It’s been a while since I posted to this forum but I consider all of you to be experts and hope that you can share your intuition with me.
Some Background:
Because my daughter attended private school, she wasn’t identified with dyslexia until the end of 8th grade. I remember the tester telling me that in high school, “we accomodate, we don’t remediate”. That was sufficient for me to seek outside help during the summer between Jr. HS and her freshman year. That help came from some of the forum members here as well as a professional referral to a communications disorder program at a local college. The college assessment corroborated the school’s. However, they worked with her over several sessions and assured both of us that she could handle a higher level program than the “slow learner” program to which she had been assigned.
Given the fact that she was new to LRA, a “teen” at that sensitive age, still in denial and thrust into a regents level program, her freshman year was a major adjustment. I supplied each of her teachers with a letter, prior to the start of the school year, in which I describeded dyslexia, detailed her learning style, offered suggestions on how to work with a dyslexic and provided them with home/office/cell/pager numbers where they could reach me 24 hours a day. She survived 9th grade but with a great deal of struggle. She is now completing 10th grade and the struggle is still intense.
This week, I was called into school for a standard meeting. Present were her guidance counselor, her LRA teacher, my daughter and myself. The purpose of the meeting was to establish her program of studies for 11th grade. When I arrived, there was one other person present, the school psychologist. Instead of meeting in the common area, he moved us into a private room. Without going into lengthy descriptions, I had the feeling that I had been set up. The mood was less than positive - the LRA teacher kept talking about my daughter’s lack of enthusiasm. At one point, the psychologist turned to my daughter and said “I sense you are being hostile towards your mother”. Suddenly the mood shifted and went downhill from there. My daughter made a comment to me about the importance of homework, suggesting that I had told her that it was not as important as she believed. I was stunned! Nothing could have been farther from the truth! I had always offered help with homework (often turned down) but NEVER suggested that it lacked importance. To make a long story short, this caught me totally offguard. For the past two years, I have spent countless hours researching dyslexia and advocating for her with her teachers, etc. The psychologist suggested that I call him to set up an appointment at which time he would begin working with me and my daughter to resolve our differences. There had never been any communication problems at home! I was stunned! I left the meeting in tears.
That evening, my daughter seemed confused as to why I was so upset. She then rephrased her statement on homework and reaffirmed what I had always stated - that homework alone would not get her through school. She then told me how much she disliked the school psychologist; how he was always turning her words around. Once things had calmed down, I reflected on the events of that meeting and realized that the school psychologist, paid by the school district, would never suggest a problem with teachers or the school. He had evaluated the situation and concluded that any problems must stem from a conflict at home.
Thank God my daughter made the comment she did about him or I might well have been duped into believing that we needed this idiot’s counseling. My daughter and I had a wonderful conversation about her future, the pressure she experiences in a regent’s program and the need to slow down certain aspects of her learning.
Now, here is the situation:
In today’s mail, I received the paperwork that establishes the date and time for her IEP meeting. It looked the same as the previous two years with one MAJOR exception. The list of attendees now includes the school principal!!!, the two hall principals (the school is divided into two halls - freshmen/sophomores in one, juniors/seniors in the other), the school psychologist, the director for Pupil Services, the department head for the LRA program, and the usual members of such a meeting. This is truly a first!! I definitely smell something amiss. I may invite someone to accompany me and I am thinking about contacting the Int’l Dyslexia Org. or the NYS dyslexia org.
I would truly value any and all feedback from anyone in this forum who has experienced a similar situation. As an aside, I happen to work for the governor and know the top staff members responsible for state education. I don’t necesarily believe that fits the rationale behind their assemblage of key staff for this meeting but I sense they are up to something and wish to come prepared.
Thank you for your help.
Re: Upcoming HS IEP Mtg - I smell a rat!
I can’t offer the professional advice that Socks does,(she’s way smarter than me). But, I can tell you, that the schools always seem to find a way to turn it around to being the parent’s fault.
Also, I know with my dyslexic son, what he says and what he actually means, sometimes don’t come out the same, or aren’t precieved by “well meaning” adults as what he actually means.
