Group projects

Was this pairing voluntary or teacher directed? The reason I ask is if it was child driven this ladies daughter is well aware of your daughters strengths and weaknesses. Her choosing your daughter as a partner shows she is willing to accept and work with your daughter and the pairing should not matter. Perhaps your daughter has a particular strength and she can use it during the project. My 9th grade son is also in the middle of a group project, he is paired with a gifted student. This pairing was of the students choice they to are friends. My son is responsible for the hands on portion of the assignement. He has come up with designs and built the boat. His partner who happens to be good at the acedemics is writing the report and recording the trails. Just because 1 child is gifted or even of average skills and 1 is not does not mean that the child who happens to be “slower” is hindering the group. My son learns from his friend and his friend learns from him. His friend learns how to percevier despite failure, how to think outside the box, ect. If the pairing is of the teachers doing perhaps you can talk to your childs friend and see how she precieves things. I know as a parent I can be over protective and percieve problems when there are none. Just some thoughts.

My sons friend he is partnered with mom called me once concerned that her gifted son was hanging out with my LD son and that this may hinder him. I asked her if my son did anything in particular that made her not want her son to be friends with mine, she said, “no, I just don’t want my son to loose his skills because he is hanging out with someone who is not stimulating”. I suggested she talk to her son to find out why he was friends with my son and what his opinion was of them not getting to be friends. He told his mom that the reason he was friends with my son was because my son understood him better then the “average” students. He went on to say my son did not call him names like nerd or geek just because he got good grades. When she asked him why he did not hang out with other kids like him he told her because they only think about themselves. Both boys appreciatte each others strengths and weakness and neither considers themselves better then anyone else. The point is we don’t always get to see the big picture. Hope things go well for you and your daughter.

My older two are gifted and my oldest worked at a car wash during the summer and after school last year. As a high school junior he had the 2nd highest level of education there-most were dropouts, often from 8th grade

I had some reservations-my son started to talk about how these guys had their own apartments and how he could live on 6.50/hr if he ate Ramen noodles ;)-but my son had more “FUN” with these kids than he did at high school. He fit in there-snapped towels and did all that ‘guy stuff’. He just didnt fit in high school with what he called the ‘jocks’ and ‘preps’-he felt they were so superficial and phony.

I suspect his feelings were much like your son’s friend

That said, I CANNOT believe either of these mothers actually called another mother and expressed concern one child might be draining on another child-of all the nerve-how did you not blow a police whistle in the receiver or something?

How old is your daughter? If these students are above 2nd grade I would leave them alone! Let them work it out…we’ve all had the experience of compensating for someone else in a group, it’s part of living and working as a community.

Mary,
You cracked me up with that one. Wouldn’t you just love to actually do something like that.

I agree that other parent was completely inappropriate. I wouldn’t want my child working with someone who came from a family of insensitive, socially inept people.

Linda

Thanks, your message was very inspirational. I am relieved that such pairing can work. These two girls are best friends so they picked each other. But it is the first time they have done a project together. With that attitude, I hope it is the last.

My daughter is in grade seven, a lot older.

The other mother wants the best for her child, as do you. If she is concerned, then I wonder if she discussed it with the teacher, is planning to do so, but wanted to discuss with you first so there are no surprises, esp. since the girls are best friends.
My own belief is that the group projects are not worth the problems and stress they create. I know that my son, who forgets everything (ADD) kept forgetting to notify me as to when groups would meet, let alone asking me. My husband and I ended up giving up a Sat. night with another couple (one scheduled 6 weeks in advance) bcs of this. Then I needed to explain it to them too.I hate group projects.

7th graders are more than capable of handling their own group projects without mom getting involved! (except maybe for transportation). Your daughter’s friend sounds more mature than her mother. She chose her friend over another A+. The social skills she learns will probably stick with her longer than the science material does. One of the 3rd grade guidance objectives I must teach is to identify and utilize the unique skills of group members— wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same?

7th graders are more than capable of handling their own group projects without mom getting involved! (except maybe for transportation). Your daughter’s friend sounds more mature than her mother. She chose her friend over another A+. The social skills she learns will probably stick with her longer than the science material does. One of the 3rd grade guidance objectives I must teach is to identify and utilize the unique skills of group members— wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same?

Since you are not in charge of the group assignments, I’d think she would wish to contact the teacher—who assigned the pairs intentionally.

Why is the mother so competetive? What grade? What is at stake here? The teacher needs to coach the parents on the point of this whole group assignment: team work, collaboration, social learning. What are the learning objectives (ask the teacher!)

In a regular classroom, I often paired weak and strong readers for a project. I often had hyper-mommies who thought we were running a kiddie-Harvard and their darling gifted dearest would be hamper by the sped kid they were paired with.

What a model this mother is making for her child!

You should express your concerns about your daughter’s self-esteem with this partner. Seventh grade isn’t graduate school for heaven’s sake.

Allowing such competetiveness is one way that we fail to teach altruism.

///

It sure would be boring, thanks for the encouraging comment, Rover

I agree. But you know the sad part of this situation, is that it seems that the mother who is worried her “brilliant child” will be slowed by the slower child, needs to “grow up”. I think it is a case of the parent having some long burried prejidice from her childhood. She needs to slowly get over it. No parent I know of, would think of calling the teacher or the other parent if this were a question of working with a kid of a diffrent color or economic class… Yet, it seems the parent feels that LD or ADD kids are fair game for complaints when group projects are concerned. What do you all think ?

