homework overload

First, if the school staff won’t adjust the homework load—let them know you will be doing this. Focus on the homework that is most important—for my kid it was math. in 6th and 7th grade, she was not held to any homework except math. If she did more, great, but I wasn’t going to ruin our lives over it. My child is exhausted holding herself together during the day—sometimes she can’t take any more academic work. It is a big adjustment to middle school—and with puberty, I would back off a bit on expectations and make home the safe place. much of the homework I have seen is stupid—maybe she needs to answer only 5 questions, instead of 10. I found things got easier as more adjustments were made at school—math homework was easier in Dec than Sept. Also, as the kids grow older, if you create a good system now, they will get faster at the whole process. I had to be present and focused with my daughter in 7th grade to get her to do math—this year, she is doing it with no prompting. good luck

You may want to check to so if the homework load is excessive to all the students. Anymore than 2 hours is is excessive at that grade level. Schools have not cornered the market on common sense. Just have her do the most important stuff. If the homework is not completed in 2 hours don’t let her work anymore on it.

It’s a difficult situation. Perhaps her homework can be further modified through discussion with her teacher(s). In the ideal situation, neither you nor she should be exhausted by it.

I would be so bold as to say, though, there were times I simply took the homework from my own LD son and did it myself and quickly- on the computer. Then I’d explain it to him and bring him up to snuff. It was a shortcut that I would only elect if it did not interfere with - as you said - the big picture.

It still took my time but less of it and my energy than if I had been sitting by his side for every minute coaxing, poking, and prodding the work out of him.

I worked with my son and/or with his homework for 7 long years for hours every night and most all of every weekend. Remarkably it got easier when he was in high school as there he could take a reduced course load.

Good luck to you and your daughter. It is not easy to help our children through the job that is school.

On the days that homework is easy is it a specific subject? Are you certain no seizure activity is present during the more difficult times of not understanding?

You’re one step ahead of me if you could get her IEP to allow for modified amounts of homework as needed. I’ve been trying to get this on my son’s IEP for several years now. I gave up that battle and just give him whatever level help he needs, depending on the day.

Why won’t they modify his homework?

Just Curious!

K.

Good question about the seizure activity. I am planning to revisit her neurologist to have a new EEG done (a “walking” EEG if I can - to see her activity over an entire day). She has grown quite a bit lately. Even if I don’t see a seizure, which are very difficult to catch, I wonder if one can try to start but still wipe out a certain area of understanding for a period of time.

I believe that we’re still missing a piece of the puzzle. She’s falling farther behind every year even with the extra help while continuing to work harder and harder. I think I may have her seen by her neuropsychologist again to see if we missed a piece of the pie or if this is just to be expected.

How do you balance daily school work, projects, basic skill practice or learning, and long term goals (graduation and life skills)?

So far we’ve done a great job on continuing to make time available for her to do things that she is good at and enjoys. Her self esteem and social enjoyment are wonderful. Where would we have been without leaving time for her to have her successes?

- Lisa

The answer to the rest of your question. No, the subject - within reason- does not seem to matter. It’s more a question on the ability to focus, understand what’s being asked, and a general ability to think. Sometimes it could just be a lack of motivation, but more often I think it is just something she can not do.

- Lisa

I have a 12 year old in sixth grade. She’s never had an IEP; as we preferred to handle her various therapies ourselves. Middle school began for us with 5th grade and the amount of work expected was just staggerering. It would have taken an ordinary child a good three hours to get through the work, and that is assuming that the child in question was very organized, loved reading, and so didn’t consider the required reading in Reading class to be work. (No such luck in our home.) As it is we hit the sack around eleven o’clock most nights after a gruelling day which began at 6:30 AM. I understand about how your kid’s attention level fluctuates daily, but I assure you, this is pretty par for the course in this age group. It feels like that as soon as kids hit puberty their IQ’s drop by about 20 points. They are also irritatingly emotional, remarkbly labile, and in general, can be pains in the rear. I know of no parent of a middle schooler who thinks differently, although things do seem to improve once the hormones settle down.

