auditory processing disorder. She hates FF and she hates her vision exercises. I know I can’t make her love these exercises, but are there ways that I can encourage her to have a better attitude and better behavior. As soon as I call her to do her work she runs to the bathroom. I see this as an avoidance issue.
Then when her FF computer game isn’t going accordingly well she yells and pounds on the computer. I can’t have that for I can’t afford a new keyboard. While doing vision exercises she will yell if things aren’t going her way. I constantly tell her that this is innappropriate behavior and may tell her that she will lose a priviledge if it continues. I was wondering if there would be a better way to reward good behavior instead of constantly taking away priviledges or punishing her. I want this to be a positive experience (FF and Visual Exercises). So far it has not been. Any suggestions would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!
Thanks so much,
Jan P.
Re: How do you help a child change their attitude about thei
Depends on how old your daughter is and her nature. But I’ve found the reward has to be equal to the misery she’s in. And it has to be somewhat immediate. ie When she finishes she gets to watch a video she’s picked out. Emphasis on SHE and not Mom. Or Mom gets down and plays dress up with her for the time equal to the time she spends seriously doing her program. Or you bake together. Or Mom promises she will allow that puppy she’s alwasy said no to and you actually go around looking at different breeds of dogs and rearching puppy care. ( This I’ve promised for my son when he’s finished all programs and can read.) Or you go to the park. Or the zoo. I think horses are a great motivater for girls. Finish one week and on the weekend we’ll go to a stables for a riding lesson. Or a swimming session with friend. I have a young friend, now a very accomplished pianist soon to be teacher ina conservatory and her mother got her thru all of her lessons and daily practices with weekly visits to Baskin Robbins-pick a flavour, any flavour triple dip. These ideas may not work with your daughter but the main advice is as a parent your range of rewards is much wider than a teachers. Recognise that this is miserable for her andshe can’t imagine it ever be over and things being better. Loosen the reins a little, allow for this time we are doing FF we will break the rules a little and allow this.
Are you doing these programs back to back? Can you have one in morning, on e in evening. If you can’t afford a tutour can Dad do vision? Can you break up sessions into shorter 15-20 min slots then 5 min runaround, read from Harry potter book kind of break?
Re: How do you help a child change their attitude about thei
I personally think you are asking too much from her. Here she is going to school all day,then the rest of her evening she has to work,work,work.
If she truely needs VT and FFW then yes! it is frustrating. My oldest hated FFW,made him sweat,made him really have to work hard. I don’t think he could of handled VT and FFW together. Do one at a time,why do both together?
Re: I agree with socks
I agree with socks, it sounds like way too much. She is a child, and a child with disabilities. My own opinion on incentives to perform (treat for work) is that it does more harm than good. In my experience it has put more pressure on my son when I add the stress of completing something for a reward on top of the fact that he just can’t do it sometimes; especially after a full day of struggling through school. If he is not successful in completing the task then he is punished because he doesn’t get the treat? How frustrating. If she is only going through the motions to get these things DONE (for the treat) is she really getting the intended benefits from the program. We went through VT and it can be mind-numbing at times especially on top of homework. Burn out happens with kids too and we need to be conscious of their stress and anxiety levels, really they can only handle so much. Maybe the behavior is telling you something of this sort.
We don't do Fast Forward and Vision lessons back to back.
I try to spread everything out over the day. Actually as of today, my dd is down to 2 out of 5 games on FF. She beat the third game today. Yipeeeeeeee! Now we have 2 left. I am definitely going to give her some major rewards. I just need to know what will work with her. Thanks for the ideas! Blessings, Jan P.
P.S.
My dd is 9.5 yrs. old.
I homeschool my child.
Actually, I use Fast Forward and the Vision Lessons as my dc’s schoolwork for the day. They involve language, phonics, and spelling. I am not doing my regular lessons with her. Outside of these sessions she is doing math and reading everyday. We work in science and history only if she is up to it (depends on how hectic our days are). Her FF time is only about an hour now and her vision lessons can be anywhere from 20 min. to 1 hr. depending on how much we get done. I try to space everything over the day, so I don’t feel like I’m abusing her. When she gets really out of sorts, then I just stop. Today she beat one of her FF games, so she was in a great mood.
I agree with you in that if she had to attend a public school or private school for 6 to 7 hrs. per day, then it would be too much to do both FF and vision lessons. Thanks for your concern.
Blessings,
Jan P.
Re: I homeschool my child.
Hi as another homeschooler I think I understand. You would like her attitude to be can do and set her own goals a bit???? They were prob responding to my puppy quote which as I said was our personal motivater not something I would necessarily reccommend for anyone else. We have two older dogs that predate son, 7. When asked what would motivate him to do his best at LIPS and Seeing Stars even when he didn’t feel like it he said a puppy. It means 3 dogs and i don’t get to replace my beloved Spitz firstborn but this is that important so Ok. He then set the goal to read at the end of the programs. Since he’s almost there I think he can. If he can’t he’ll make the decision what to do. My feeling is that all work is rewarded-that’s why it’s called Work. If adults have to do somethng stressful or difficult friends, relatives and shrinks will be the first to say take it easy on yourself, pamper yourself, be good to yourself- reward yourself. I find it works the same with kids esp young ones who can’t understand yet how important it is. We all make our parenting choices and live with the consequences. I just find I get more positive attitudes when I show I recognize this is hard time so until it’s over weget to do more stuff we don’t usually get to do it’s that important. I think pointsand money are good suggestions but not immediate enough for my guy so it’s the things Mom has promised to do but usually puts off cause everything else gets in the way. Like playing pirates and being willing to die spectacularly on the stairs… that get him motivated when he’s had enough. Justmy experience. Glad you had a good day. Good uck
If you have the money, you might hire a tutor to take
dd through the exercises and computer program.
Gets you out of the driver’s seat and let’s you be
more mom than teacher.
Often our children exhibit their worst behavior with
family because they know we’ll still keep them ;-)
Or you can set up a monetary reward system, or
a goal - Every session that goes well reward her a certain
number of points, get up to so many points and she
gets the reward.
Have her work out the system with you so she buys
into it.
Also think about free days, no computer, no vision exercises,
a complete break. LD kids work so much harder than ‘normal’
kids just to keep being behind - very hard for them to believe
that anything will help.
good luck!
Anne