Good neighbor, adopting it

It seems as though your students have needs that are clearly recognized but the system cannot meet all of their needs and offer them support through all their classes. That’s a shame but it’s a common occurrence.

I’m not familiar with a described curriculum called “Good Neighbor” but we need recognize that even if very effective it simply transfers the responsibility for these children from a teacher to the children themselves. Self-advocacy and self-reliance are certainly life’s most important skills but depending on the age of your students it can be asking a lot of them. What is it that leads you to believe that your students are ready to take on the challenge of a school year with reduced support from you? Is that you believe they’re ready to do this or that they simply must do this because your school has you spread thin already?

If you’re considering this program because you know that ready or not greater independence lies ahead for them, then your good neighbor program becomes a stopgap measure even a kind of well-intentioned grasping at straws. I have yet to meet the student who is able and willing to be there in all circumstances for another student as any teacher should be. The best of neighbors keeps a watchful eye on your house, brings in the newspaper, mows your lawn once in a while. They’re not a substitute for a caring teacher.

The only way to have a chance of successfully implementing such a policy would be from the top down. You would need the approval of your colleagues and their active support. Teachers would need to speak to it in their classes. They would need to actively encourage “good neighbor” relationships between students with learning differences and students without.

The “matches” or learning partners would best be established by adults between the various students with an eye to personality types and work styles. And is all this ok with the parents of the kids who don’t have learning differences? Are they on board with the idea that their children are offered the opportunity to support a student who needs it?

It’s too much to be left to the kids alone. Your good neighbor program needs to have other teachers as its first good neighbors.

Your students are fortunate to have a teacher who cares about their future and plans ahead for it. Good luck with it.

The good neighbor policy is in one of the articles on accommodation by Suzanne Stevens. It is just that a student is willing to help the LD student with getting notes, finding the page, etc. It is true that I would have to seek each every teacher because that is where it will be implemeted. The only reason why I would like to implement it, is because there is only one of me to go around for 22 students of grades 7th and 8th. I just worry that I might not be in the class with them, and they will become frustrated. The students really love having me in their class, they are comfortable with me, and even the reg. ed. students seek my assistance. I love helping them too. I just can’t be everywhere.

One more question Sara, I go into the classroom with a particular student. The class is language arts. The regular teacher and her don’t get along. She is extremely rude to him, she sits on the floor, shouts out inappropriate stuff (like, I hate this class, we never do anything in here, shut up stupid; that is to other students) I am in there as the special ed. teacher who is supposed to accommodate her. How can I when she refuses to work? Her mother has been contacted, and she admits she has little control over her. I am with her in other classes and she behaves. I spoke to her about this, but she said she won’t behave in there because she doesn’t like him. I can’t understand how he can ignore her behavior for so long. She eggs him on until he finally (20 minutes later) kicks her out. -Have you ever had a student that was rude or disrespectful towards you? How did you handle it? How am I supposed to advocate and help a student that treats me this way, or others, because she treats many others this way, including the principal. Thanks for taking the time to write me, I love your advice. Rebecca

As your describe your good neighbor in somewhat greater depth, I like it a lot. The kind of tasks you’re describing are things another student should be able to help with. Do students in your school have advisors or homeroom teachers? Maybe you could ask the regular teachers to suggest students who would be good and willing “good neighbors.” Then those teachers or yourself would approach them and ask if they would be good neighbors.

Some kids do really like the idea of being a mentor. Maybe you could make it into a club. Does your school have clubs? We have one for student guides. When a new student comes to our school, one of the student guides is assigned to guide them at least for the first week they’re in school. The guide is supposed to eat lunch with the new student and walk them to class. It’s a very popular thing and students usually ask to be allowed to be a guide.

If you could make it into a club, you might also be able to arrange a Saturday outing for the good neighbors and their students.

As to your other question, it would help to know more. You say she’s only rude to her language arts teacher but that she is rude to many others. Who are the many others if not teachers? Why if she does not like her language arts teacher does she take it out on othe students? That’s a question I’d certainly pose to her. Does she wish to be kicked out of the class? Is it a totally boring class in your opinion? Is getting kicked out of the class a kind of positive reinforcement for what’s she doing? If you’re in all her classes, do you see a difference between the classes in which she conducts herself appropriately and this language arts class where she does not? And what are her learning issues exactly? That may play a role.

We could brainstorm this a bit if you can offer some more information about what exactly is going on.

