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Let's Drop the Hostility!

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

As a parent, I’ve died a thousand times at the indignities, the oversights, and the apathy that my son has been subjected to in the public school system. There is nothing like watching your very own special child suffer.

But on the other hand, I’ve also seen some wonderful teachers at work for my son, who have enhanced his life in ways that I could not have imagined.

The bottom line is that most teachers that I have dealt with care, and do the best that they can for my child most of the time, given the lack of time, the limited resources, and the overwhelming number of students to which they are expected to give top-quality instruction. (And I live in Florida, not a particularly teacher-friendly state.)

Teachers, please go back and read between the lines on K.’s postings. She has a brother in his mid-teens and her older brother is twenty-two. Her intelligence has fooled you into thinking she is much older than she probably is. I know this will sound patronizing, but her impulsive postings probably come from the rashness of youth, and although her anger and frustration are well-deserved and rational, they are somewhat misplaced. Where else can she go but here?

I appreciate all the of the teachers who contribute to this board, for their insights and experiences. I don’t always agree with what you say here, but I think this is a proper forum for intelligent discussions and disagreements. I sincerely hope that you continue to use this board. You’ve been a tremendous help.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 5:48 AM

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Wow! I’ve been a little behind here the last few days. I think you have brought up some good observations about K.’s age and circumstances, Tired Mom. However, I will say that there is one post down below (not by K. ) that I find so unbelivably offensive that I think the person should be banned from this board altogether. I intend to make this known to the owners of this board.

Janis

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 7:28 AM

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Been arouind the boards for a long time and things go in cycles….when anger flares up on the boards, I wonder if it has something to do with the summer heat that everyone must be experiencing. Another thing I have noticed is that it seems easier for some people to say impolite things when on the internet because they aren’t facing the person they are attacking. They get on a roll with their postings and later on during the day they realize that they were out of line but they can’t take the nasty words back as they are online for everyone to read and it in turn can enrage more people.

Just ignore the bashing and the nasty posters and they will eventually get the message. I learned that the more one tries to put out fires the worse they become.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 10:06 AM

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In general I agree and I tend not to contribute to threads where the posters seem to be in that mode. Folks with that level of “need to get it out of my system” really want an ear and mabe some affirmation. The ear is guaranteed and most times the affirmation comes as well.

I would also like to see the offensive poster banned or deleted. Those posts are an insult to all- parents, students and teachers.

I also miss the expertise of the folks who no longer post here- whatever the reason they have stopped…

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 1:08 PM

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I’ve come to rely on these boards over the last year, and what makes it unique here is the high quality of input from professionals and parents alike. Let’s stay productive!

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 2:03 PM

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This happens to me a lot. People assume that becuase my siblings are young I am also. I am not really that young but thank you maybe I am consider young to some. I am thirty years old, 2/11/72, I guess maybe you say could that my age is what contributed to my irrational posting, I consider 30 young also.

My parents tried very hard to have children 2 years apart but it didn’t work that way but once my mom got started after my 22 year old brother was born, she couldn’t stop!! I think it is kind of funny that I always have to explain this, people just assume I am young.

At any rate, I am not that young, my rashness, anger, and frustration come from banging my head against a wall in a district that doesn’t care. I have no doubts that their are wonderful teachers. In reading my post I am sure you noticed that I mentioned that I have had wonderful teachers and that my brother had a wonderful special ed specialist who was so fantastic, I could”t say enough wonderful things about her. Without her at school everyday with my brother I can’t imagine what would have happened to him. She was like a second mother, a school mom, she took such great care of him,it is such a shame that he can’t have her as teacher any more.

I am not sure how so many people can misunderstand each other, but that is ok. As I also mentioned I am sick and have decided that my frustrations will be better heard in a journal or to a friend or to the special ed advocate who I work with. I will not post anything teacher related again, it is not healthy for me, I need to let it go. I need my health to help my siblings and my son.

So thanks for thinking I was fooling you with my intelligence but I wasn’t, appearnces can be deceiving!!

K. :)

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 3:09 PM

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My apologies to you K. I knew I was being slightly patronizing, but I thought the levels of hostility were over the top, and I just wanted people to stop attacking you. I can see why they felt the need to defend themselves, but perhaps in doing so, they lost sight of what the goal of this particular board is. I was shocked that someone who so clearly needed help was dealt with in such a hateful, vituperative fashion.

Any parent who posts on this board knows well your pain and frustration. My heart goes out to your family, and I hope you find solutions, perhaps even here.

And to the teachers who felt attacked, please know that I, at least, and probably many other parents, support and admire you. If you are taking the trouble to use the parent’s board, then you are undoubtably amongst the exceptional few from whom we all wish our children could benefit. I’ve worked with my son side-by-side, trying to teach him, and I think: Multiply this one hour that I’ve spent by six, and the one child that I’ve worked with by at least 10 children (or as many as thirty). What difficult work!

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/15/2002 - 3:30 PM

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<…..And to the teachers who felt attacked, please know that I, at least, and probably many other parents, support and admire you. If you are taking the trouble to use the parent’s board, then you are undoubtably amongst the exceptional few from whom we all wish our children could benefit…..>

I agree, my posts were about my teachers*, and I understand the reason to defend them, if someone posted negatively about a parent, the other parents would obviously defend them.

The teahcers, educators, and therapist who post on this board have always been extremely helpful to me, I have learned a lot about my families disabilities through them. and I hope that at my brothers new school, he has the chance to experience success with some wonderful teachers. It would be such a relief to know that he is enjoying school and that he is getting the attention and the help he needs! A little self esteem booster is definately needed in our house!

Thanks
K.

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