They hear what they want to hear.
My son recently made a statement at school, that was misinterpted (sp), and turned around to be my fault.
We had been having a battle with one teacher about keeping a science notebook, he was suppose to keep all his homework, notes, tests, etc. for science in a notebook and turn it in at the end fo the 9 weeks. This was next to impossible for my highly disorganized son. Well the LD teacher said he would help him, and he did, but a week before time to turn it in, guess what, my son loses the whole notebook. The LD teacher was furious, and left his classroom to call me at work to tell me. When he left the classroom, I guess my son looked at the student teacher and said, he went to call my mom didn’t he, she said yes and his comment was ” I don’t care, she won’t do anything to me”. OH BOY!
did they go crazy with that one, they turned that statement into, my son saying, it doesn’t matter what he does, I’ll get him out of trouble. What that statement actually meant, was I’m 13 yrs old sitting in a classroom full of my friends, I’m tough and I’m not letting anyone think I’m afraid of my mom. It took me a long time to get to the bottom of all this, it just kept coming up, everytime I would go to a meeting at school, they would say, well you know he thinks he’ll get him out of anything he doesn’t want to do, etc. I just couldn’t figure it out. I have never gotten my son “out of trouble”, yes I do fight for a FAPE, but if he misbehaves, he pays the price. Anyway, at the last meeting, I finally said, where is all this coming from, they gave me their version of the statement. I told them what it really meant. But they were so eager to blame me, they heard what they wanted.
I know this is a bit of rambling, but just trying to say hang tough, and if they can find a way to blame the parent, they’ll try, to get them selves off the hook.
Re: Upcoming HS IEP Mtg - I smell a rat!
Thank you! I can certainly sympathize with your situation. My daughter is forever misplacing science labs, homework assignments, etc. Her LRA teacher called me at work about this. I suggested that he arrange with the lab teacher to set up a folder for her lab assignments and that the two of them agree on where it should be kept in school. This way, they know where it is and can help her with organization and time management.
Frankly, I don’t think this LRA teacher is competent to work with ld students, even though he is supposedly certified. He should have the suggestions, not me.
Carolyn
Re: Upcoming HS IEP Mtg - I smell a rat!
Thank you for some excellent advice.
I plan to contact the college and seek an IEP specialist to accompany me. In addition, I am now considering legal assistance from the folks at Wrightslaw.
The list of high level staff members invited to this IEP meeting suggests that they are scared. My guess is that it stems from the statement made two years ago when my daughter was assessed. The evaluator told me “in high school, we accomodate, we don’t remediate”. That statement was confirmed this week by my daughter’s LRA teacher when he held up her IEP, shook it and said “this is how we accommodate” (or words to that effect). He said this in front of witnesses - the school psychlogist and the Director of LRA. Are you familiar enough with IDEA? Is there a clause in there that stipulates remediation may only be given to children in grades pre-K through 8? I doubt it.
I asked my daughter this morning if she could tell me about the nature of the discussions she had with the school psychologist. She mentioned something about school being like a parent. I asked her if he at any time asked her about her dyslexia. She said, “no”.
At the Wrighslaw site, I found this as one excuse used by a school:
The new triennial evaluations have disclosed that the true problems are that the youngster is not motivated, that the real problems lie within the dysfunctional family, which is composed of a single parent or a couple with marital problems, which according to the “experts” is not an educational issue.
That would definitely fit the nature of the discussions between my daughter and the school psychologist.
Again, thanks for the great tips. Carolyn
Re: I smell a rat!
A couple of things come to mind.
First, If it smells like a rate, acts like a rat and responds like a rat, then you are probably correct. Also, parental gut instincts should not be dismissed lightly.
Secondly, if your employement is not of public knowledge to the district, keep it that way. Are you friendly with the big shots, including the governer? I would see about asking someone to come along as a personal friend thing, to be absolutely silent at the meeting, but come along as a friend for support and possibly take notes.
Third, 24 hours prior to the meeting, I would give notice that you wish to tape record the meeting, with the understanding that the district/school can tape record it also. I will be happy to provide tape recording advice prior to your meeting, so as to have as little trouble, and as much success as possible with this activity (you will need someone to come along and take care of this matter for you).
