no ident. or pulling from sped, regrets?

You can drop in and out.
Or at least we can :-)

When my oldest went to middle school and did
fine, the team called me and wanted to put him
in regular ed.

I wasn’t sure what to do so I called out state’s (WA)
parent support organization and she said, ‘he will
always have a diagnoses of LD, they can’t take that
away, so if you think he is doing fine then he should
go to regular ed.’
And he did and is doing very, very well now as a
soon to be junior in high school - advanced placement
classes and senior level classes.

Youngest brother, much more dyslexic.
He went to middle school this year and, yowy zowy,
a young sped teacher who was flummoxed by her ADHD
kiddos and the class was a zoo. My son got zero attention.

So we pulled him out, told the team that we still wanted him
classified as being in sped. Off the deep end into reg. ed.
A LOT of work for son and mom.
Inclusion does not exist at this school.
I did everything, all modifications, reminding, nagging, negociating.

And we did, after four months of attempting to set this up, we
got him on an hour a day, every other day, computer program
designed for dylexics. He did this program in ‘kid jail’, the time
out room with the time out jailer. He thought it was amusing,
he liked the teacher and it all worked out, despite my initial
horror of having my child in the ‘kid jail’.
Asperger’s children are also sent to hang out with the kid jailer
when they zone out.

Next year the sped teacher is a big man with high expectations
so young son is going back to the two sped classes available, language
arts and study skills.

Moral of the story - flexible is good.
I always tried to make decisions with my son’s self esteem and
stress level first and foremost in my mind.
And always did work outside of school with him - this summer
we do every other day reading comp. with weekends off.

Anne

Little lulu,
Special ed and schooling has made me more than “little lulu” :). I have pondered this question all though in our case my son would fail more without the necessary accomodations. I do think in some classes he would do better bcs the preconceived notion that my son is a flunky all of the time would not be there. The stress for what we get to help our son is not worth it.

Our son will go to middle school without support from special ed. and he and we are happy. We will continue tutoring and lots of work at home. In our affluent suburban middle school the resource room is for behavior, discipline and slow learners to finish homework; there is no concentrated remediation for reading and writing. We know he will have to continue to work far harder than his peers, but he’s very excited about middle school and is very organized and driven and I think he’ll do OK…we’ll see.

Anne,

I had no idea you could go in and out (possibly). I thought once you refused services, or they told you that he was no longer eligible that was the end of it.

The decision is based on exactly the same issue, self-esteem. He’s going into 5th and them pulling him out has been an issue since 1st grade. It makes him nuts, so I’m thinking that all of this table pounding and complaining that I am doing on the boards here is fruitless in the grand scheme of things if its killing his self-esteem.

I just don’t want to let him down or create a worse scenario by discontinuing services. Although he would love that!

Thank you for your advice.

I must really show from my posts that this is how I came up with my author name, huh? You got me! (LOL)

That’s what I’m thinking too, the stress vs. what we are really getting isn’t worth it. But I’m torn. I guess we could wean him this year. Next year he goes to Jr. High (middle school for some). So maybe we go for it and by next year we’ll know for sure whether he can fly solo or not.

Thanks.

Our resource room is basically the same as you describe. Our downfall is organization though. Lucky for you that it is one of your son’s strengths. Good luck to him in the fall! We face the big step to middle school next year, YIKES!!!

My two good LD-MOM friends and I have a
system we call Stealth Mommy.

An example -
In our district we have essay writing tests that must be
passed in 9th and 10th grade - this is a really big deal.
Lots of stress, even on my wonderkid writing daughter.
They are done in two hours. That’s it. You don’t get
the type of essay you are to write until right before
the class. You don’t get any input, help or guidance.
This was to make sure that each child really knows how
to write. They do it as a measure of how well their
writing program is - and to correct what they considered
very lax writing programs in the middle schools.

Sped kids have all sorts of modifications for these
but one mom’s son wasn’t in sped classes. Too many
behaviour problems in these classes that this shy, sweet fellow would
have suffered from.

So he and his mom researched subjects suitable for
the two essay types (persuasive and compare and contrast),
He wrote the essays, mom corrected, he rewrote, mom
edited. They ended up with two passable essays.
Then he memorized each essay, word for word to write
out the day of the test.

My example of Stealth Momminess was not to have my
son read his social studies text. As a dyslexic reader by the
time he decoded a whole paragraph he had no idea what it
meant. He was just decoding word after word. If I read it to
him he couldn’t pick out the main points from the padding.
(I loved the book being a history nerd and loved all the little
details.)

I turned each chapter into a comic book. I mined the text for
the facts and then wrote them out comic book style with
pictures, maps, illustrations and lots of humor when I could. Some
periods of history have very little humor!

Then when my son brought home the test (I negotiated open book
tests for him) he would take my comic books and look for the answers.
I’m betting that he had an overall better understanding of the material
than a good portion of his class. This was illustrated this summer when
he started pulling in concepts and references to ancient civilizations that
we studied this winter.

