I live in Fort Wayne, Indiana and have a daughter who
turned five on August 18th, making her the youngest in her
class. The cut-off for entering Kindergarten without any
further assessment this year is Augusty 1; last year
the cut-off was June 1st. Since the South West Allen
County School district in which we reside is growing very rapidly, this year’s Kindergarten crop is both larger and older than last year’s. Simultaneously the district is operating under a budget crunch, while theoretically laboring under a state mandate that states that Kindergarten classrooms with more than 22 students in them must have an aide. (On the other hand, I’m told by the
South-West Allen County School district that this staffing ratio is a guideline only, and that staffing is dependent on a number of factors, including principal’s judgement.) Well, one week ago, the 23rd student was admitted to my
daughter’s classroom. Last Friday my kid’s teacher called me to invite me to a meeting with her next week. I told her I could not simply cancel all my patients and show up at daytime meetings at the drop of a hat, and perhaps she
could tell me what the problem was. “Oh, no,” she said “we need a meeting”. “How about a phone conference?” I suggested. She said that a meeting was a necessity because she needed to talk to me together with the principal and other members of the faculty. (Let me tell you, my desire
to attend meetings, already minimal, reached a new low!) After a few minutes of verbal arm-wrestling, she admitted that while there were no specific instances of bad behavior warranting discipline, she felt that my child was not
mature enough to be in Kindergarten; that the gym instructor felt that her large motor development was not up to par, and that the principal had agreed that it was in my child’s best interest to enter Kindergarten next year
rather than this one. Now, my daughter was in Junior Kindergarten last year, and has had lots of exposure to preschool. Three of her friends from JK are in her class this year. She comes home from Kindergarten happy and smiling, and
the completed work in her backpack appears to be of good quality. I’ve never heard any questions about my daughter’s maturity level from her preschool or JK teachers. In addition, my daughter has excellent phonemic awareness; can decode words containing up to five separate phonemes with ease, and can encode words with three and four phonemes. She reads books at the beginning Bob Books level of difficulty without trouble, although she runs out
of stamina for the later Bob Books (which are longer.) Her letter formation is better than my elder child’s was at the end of first grade; she knows her numbers to fourteen; can color within the lines; hop on one foot; button, zip and
tie her shoes without assistance; swim the length of an Olympic size pool unassisted; and draw an adequate representation of a man. She has no trouble putting together a 48 piece jigsaw puzzle by herself, and I have seen her sit looking at books for up to an hour at a time.
Is she immature? Yes. She is much more whiny than my elder kid was at this age, and is a poorer sport. She still has trouble distinguishing truth from fantasy, and can tell me obvious whoppers with a straight face. She loves being
carried and held, and always wants to be picked up. She is a quiet, shy, skinny, short, frail child who is easily discouraged, and is a very different proposition from her 12 year old sister, who at age five was plump, resilient, outgoing, athletic, truthful, vigorous, popular and the sort of scholar who would engage in academic work or quiet activities only under the threat of immediate bodily harm. (She is okay now, but hey, that’s why I hang out on these boards, and am so suspicious of the good intentions of Kindergarten teachers, especially when they begin with meetings ambushing unwary parents with a cast of thousands.)
Now, as a matter of fact, I had already intended to repeat my younger child in full-day Kindergarten next year at the preparatory school currently attended by her sister. (Since their Kindergarten cutoff was September1st, my younger
daughter couldn’t attend this year, and indeed, there would
have been kids who were two years older than her in that class.) However, I feel that my child is, in fact, more than ready for public school half-day Kindergarten this year, and that financial considerations for the district
are what are primarily driving this equation. What are your thoughts on the matter?
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
I think you are right on the button. My inclination would be to administer or have someone administer a Kindergarten Readiness test like The Gesell Institute Readiness Test and present the results at meeting. I would think that they have no right to unenroll your child from school without your permission. Hopefully the teacher is just following orders and this does not reflect her belief about your child. (I think they picked the wrong parent to convince that their child doesn’t belong in Kindergarten).
