LD and acceptance

I don’t believe that LD necessarily classifies you unpopular. I think if people are comfortable associating and socializing in that specific setting then it would be beneficial. But most people do not wish to be identified by their disabilities.

In the grown up world, there are not many exceptions made or allowed for LD people. They have to assimilate if they want to succeed. Do you really want to KNOW that your doctor, dentist or someone who manages your money has a learning or attention disability and they go to a “special group” for it?

Yes, I know that there are definitely WONDERFUL professionals out there with LD and ADHD and all that good stuff, but I don’t think it would benefit us (as clients) to have this information. We would not cut them any slack for these disabilities and this is probably something they want to keep private; like most people with LD.

I agree with the idea of educating LD people differently. I think it is essential to give them the opportunity to find how they achieve personal success in an environment that is not threatening. It has to be conducive to learning at their rate without skipping over and modifying for the sake of “keeping up” with the rest of the class.

But when it comes to socialization, I believe it IS beneficial that children be exposed to the real types of people in the world. That’s just the way it is out there.

When they become adults, like it or not, incapacitating LDs are not acceptable in the work world. People who display their difficulties are labled even worse than when they were children; but now the cost is even higher; limited earning power. And above all, there ARE things we just keep private and we each choose, individually, what that is about ourselves and just deal with it.

Mamm:

I disagree that the outside world you pay a price for LD identification: The way to get around not being for instance considered for a promotion is to document accomplishemnts. Also, if more people started LD buisnesses, there might be better chances to get promoted to head honcho. Alot of more opporitunities in the big cities too. New York City you could spend the majority or all your life there never having to have friends outside your ethnic or religious group and those people do fine… Why hide this ? If there are a huge number of support groups why worry ? Seeking acceptance is a proposition that will in some cases never come true. Anyway, the treatments or programs that could lessen LD effects alot of time are expensive and out of reach for people who do not have $$ or political savvy to get the services or treatments. Anyway, things come out fine.

Gee, maybe you haven’t paid a price. The fact is that many people do. As long as you don’t believe this little piece of reality, your argument “why hide” just won’t sell. It’s like saying “why not jump off a building - you can fly!”

LD doesn’t mean that you automatically become a social outcast in school with your peers. I think that it depends on how the parents, teachers and the child herself approach the label. The kids at my daughter’s school judged kids as kids. The problem that I had was with the teachers not her peers. My daughter had been in a resourse room all through ele school and was in inclusion in middle and high school. She was very popular and was a varsity cheerleader. She is an only child so I took her everywhere when she was an infant until she started school at age 6. The kids got to know her as Jackie, not the ld kid before she even started school. Once she was identified, nothing changed socially for her. She also danced, was in beauty pageants ( I used them as finishing school) and did some modeling. All these were done to give her dicipline and the edge that she needed in life. I didn’t treat her any differently than my mother treated me. All of this worked very well, she is making it, in college and twenty-four. Don’t get me wrong, she had a lot of problems with behavior and teachers, but never with the kids. She was excepted for who she was, not how she learned.

Well… if LD people are so worried about being tagged as LD, just approach the government and try to negotiate something like the Oslo Accords and set up an LD Authority, our own pharmacies, police, health services, banks etc. That way we can teach the world we can manage our affairs and actually come out ahead.

I am not worried that my child will be tagged LD. I would be worried that he would encounter adults who want to tag him LD and fill his head with things that a child doesn’t need to worry about.

My son knows that his brain learns differently than his best friends brain. He understands the concept that not everyone is identical, that is what makes the world an interesting place and what makes him unique. His friends don’t care how he learns, that has nothing to do with their friendship!

I have three siblings and my son who have learning differences but that is what they are differences. Only an adult would suggest separating the people who are different, the people they don’t understand. I am glad to say that having these differences has turned out some pretty great kids so far, one is 22 and another is 18. They are compassionate, understanding, and giving people, in part becuase of their differences, they learned not to judge people based on one thing!

People are usually afraid of what they don’t know and understand.

K.

Dear AA:

Why can’t you join a book club and use books on tape? Most best sellers, which is what books clubs generally read, are available on audio cassette and CD. There is no reason that you must only limit your choices of groups and social activities to LD type social events, why not just make the event fit your needs?

I am definintely going to be in the minority in disagreeing with you, pardon the spelling. I understand that there are kids who suffered unthinkable amounts of teasing and terrible acts of cruelty. I understand that just becuase it hasn’t happened to any of my four LD kids, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I just think that kids can’t be taught in school what they aren’t learning at home. I don’t every remember my siblings, my son, or myself teasing or being teased for being a different learner. I remember that my siblings were usually teased for our clothes, not our brains, unfortunately our parents didn’t have a lot of money.

I think that children don’t learn to be judgemental and unforgiving on their own, they learn it from adult. So maybe that is where the real focus should be?

K.