Anne

What a great idea! Maybe you can market these books. Hang on to them!

I’m taking a masters in teaching certificate next year
and I’m hoping that I can use them as one of my
requirements…..

Anne

You hit on the key for me. As long as the info goes in, stays, and is accessible for later use who cares how it got there. It’s called learning.

SAR - tell me abut the “very organized” part. I’ve got the “driven” part in my 4th grade daughter, but organized she’s not. Did you help him with this area or did he come up with his own ideas? I am really look for some good solid ideas to try with her and try to get her reg. ed teacher to help. We only have 2 years until middle school and I feel like this is the only area we need ALOT of work on. She’s very bright, and has the drive to make A’s, but not the drive to be organized. And she’s not worried about it. My favorite (??) quote from her is when I said, “You have to get organized or you are not going to make it in this world”. She replied, “MOM, I’m going to make it, I have plans!” Geez, how do you argue with that?

What isfthey change one of the essays to a narrative? My daughter who is LD can write a very basic (goes by the rules) essay - the “no frills version”. Her best friend, a GREAT writer, failed the assessment this year b/c she got her 2 essays mixed up and did a narrative for the expository. The teacher felt horrible.

My daughter is under the special ed umbrella. She is under 15 min consult only (called monitoring by some). This way she can receive OT services through the school but I provide my own intervention. My evaluator told me when she tested her: Do NOT put her in special ed. Do this: meaning LMB and SI OT. The school told me “If she’s not in special ed, she can’t receive services”. What they didnt tell me is what my evaluator told me (a former school psych). “Tell them you want 15 min consult only and write on the form ‘Parent declines all other services at this time’.” They weren’t too amused by my knowledge. We, like SAR, decided to provide our own intervention. It has worked well. On 15 min consult, once a week the ESE teacher and gen ed teacher are SUPPOSED to talk re: your child. That way if your child starts taking a nosedive they know about it before it gets too bad. I just have to make sure that’s happening.

My son would have qualified for LD services (am LD teacher in the know) in Language Arts area but instead of putting him through testing, identification, and eventually being left in the “inclusion” setting due to skills not being severe enough for services - I just had the school always place him in the classroom that was being served by the SPED teacher under inclusion heading. He did great, had the help he needed and never got the label. Do I think this is best for all kids with need for LD services? No. But he had a parent who could/did work very closely with the school to support their program and reinforce it at home. As an example, we would always read the stories for the next week the weekend before. That way when he read the stories with the class, he already knew what was going to happen and could concentrate more on his reading and less on the comprehension. He worked very hard and made super progress. You have to do what is best for everyone, but working together is the solution.

Parent support, student willingness to put out the effort are the major keys to success. The successes I see are due to student’s work ethic and willingness to ask for help when needed are far more important then the constant battle to remediate. Post secondary education needs to be carefully considered.

Well, they seem to be married to
persuasive and compare and contrast.

The high school is pretty cut and dried.
When my daughter was very ill and
missed school for two and a half months
their first instinct was to wash their hands
of her.
Enroll her in the alternative school
which is full of very rough characters (I’ve
taught there.) This school is kindof like a
stopping point between school and juvie
(And I taught there, too.)

It is not the place for a straight A, medically
fragile, straight laced little girl. But that is what
they wanted to do, just shove her off to that
program.

You can imagine the fireworks on my end!

Anne

You all are awesome, wish you were the parents of some of my students. This is parenting of a SPED child. It isn’t a 7 hour a day problem, it is 24/7 for life and how cool that your kids have such smart parents. These are the kinds of things I have done with my son. It isn’t cheating it is compensating - don’t we all do that in life? I would cry if I had to change a tire, but I could because I know with fortitude it is possible. Many of the parents I deal with don’t want to have anything to do with academics outside of the school day. I deal with high school students and these parents think their kids are going to college - right!

Well, I’m not sure that I would agree with what you assume the motives are for parents who “do not want to have anything to do with academics outside of the school day.”

I’m sure we all deal with the frustration and emotional levels of a child with LD, it comes with the package. After 7 hours (which if done appropriately, should be enough) they are FRIED!

Now, to have to go over it again, and possibly again with another person’s approach and teaching style, holy smokes! There is only so much their little brains can take. They have to be kids too.

I know I get grumpy when I have to bring home work from my job night after night. Now imagine if it didn’t make sense to me, yet I had to have it done by morning, and now I have my husband hanging over my shoulder trying to explain it to me with his intrepretation, YIKES!

I would guess that many parents’ intentions are not laziness in these instances. Most likely it is what we are advised to do, make home a non-threatening safety zone. I do not know how to teach a struggling child how to read, that’s what I pay the professionals for. But for private instruction (tutoring) money tends to run short. They should be getting it in school, that’s why teachers are considered the trained professionals, right?