About the Gesell Readiness Test
http://www.gesellinstitute.org/dsp.asp?page=1
Article on Kindergarten Readiness
http://readyweb.crc.uiuc.edu/library/1994/crnic1.html
Helen
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
Could be and that your daughter comes home every day happy and smiling speaks strongly for that. It also speaks strongly for keeping her in there so long as she’s happy and smiling. I don’t think they can ‘boot her out’.
Thank them for their concerns and say you’ll keep a close eye. Tell the the disadvantages of having her repeat JK (that has to be what they’re suggesting isn’t it?) No public school by law may suggest private schools so they have to suggest something else within their system. If they even hint at anything that would cost you money eg. daycare, homecare, private kindergartens, 1/2 day school and half day home care… whatever - recoil in pleasant but certain surprise and say, “Financially that is not an option unless of course the district is willing to absorb the cost of it.”
They’ll say nothing after that.
Good luck.
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
Shirin,
I would say, “Thanks for your observations but I think I will keep her anyway. If you have any specifc areas you think she needs help with please share them with me and I will work with her to improve those particular skills.”
Let that be the end of it.
Linda
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
Hang in there. You have a happy child now who will be devastated by pulling out away from her friends. her fragile spirit will be crushed. The school will not have to pick up the emotional pieces—you will.
I had a similar experience with my very bright non-LD child, whom the principal admitted to a parochial kindergartern two weeks past the cutoff. (She had been extremely unhappy at her previous school because she was so much more advanced than the other kids and had been forced into a little mother role of zipping up others’ jackets and tying their shoes. Some girls would thrive in such a maternal role, but not my doll-spurning child.) She was incredibly happy throughout kindergarten—all her academic work was well above average, her drawing skills unrivalled. She had more play dates than any other girl in the class and had become total bosom buddies with one of them.
Then in April, the teacher told me she wanted her to repeat. The only reasons given was that she sometimes fell out of her chair (at 9 she still does), would go to the bathroom or get a drink without permission (construed as inability to follow rules, rather than a show of independence) and sometimes was sleepy in the afternoon (it was an all-day kindergarten that had no naptime). Real story—the old principal had left and a new principal had arrived and the kindergarten teacher was insisting on this as a way of establishing her supremacy over all kindergarten children and their parents with the new principal. (I found out she had done a similar thing with a new principal a number of years earlier with two other children.) In the end, the principal finally admitted the only real reason was her age being past the cutoff. (I noted that if that was the problem they should have told me in September and I never would have put her there just to repeat the year again and make friends she couldn’t keep. And if that was true, they had fraudently collected my tuition. Logical reasoning, however, was not the principal’s strong suit. After several other moves like this one with other children, she decided—possibly spurred on by the pastor— to leave and was replaced the vice-principal who apologized for the shabby treatment, particularly as at the time I was the vice-president of the School Board.)
I ended up having her repeat kindergarten in the p.s. as she was already no longer being challenged by the end of the parochial kindergarten and I knew she could not stand the daily reminder that all her friends had advanced to the next class while she was left behind. But literally, every night for four or five months I had to hear her cry for at least 45 minutes about how she hated her new school and missed her old school andfriends. I was devastated too—how could adults snatch happiness from a child and crush her spirit just to feed their own egos? Eventually, she came to like her new school and make many friends—but the whole atmosphere is much less academic and the level of intellectual curiousity she showed in kindergarten has not been duplicated. She has channelled most of her energy and incredible spirit into the social end of things and she does not need to work to achieve good grades—nothing at her grade level is really that challenging for her. While I love her dearly, she is a totally different child than she would have been had she not been forced to switch schools and be held back.
Here's my experience
With insistance from my mother and aunt who were both Kindergarten teachers for 30 years, we did not put our ‘summer-born’ baby into school until the following year.
My dd had some learning difficulties at this age, so our situation is different than yours. We are so very glad that we held her back. She is on grade-level with pretty much everything -(except spelling and some of that I think is now bad habit). But she would be not have been able to keep up with the grade ahead of her.
There was more than just the academics(and my dd is not lacking social skills or athletic ability). When I look at the girls in the 4th grade (she is now 3rd), she just doesn’t fit with them. They seem so much more mature - taller, socially, mentally etc. She looks/acts like a 3rd grader - not a 4th grader. She is definatly a leader in her class and maintains a very positive self-esteem.