Okay,ya’ll gonna make me LOSE my mind,up in here!
Lisa,how in the hell did you not pull her sorry butt through the phone and …. well,you know what I am saying.

What makes her kid better then your’s? What makes her kid anymore gifted then your’s? Where does she get off assuming her kid is more intelligent?
Okay,where in the world did this createn learn that being gifted made her kid fit in better then your kid? Personally this women needs some better social skills,if she even rubbed any of this deficit of her’s off on her kid,she should feel PRIVILEDGED that your kid is TOLERATE enough to help her kid learn better social skills then his inept mother’s social skills.

The mother is an idiot. My kid has been teamed with several kids on projects over the last month of last year and the first month of this year. All of them have been “normal” or “gifted”, all of them have been good friends. Thus far the efforts have been as follows:

(1) Write an essay describing the Roman Coliseum and build a scale model of the thing. Both kids wrote their own essays (required), mostly from various encyclopedias. The scale model was entirely built (out of sugar cubes) by my kid after several attempts to get the other to help. Partner contributed one oversized plastic horsie. When the teacher brightly asked if they had had fun working together on it, my kid said, “Yup! It was great! We ate some, built some, ate some, built some.” The friend nodded vigorously. They are good friends.

(2) Research gypsum flowers (cave formations), write report and produce model of same for classroom. My kid researched and wrote the report, the other kid made the model.

(3) Produce interactive game or other learning activity to help people learn about the sensory system. Both kids did completely unrelated things completely independently. (Teacher assigned partners, not friends, although not enemies, either.) Teacher was delighted at their output, and both kids made believe they had been working together.

(4) Produce written and illustrated web on one character from The Black Stallion, (assigned summer reading) providing evidence from the book about their various traits. This was the ONLY truly interactive, group thingie. They discussed it in class; each picked one trait and provided the evidence and illustrations themselves, modifying their work upon discussion with peers.

///

As usual, I’m with socks on this one. These parents who are afraid their children are being slowed down or in some other way being harmed by being paired up with our children are not only completely out of line in a really annoying way but they aren’t very bright. There will always be people who are brighter at one subject or slower at another in a study group. One of the most important things I learned from study groups in university was that WE LEARN AS MUCH ABOUT A SUBJECT FROM TEACHING IT TO OTHERS AS WE LEARN FROM HAVING IT TAUGHT TO US.

I love the group projects because that’s where the kids who aren’t perceived by other kids as bright can really shine. It’s often the LD kid who comes up with the best ideas. That child may have trouble writing them down, but is a fantastic “idea person”. Or great working on 3-D projects. Or is the only one in the group who can conceptualize well enough to see the big picture or imagine the final product. Or is the only one in the group willing to be doggedly persistent in putting together all the facts.

But you know what? It’s all up to the teacher’s direction. If the teacher really doesn’t have the right philosophy about collaborative learning, then it can be a horrible experience.

You have the patience of a saint.

In my observations, my quirky gifted /LD kid gets along best with other quirky sometimes gifted, sometimes LD kids.

There’s a reason her child loves your child and she’s in denial!!

And by the way, who says an LD kid can’t be gifted, and even if an LD kid isn’t gifted who says they don’t have some skill or interest to offer ?

Karen I am with you on this one, I think ALL kids have something to offer. With some it is very obvious where their strenghts are and with others it takes a LONG time to find. I think the reason I can be so patient with others is because I grew up with special needs brothers and sisters and learned that most people say such cruel things out of ignorance. This mom I was talking to never had a need to know about learning disabilities and only knew the stereotypes she has been exposed to. Once I explained about learning difference and some of the things that can be done and showed her some of my sons work, she did apologize for her narrow sightedness. She also realized that her “gifted” son had lots of traits in common with my “LD” son she could easily see why they are friends.

Okay,ya’ll gonna make me LOSE my mind,up in here! LOL, LOL
I can tell what kind of music you listen to at your house.
I think for parents like that you just have to hope the kids don’t grow up as stupid as the parents.,

Yeah! And good for you. It’s good to read what someone with “the patience of a saint” can accomplish, even with such terribly annoying people. Hopefully we can learn from your experience. I, for one, will try not to tar and feather the next annoying person I meet. Of course, I reserve the right to tar and feather if my first attempt at patience doesn’t work. I’m no saint.

Please come and tar and feather my upstairs neighbour for me. She actually got physically violent on Tuesday, as well as verbally abusive, when I went and asked her one more time to stop moving furniture after midnight. I called the cops after the violence, and she has actually been quiet for five nights!! Why didn’t I call them eleven months ago?!?
Please note that she is slim, pretty, young, well-dressed, well-educated, has an extemely clean apartment which she rearranges and vcuums all night, a yuppie through and through, and the apartment superintendent keeps brushing off my complaints because “It can’t be true, she’s such a sweet little thing.”
Being gifted or pretty or rich doesn’t make you a good person.

.

It sound like you neighbor has a serious case of OCD.

I and several other people in the building believe she has a serious case of spoiled brat. She is quite capable of controlling herself after being scared by the police. She also lies regularly to the superintendent; of course it’s all my fault.

My youngest’s music,and the ONLY song I can relate to:-)