This particular student is cruel to other students also, especially the less popular ones. She was taken out my reg. ed. Science class because of her constantly picking on two other spec. ed. students. She is extremely social. The lang. arts class can be boring, but not terribly. Other students also act out in there. The teacher doen’t believe in kicking her out, which I agree with, but her behavior is so terrible that by keeping her in class with no limitations to her behavior it is almost as if it is ok. She won’t even listen to me in there, and in my math class, she usually does. I have had problems with her. I refuse to tolerate her picking on other students or being rude and disruptive, so she usually is pretty good for me. Also I truly show her I do like her, but sometimes it is really hard to.

She is also nasty to the principal. Two days ago she was in a fight with another girl. She hit her. She was sent to the office and argued with the principal for over an hour. (I don’t argue with her, it’s not worth it) She was very disrespectful towards the principal, but did not receive any kind of consequence for her behavior. She also (I do not support this class) was permanently removed from another class, because the woman (teacher) is her neighbor, and the “class is boring”. She also was very disrespectful.

The two classes she behaves in, she is “afraid of the teachers” she told me herself. The two teachers do not tolerate any misbehavior from any of their students. It just doesn’t happen.

She has a fraternal twin sister, who also receives spec. ed. services, but she is much higher functioning. I rarely deal with her sister. This student has language and math problems.

She is a leader, others follow her misbehavior. When she is not in the room, others behave.

Also, the teacher that is her neighbor told me that she and her siblings live in a mobile home that doesn’t always have running water, and is a dump to be quite frank.

She was receiving services for counseling, but they were ended when she decided not to cooperate.

That is all I can think of for now. I have a really hard time with her. But I know some things about her, 1. She loves to argue and get her way. How can I get around that? Thanks, Sara

What was her reaction when she was pulled out of your science class? Was she happy? Was she uncaring? How was her behavior in the new science class she went into?

This sounds like a very unhappy child and a kid who’s only seen one kind of interaction. Arguing with others. Does she attend school regularly? Does she do her homework? Does she hate school or enjoy the school day - even if it’s only because she gets to see her friends there?

I’d still like the answers to those questions but if the main teachers aren’t going to play a role, I”m not sure how much you can do in those two classes where she acts up a lot. Unless you’re willing to play the bad guy across the board and deal out consequences for her behavior in Language Arts, things won’t change much.

Unless the teacher changes. Any chance you could get the LA teacher on board with a behavior mod plan? Any chance you could influence the LA teacher to kick her out of class even if it goes against his principles?

My school does not encourage us to kick kids out of classes and I don’t like doing it, but there are some circumstances that merit it. I explain it to myself by saying if a student’s interaction does not support the community that is a classroom, they have to leave the community. They’re welcome back when they feel they can be productive again. Students in my experience hate being kicked out of the classroom even though I usually do it quietly, calmly and even with caring. Could we get the LA teacher to see it that way?

That loving and getting her way could be a way she gives herself a sense of control in her life as her life clearly has little control in it. It could also be learned behavior modeled after behavior she’s observed frequently.

I wouldn’t argue with this kid. Even if I had to turn to her and say “I don’t want to hear it. I usually want to hear everything my students want to share with me but all I’m going to hear is why you think you can go on doing this. You’re disruptive in some of your classes. You’re not disruptive in every class so I know you can control yourself. Some students cannot control themselves and have behavioral disorders but since you do, you can. That’s the good news and I’m happy for you. The bad news is you choose to make some peoples’ lives miserable and that’s cruel. What do you get out of being cruel?”

I’d be talking fast and firm - no interruptions permitted - and I’d get loud if she did interrupt. “You’re not going to like hearing this and I really don’t like having you tell you how obnoxious you are to some of the students sometimes. I’m embarrassed for you and sometimes I’m ashamed of the way you act.” I would take the stance of I care about you and we all have our reasons but the reality is we all come to school each day and you’re making people’s lives miserable. I appreciate that some classes are more interesting than others but I detest the way you pick on special education students.” (I’d get really cold on this matter)

I could go on in that vein but that’s how I demonstrate to kids that their behavior is completely unacceptable when I have to. I wouldn’t see such a “conversation” as a quick-fix but I would see it as a start. From that point on, whenever she pulled her stunts, I’d get up and walk away in faked disgust.

But that means you put a lot on the line because you’re playing the bad guy.

I’d still be interested to know the answers to the questions above because it might offer a different doorway into this interesting student.