Furthermore, as Socks (who is always right :) posts, do as she suggests. I think you can ask for what purpose all the people are attending, this may be done at the begining of the meeting. You could possibly weed out a few, or at least keep them quiet during the whole deal. What you would do is isolate who legally had to be at the meeting. An administrator, the child’s teachers, the psych or whoever evaluated her… If there are more than one administrator, you could ask the purpose of having more than one, and that you are uncomfortable with the feeling of imbalance of power, and ask why it is neccessary. If there are others, who have not taught, evaluated or have anything to do with directly educating your child, they have no purpose in the meeting, so get them eliminated. Socks and others can elaborate on this, but the impression I get is the build up of power to have you be intimidated at the next meeting. You need not worry, but also, be prepared.
Go to the sites where the laws are posted, and cut/paste what is applicable in the areas that need addressing, including conduct and attendance at IEP Meetings. Have the papers with you in a notebook you can turn to by subject matter, mostly so you can draw strength from knowing more than any of them in the meeting regarding how they should be handling matters.
Getting back to one of the earlier suggestions, in my wildest dreams, it would be soooooooooooo cool to have the governer or someone way high up sit in as a “friend”, only giving thier name and saying they are there to support you and help take notes etc… If they could sit through this meeting unnoticed, they may get some valuable insight as to how out of whack things are for parents of ld children. You may have quite the opportunity to open some eyes and get some attention/help for yourself and others. I would not let this person think you are feeling persecuted, I would instead try to impress upon them that they could witness what happens to any and all parents in the same situation, as there really is nothing “special” about what your specific issues are… I suppose you get the picture.
Anyway, good luck and keep your wit(s) about you.
Andy
Re: If life was soo simple...
While I appreciate the kind words from Andy and Kathytoo,I am just a mom.
I,unfortunately,like Andy,AND Kathytoo,and like you are now experiencing,went through very same nightmare. I went through what you are going through,I became so obsessed with IDEA,I can pretty much quote while sleeping.
I am LD,survived public school,experience the spectrum of services. From a virtually closed setting in Elemtary,to no accomodations in HS,not that I didn’t need them,but well,this was before IDEA,and 504.
I have two boys who are ADHD/Gifted/LD,their dad is most likely ADHD.
I have just been there and done it. They say life is the best teacher. If I knew everything,life would just be too damn simple,wouldn’t it?
Re: Upcoming HS IEP Mtg - I smell a rat!
Why not agree with the school that she is not making effective progress and formally request that they re-evaluate her completely(if she is college-bound, you need a recent eval. to bring to the SAT folks for accomodations, and to colleges also); this will buy you time as well. Has she passed the regents’ exams for her classes, and does she have enough credits to become a junior? Has she taken the PSATs? I know several teens with mild LDs who are being privately tutored for class work and for the SATs. I think public high school does very little to remediate LDs; is private school an option?
Re: I smell a rat!
Thanks, Andy, for some more excellent suggestions. I especially liked your idea about bringing along a member of the governor’s staff and I have JUST the right person in mind. He is a member of the governor’s office for Charter School Development (guess I’ll have to finesse him into attending). I just finished reviewing much of the material at the www.lncb.org web site to see if any of this is applicable. Like many gov’t sites, what seems straight forward is later unclear. In any event, it seems that the No Child Left Behind accountability aspect kicks in this year!!! That may well explain why the big shots are invited to my daughter’s IEP meeting. The new program looks encouraging ….. if you have a young child in the lower grades. High schools, however, are also accountable and children not “making progress” as measured by whatever test they develop, qualify for gov’t funds to be remediated at any one of many possible organizations, both private and public.
When will the states have to follow this new law?
The new law takes effect in the Fall of 2002. That’s why it is critical that parents and educators are informed about the new reforms and improvements brought about by No Child Left Behind.
No Child Left Behind moves the testing of educational practices toward the medical model. Whenever the results of scientifically controlled studies (like clinical trials) are available, educators are expected to consider their results before making instructional decisions. Under the new law, federally funded education programs or practices must be based on evidence that validates their usefulness in achieving the stated outcome specified in law.
