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How do you know whats right?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

I’ve asked this before, and asking it again LOL I just can’t seem to get it through my head what is right. The school initially told us to have our son tested for ADHD. We did, diagnosis confirmed. Then the school told us to have him tested for ODD, we did, diagnosis learning disabilities. The school refuses to give IEP because he isn’t learning disabled, but mentally retarded. We fight the battle, we win, sorta, almost, maybe. He gets minimal remedial services, and some accomodations, but not nearly enough in our eyes. Now the school is saying have him tested for Sensory Integration Disorder. After looking at the list of symptoms, we say yes, that is our son, and we plan on having him tested. But how do we know whats right. After all this time, after all these fights, we just keep getting more and more involved in “whats wrong” rather than in how to help him. I get so disgusted on a daily basis when I go to pick up my son from school, to be told he is innattentive, distracted, and not doing what the other kids are doing in class, and when I ask, what have you tried to do to help him….I get a shrug, and told he gets recess taken away to do his unfinished work. Its all frustrating and defeating the whole purpose of raising a child to be curious and wants to learn.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 05/17/2002 - 6:26 PM

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First, are they making you go outside for the testing or are they doing the testing and diagnosing themselves? It certainly sounds like they are trying to tire you so that you give up and pull your son out of the school before they have to take responsibility for placement of him. (I must warn you that my opinion has been driven to cynicism as I navigate this disgusting maze called Special Education) but I would be disgusted to if I were in your shoes. We are in a similar situation but they will not give us an indication of what they think is wrong, therefore we have been on a wild goose chase trying to find the answers. It is my understanding that if they suggest a diagnosis of a condition, they are then responsible for finding it through the appropriate testing. This is where our district gets themselves off the hook; they just say nothing. We get the testing outside, they are then not obligated to accept the findings of the private testing. They feel that they did an “appropriate” evaluation though it is far from being complete. This whole thing is so overwhelming that I would make this suggestion to you: seek out a neuropsychologist who can pinpoint what is truly going on. It will save you the heartache and the guessing games. Most of all it will save you the valuable time you and your son are losing as you try to put all the puzzle pieces together that they keep throwing at you. Our neuropyschologist also has an educational consultant who works with her who will help us put together a plan of action that is RIGHT for our son, not just appropriate or convenient for the school. Some consultants will even come to the school with you to present the neuros findings and the plan that is right for your child. They also know the law and can fight that battle for you to get what you NEED, not what they are willing to “generously give you, because were you AWARE that it’s coming right out of their own personal checkbook to help your child” (LOL). To answer your question “how do you know what’s right?” I am confident that we are on the right track with this approach. I refuse to leave this in their hands any longer. We did it their way for three years with little results, now we do it “little lu lu’s” way. I hope you find this helpful. Good luck to you!

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 05/18/2002 - 1:45 AM

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I have A.D.D. and L.D. You need to be a pin in the a** about it. I was their when a teacher told my parents that I would never be anyone. I’m still not but, that just gave me a reasin to show her what I can do. I wrote a short story about what it’s like to grow up with this and I’m trying to get it published now. Then I will send her a coppie of it and say, “wow thought I’d never be anyone”. what ever you do, DO NOT GIVE UP!
Mike

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 05/18/2002 - 10:48 PM

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Mike,

Bravo to you! Keep up the good work and you can do anything that you want to do. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Your teacher obviously, had some weaknesses of her own.

I also have a son that is ADD and LD and while life is a constant struggle, I would never give up on him. I will always teach him to look for the positives in his life and try not to focus on the negatives.

Good luck to you in everything that you do!

Carol

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 05/18/2002 - 11:03 PM

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Patty,

I have a child that is ADD/LD and from past experience, I would advise if you can afford it, to seek outside testing from a Pediatric Developmental Pediatrician for more complete and accurate results.

Then, take those results to your school, ask your doctor to get involved, and demand that your child’s needs be met. Sometimes taking things to the next level, works very nicely.

Good luck and I wish you and your child the very best.

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