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Observations by a 14 year old

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

I had a very interesting converstaion last night with my 14 year old LD son. I almost got the sneaking suspision he came on the board and read some of these messages. Last night he brought up the fact that if he were to go back to ND he would now do very well almost at the top of the class but here he is one of the “dumbest” kids in the regular ed program. Funny thing is when we were here the 1st time he atteneded school here Pre-K to mid 1st, he was in the middle of evaluation for LD, but then we got orders to ND. When we arrived at ND they stated that my son had no LD issues that he was ahead of all the students there. In 3rd grade they decided he was no longer doing well and suggested an LD evaluation, he did not qualify for services then. They retested him in 4th, 5th, and 6th, in 6th he finally qualified as a student with a language disability (in 5th dx’d with ADD inattentive type, after 3 seperate evals-private). In ND he received pullout services for spelling only, although his reading was tested and documented to be 3 years behind. When we arrived back in Illinois in 2000 start of 7th grade they proclaimed this child has moderate to severe LD issues, they recommended placement in self contained LD classes for reading, writing, and math. He completed 2 years of this placement. On end of grade 8th grade testing he scored well enough to take all regular ed classes. Two weeks into 9th grade with support in regular ed classes he is holding his own. He has NO missing assignments-1st time since 2nd grade, no tardies, uses his planner, has sought out help on OWN 3 times so far. He went in earlier to school once and stayed late once. Why the change in behavior? I believe it is do to the success he has experienced so far. Although he is not a straight A student he feels successful. I feel this could be in jeapordy though because they are emphaszing his need to try harder because students MUST be at least a B student to get into college. He asked me last night why don’t the schools reward the students that work hard. He said sure I may have to work harder to do well in college but if I am willing why cant I go to the college of my choice. He understands with his grades he can get into some colleges but not all and he feels that is not right. He stated he felt there was a definite inequity in the school system. Go figure that from a 14 year old.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/29/2002 - 2:11 PM

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One of my son’s therapists’ oldest son has LD. He squeeked through high school with lots of help from her. Spent three years in a junior college living at home where she worked with him to become more independent. Then transferred to a regional state school a few hours from home where he maintained a B average. She just sent him to graduate school—nervously, I might add.

Anyway, you might tell your son that many hardworking students who don’t have the grades start with a junior college and then transfer. A C average will not keep him from pursuing a college education, if that is what he wants.

Beth

P.S. You are in Illinois, aren’t you? I have a friend whose LD daughter is in a special program at SIU for LD kids and doing very well. We worked together when her daughter was in high school and I think we were both worried she would never graduate, much less attend college.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/29/2002 - 2:36 PM

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Maybe the teachers need to be clued in as to how he is taking their words. I know theyre doing the right thing in the broad sense of the word but may not realize how ‘to heart’ your kid is taking their words. Oddly enough, 80% of the kids who the words ARE meant for probably arent listening.

I heard once that the majority of people in “whos who” were C students.

And, to whine on a personal note, Im a college grad-with honors-from whats often considered one of the top 10 universities in the nation and Ive been unsuccessfully jobhunting for 3 mos. And Im not looking for anything major-20 grand a year to help pay bills and Im fine! Im on the board putting off my inevitable fate-deciding between blockbuster or kmart(assuming THEYLL hire me)

A college degree is NOT all it’s cracked up to be.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/29/2002 - 3:56 PM

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Also there are different levels of colleges. I have a Senior LD student who I am looking at colleges for. If a student was accepted into a top notch school because of effort and not grades and test scores they may end up in over there head. They would be competing with all the 4.0’s. I am looking at schools that will take his grades and his scores and also give him the college experience of living away at a dorm. The big thing here is our state UC system. The freshmen class sizes are 250-400 in most lecture classes. I can’t see either of my kids fitting into that kind of environment. If my younger son is likely to have the grades and test scores to qualify for the UC system but I would rather see him in a private school with smaller class sizes.

Helen

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/29/2002 - 4:00 PM

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It is just not the teachers giving the word and that could be the problem. Yesterday they had an assembly for the students about the importance of college and what it takes to get in. I think the speaker was from one of those schools every parent wants their student to get into. They passed out surveys asking the students what their current GPA was, what track they are in, what area they wanted to study, what type of college to attend ect. Some of the students who know my son made comments like don’t bother you won’t need it. I think I need to bring this up to the guidance counselor so she can tell him about all the different avenues.

I hear what you are saying about getting a job and wish you the best of luck in finding something soon. I do not have a college degree but will of spent 20 years in the AF as a medic when I retire. All I ever hear from prespective employers is what degree do you have? I am very nervous about my uncoming retirement. Going to college and getting the degree is an option but I feel my skills are so poor I would have to start with developmental math and language courses to do well in college. I already find it hard sometimes to help my kids with their homework so would I ever make it in college. Oh well may have to find a junior college and go there myself.

Yes, Beth we are in Illinois you have a good memory. I am aware of a few good colleges here in Illinois for LD students it will just be a matter of finding the money to get him in. Thanks for the positive input of SIUE that is one of the schools we were looking at, it is nice to hear it went well for someone.

Good luck to all in the new school year.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/29/2002 - 7:02 PM

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Just go to show that having difficulty in reading or attention problems does not equate with being stupid.

At one time someone on this board posted a website that listed dozens of famous and successful people who made their mark despite havine LD’s or attention problems. Perhaps your son could benefit a little from seeing that just because you have a few extra hurdles does not mean you can’t make it.

Going to the college of your choice is not always an option, even for students who do not have the extra challenges. Some of the more elite schools will screen out even those who would be seen as academic leaders in their high school. For others it is not admission that is the problem, but coming up with the scratch to cover the tuition (is any sheepskin really worth paying $30K/year as an undergrad?).

And there is far more to intelligence than spelling or other bookwork. Sounds like your boy has a decent portion of common sense and perhaps more than a smidgeon of reading people, neither of which can be taught, and both of which are also key components for success.

I think he will do all right, if he can get a goal he believes in to work towards (like perhaps special education atty?)

PS: I think you should encourage him to read this board. There are a lot of good people here who have literally centuries of practical experience between them. A fella could do a lot worse on the Net than scrolling thru this place ;)

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/29/2002 - 7:42 PM

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Lisa,

My friend’s child is at the Carbondale campus but maybe they have the same program at all of them.

All my family is in Illinois so maybe that is why I remember!!

Beth

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