“For instance, there are five essential components of reading instruction: phonemic awareness, phonics, oral reading fluency, vocabulary development, and comprehension strategies.
These have all been validated through years of peer-reviewed and replicated scientific research into the practice of reading instruction. These findings were reported in the Congressionally mandated National Reading Panel report in April 2000 and have now been written into the new law. If you are more interested in this subject, call 1-800-USA-LEARN and request “Putting Reading First” for parents and “Reading Tips for Parents.”“
Phonemic Awareness … my daughter’s disability … is right there at the top of the list. It consoles me to know that some children will benefit from this change, even if it is too late for mine.
Have you or socks ever brought in a professional IEP writer? If so, where did you find them? Since my daughter was counseled at the college program for communication disorders, they have a dossier on her. Tomorrow I plan to call and ask if they can provide us with someone at her IEP meeting.
Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the mothers and grandmothers.
Carolyn
Re: If life was soo simple...
Happy Mother’s Day, Socks!
When you get a chance, read my post to Andy. It includes some of the information I have downloaded from the Leave No Child Behind website. That program kicks in for all schools, this year.
Carolyn
Re: I smell a rat!
Carolyn,
“I have JUST the right person in mind. He is a member of the governor’s office for Charter School Development (guess I’ll have to finesse him into attending). “
I can’t begin to tell you how cool it would be to get this guy to go to the meeting as a citizen and “friend” of yours, not in his official capacity. If you can impress upon him how much more he would get out of the meeting by attending it incognito, I think it would be fabulous. The entire context of the meeting would change if he introduced himself or if they knew who he was prior to his coming along. If he is even remotely “with it” in regards to how districts bully parents, then let him know this would be an inside shot for him to see what it’s like. Is there any chance he is in cahoots with school districts??? (paranoia runs rampant).
As far as when ANY EDUCATION LAW IS ENFORCED, it has more to do with WHO DOES THE ENFORCEMENT!!!! I have little faith in the police work of enforcing education codes. This has been the major problem for all time. There has not been a lack of laws protecting our children, simply the failure to enforce and hold districts accountable.
As far as an “IEP writer”, I have had an advocate attend some meetings, but then again, even with tape recording the meetings, the district administrator would write down other than what was agreed upon. I would review what was written and prior to the subsequent IEP meeting (which took 3 months to complete), I would re-write what was verbally agreed to and cross out what the administrator wrote. Finally, I asked for IEP papers (blank ones), and wrote the IEP as we understood the meetings to be, and hmmmmmmmm, go figure, they wouldn’t sign it after I had typed up what was discussed and tape recorded. What could possibly be wrong with that picture? Yes, we did go to hearing after this…
Oh, and Happy Mothers Day to all!
Andy
Re: I smell a rat!
Capital idea. Set em up for a ambush. Prepare questions that you know the answers to. Then go for the throat and don’t let go. These people are really light weights. They just know how to play the game and are used to beating ameteurs. It’s time they get a taste of the big leagues. They’ll crap their pants. All ya gotta do is change the rules and remember, the ball is always in your court.
TAKE NO PRISONERS!!
Re: Upcoming HS IEP Mtg - I smell a rat!
Put a request in writing for any scores on testing to be given to you ahead of the meeting. If I remember from two years ago your daughter’s reading scores were very low. As you stated they may be setting up to put the blame on the family and student. When you get the scores post them here for input. If you have scores over time you can plot them on an excel spreadsheet that will allow you to show via charts progress/lack of progress. Many times kids who are not making progress begin to feel defeated and depressed. It sounds like you have avoided this pitfall with your daughter.
Helen
I would get real proactive here.
I would send in the notice with a few additions myself.
1. Request prior written notice of any purposed changes or denial of current services,prior to the IEP. You have this right under procedural safeguards.
2. Inform them that you intend on taping the meeting.
3. Definitely bring someone with you.
As an equal member of the IEP,you have the right to being an informed participant,this means you have the right to know what will be discussed in regards to her now current placement.