It should be noted that when children have problems with organization, planning as well as some other neuropsych symptoms they have difficulty with self-intiation and self-regulatory planning. So, them asking for help is part of their disability. They just don’t know when and/or how to ask for it.

I think teachers should be aware of this and avoid placing blame and the lack of success on these issues. If they are aware this this is an issue with some LDs they can intervene appropriately instead of saying that the child never asks for help and with therefore not succeed.

I like this a lot. Thank you. I also like your statement “they weren’t too amused by my knowledge.”

I like this one too! My younger son hasn’t been tested yet, but I know something is up. I’m hesitating on having him tested since I’m not happy with how they intevene with my older one.

The problem I am running into on getting outside help for him is that they want the full case eval in order to help him. Or I get the did you get an order for the pediatrician?

My older has been diagnosed with CAPD along with other things. I initiated it myself through the neuropsych. I am almost convinced the younger one has the same things going on. Called to get an appt. for a screening from the audiologist that does it, he wants a script from the pediatrician. I just said I had it to make the appt. Now i have to go through all of this again from the beginning.

I guess there’s no slack cut for experience.

And for some of the reasons you listed - school has some of the same constraints. What the stealth moms are doing is covering the information in a different way that meets the learning styles of their children. I am not suggesting that parents reteach what was taught in the same way. With children who are learning disabled it often just means that you do it differently or more meaningfully. This is difficult to do for each child in each area within the confines of the day. I never meant to imply a repeat of what doesn’t already work. The suggestions made to the parents referred to in the earlier post were unwilling to take any time to discover what might work. I spend a lot of my own time in search and discovery - kids should do this too - and find out how they can learn best. Don’t wait for the professionals to tell the kids - they know what is easier for them. And then we can all support this. My kids always used the index card system for everything they had to learn - not the standard method - as an example.

Too often we want to make the adults take responsibility for those things that kids find difficult. Yes, even bordering on impossible. But if they work together, the child learns to compensate for this areas of weakness. It isn’t that the kids can’t learn things that are tricks, it is hard and should be worked on more. Teachers can facilitate student practice but the student must understand that they are the only person they will live with for the rest of their life and must take responsibility, with help. You can’t imagine how many helpless high school students I work with who have never said “I can” and have continued to support the “I can’t” position. This is called learned helplessness and is so prevalent at the high school level - you would be shocked. Repeatedly the parents of these students want to blame the system and find explanation rather than work with us to stop it. I, too, have a child who struggles but he is always told he can and we try and figure out how that can happen. If it means he has to work twice as hard as his peers, then that’s what he has to do. We are always nearby to assist. I have figured out more ways to learn social studies concepts then you could even imagine.

I have to agree. I think the one positive thing my husband pulled out of his life with “dyslexia” is an incredible work ethic. He is someone who never says die. So despite “dyslexia” he is very successful in every area of his life.

He went to work the other day with 103 temp. The knucklehead. LOL

While I am a sub for special ed I do guard my time.

So when things started going downhill for us in social
studies I stopped answering the sub line.
You could call me more of a sahm than a working sub
during those times.

So I have the time and resources to do the stuff I do.

The parents I really feel for are the ones who were
themselves LD in school and probably never were
diagnosed.
School was one big horror for them and deep down they
almost think that if they confront their child’s teacher
that they are going to be humiliated all over again.
They probably don’t even realize it - it is just an
anxiety they feel. They might come off as can’t be bothered,
no big deal, you’ll get over it or they view all teachers
with contempt and pass that attitude onto their children.

My husband is the dyslexic in the family. I was the goody-two
shoes, excellent student. I loved school and could hardly wait
for it to begin - all this makes the extra work rather fun for me.
I enjoy trying to find the keys to my son’s mind.

Stealth mommy-ing isn’t going to work for all moms.
Wouldn’t work for me if my son’s problems were in math -
that’s why I married an engineer - well, not really but all
higher science and math get handed off to Dad ;-)

Anne

I know what you mean—my son’s mind works so differently than mine. I was always an abstract thinker and could memorize anything in little time. But with my son I have realized that he had to have everything related to something he already knows. So suddenly we had continents where his baby sitter was from (central america), the only continent mommy and daddy had visited (europe), the one where daddy’s aunt live (australia). He drew pictures for each and then bounced on a ball to learn them. And then my husband bought him a big map for his room. Now he is probably the only kid in the class who still knows his continents!!!

Now I am not up to comic strip textbooks, although it does sound like a great idea to me!!!

Beth

I bet he had/has great parents!

Have you tried using colors for different subjects? My child seem to become more organized when the math book, math journal and math workbook all had a blue circle on them; the same for science (yellow), social studies was red, language arts was green, etc. There were also the same color coordinated folders for keeping homework, worksheets, and tests in.