With respect to homework, I am willing to help with typing, proof-reading, tutoring, internet searches, provision of research materials, and the artsy-crafty aspect of projects, but I have a fixed policy that anything that involves reading, writing, or math must be done by the kid, at gunpoint if necessary. I find that it helps to clearly define that homework is non-negotiable, and takes precedence over anything else, and that it doesn’t really matter if you or the kid are feeling unwell or whatever, the homework still needs to get done. Most of the world’s work is done by adults who are feeling considerably less than 100%, so I figure that this is good practice for later. After all, I am sure that you frequently drag your butt home after a gruelling day at work, fix dinner for your kids and do your best with the “second shift” while feeling distinctly ill. That’s called being an adult. Frankly this is not a bad thing for kids to learn. Sure we all wish that our family lives could look like the Huxtables where nobody seems to spend more than about 10 minutes on homework; the parents have unlimited time to have long, idyllic chats with each child and attend all their sports events; the dog never pees on the rug and the cat never drags in horrible dead things and disembowels them on the couch; neither parent ever calls in to say that three patients were added to the schedule and they are running late so you will have to pick up both kids and oh, by the way, the basement has flooded so call a plumber, and what IS that smell, is it the dog, the basement, or is some unlucky chipmunk decomposing somewhere, but hey, that’s T.V. and this is real life.

It helps to have fixed policies about homework and stick to them through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. My policies, for what they is worth are (1) All homework must be done the day it is assigned unless we are talking about a complex project or studying for a test. If this means that you and the child go to bed at 2:00 AM so be it. (2) Test review must be done on at least three days. (3) Homework takes precedence over all other activities except eating dinner and sports. (I consider sports vital to maintainance of her attention and weight. She gets about two hours of vigorous activity a day not counting P.E. and does a whole lot better with this in the day than without it.) (5) All homework and scheduled tests must be written down in the day planner with due dates even if completed before pickup from aftercare. (The school has a bulletin board on which assigned homework for each subject in each grade is supposed to be posted. Last year I checked this board daily; this year I am checking 2-3 times a week as she is a lot better about putting the homework down, even though she still is lax about putting down the tests which she figures wrongly that she can “wing”.) I hope to be able to progress to where I just need to check it once a week this year, and to do only spot checks next year. There is some hope at the end of the tunnel. Last year was pretty horrible, but this year is a whole lot better. She’s much more organized and I no longer have to sit next to her to keep her on task.

It’s got to be frustrating for both of you to have so little control over whether it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. We’re “supposed” to rise above those obstacles and do what’s got to get done, after all. It sounds like you’ve got one big obstacle taken care of — you can adjust those expectations for your needs, and don’t have to arbitrarily do what supposedly works for the masses.
But how do you set expectations even with that freedom?
First, do try to figure out patterns in the fluctuations — are the bad days coming on the same day of the week? Keep a little log… look for patterns related to day of the week, diet, exercise, weather, *whatever.* Even if the connection seems ridiculous at first, it might make you think of a connection that makes sense. (So if she has a bad day when she is wearing the green sweater… ridiculous! Oh, but it’s her favorite… and right after the laundry is done she’s snagged it… and what detergent are you using?)
I’d also figure out the best ways to use those basically written off lousy days. Maybe those are good days to trash the concept of learning something new, and get out review stuff to go over — *just* those “big picture” things, since the idea here is not to get more frustrated, or a vocab. review of really important terms. (On the other hand, if the bad days are such that she confuses stuff she knows down pat, then *don’t* do that.) If you can figure out *something* that’s independent that she can do those days (organize her backpack?) it would give you a brain break too.
What’s a typical assignment that is exhausting? Maybe we could figure out some approaches to dealing with it — at the very least, int he “independent accountability” department, re-scheduling on ye olde calendar when the task will get tackled.

Lisa,

Perhaps, even the non-learning disabled students are also experiencing homework overload. Remember, the public schools had not cornered the market uncommon sense. More than two hours of homework is too much. I would suggest that after one or two hours that your daughter should no longer work on her homework assignments. Children also need to have a social life. It is no crime if things take a little longer. good luck, and if your school as run-up commonsense just make sure that you do not.

My son had an EEG under video survelience,or at least this is what my neurologist called it. It consisted of a week long hospital admit,the room has a video camera and the child is wired for an eeg,and video taped 24/7. many times activity is found when it has never showed up on a traditional eeg. My son didn’t show any seizures,while a friend’s son showed seizures through out sleep,which caused MAJOR processing problems in the day time. Postdictual episodes after seizures that occur can cause alot of problems that you are describing. I would always suggest to someone to look at all physical potential causes first.