HOWEVER - there WAS a downside to this. My dd’s very best friend is only a month older than her and she was not held back. This has always irked my dd and we have had to deal with some issues with her actually feeling like she flunked and WANTING to be in 4th grade(this conversation always breaks my heart). We have had to do some convincing with her that being the oldest is better than being the youngest. My son has also told her that it is much ‘cooler’ to be one of the oldest in the class vs. youngest.
My dd’s friend is doing fine in 4th grade - however, she is not the top of her class, probably more bottom half in reading/writing. Both girls LOVE sports. My dd has already experienced a HUGE self-esteem builder by being the ‘star’ on her basketball team. Her friend has not - she ends up competing with girls a year older and head taller than herself.
It was SUCH a hard decision when we decided to not start her in Kindergarten that year. I had talked to many different parents of those that had held back vs. those that hadn’t. What convinced me, was that I got a very consistent response - no regrets from those that had. Those that hadn’t - most said they wish they had. The early grades they struggled -although they did catch up by upper grades.
Good luck. This is totally a ‘mother’s intuition’ call. Sounds like your school has their own motives in mind.
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
I agree with Marycas - I think they should “intervene” with appropriate services in all the areas they feel are a problem
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
I am one of the parents that regrets not holding my son back. My first grader just turned 6 today. He crys every morning and does not want to go to school. I put him in kindergarten last year at 4yrs. ( all day) I did that because I also have a son who will be 5 in Feb. with autism. He is non-verbal and does not play with his brother so I felt sorry for my 6 year old. Now, I also have an older son who is now going to be 15. He started kindergarten at 5 and turned 6 that Oct. He has had no problems. My 6 yr. old has the concepts of the school work he is just a worrier. He cried because one day he did not have a library book when the teacher told them to get their books to go to the library. She has to explain to him that he wasn’t there the week before and that was why he did not have a library book. This happens over the least little things. He is also having difficulty changing classes for math, reading, social studies, and science. I think they make it too hard. We didn’t change classes until the fifth grade. But for what it is worth to you, I wish I had not put him in kindergarten last year.
Re: Teacher wants 5 year old out of Kindergarten
There is always varying amounts of maturity levels in children when they enter Kindergarten so this doesn’t seem like a good enough arguement to me (unless she were not academically ready).
But your daughter sounds academically ready to me and that should be a good enough reason to keep her in Kindergarten if that’s what you want to do.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
Laura
Re: Here's my experience
Both my kids have summer birthdays, and I ended up taking advantage of a move out-of-state to recycle my oldest in third grade. It was an excellent decision, and since Indiana’s cutoff at that time was June 1st, while Maryland’s cutoff was December 30th, she was with her age-mates, and so did not feel strange about it at all. I fully intend to repeat my younger daughter in all-day Kindergarten next year at a different school. The question is not whether she should enter first grade a year late, but whether she should repeat half-day Junior Kindergarten this year at the same preschool where she did Junior Kindergarten last year, as opposed to continuing in half-day public Kindergarten as her age entitles her to do. I do think she would regard returning to preschool as a failure, as her preschool made a big deal about “graduating” its JK class.
Re: Here's my experience
I’d leave her where she is, if she is happy. I think that is a big sign. My daughter, who was young, was not happy in Kindergarten. She now is in 7th grade, academically very strong but still younger emotionally. She is still a kid while the others have moved into being teenagers. Of course, it didn’t help that we moved to a state with earlier deadlines so she is really young now. We couldn’t hold her back even with moving because she was already ahead academically.
Beth
Re: Here's my experience
I think you have a very good plan! I can relate to repeating the Jr. Kindergarten when all her peers ‘graduated’. I agree with you about not wanting to repeat it. My dd was in a pre-school program in which all her peers moved onto Kindergarten. We were fortunate to find the Montessori option for us that offered a pre-K/K alternative. She got to go to a ‘new’ school and was basically in class all day with the Kindergartners.
Sorry, I don’t have any good ammunition for you to fight the public school with. I don’t think they legally can tell you that she can’t attend -especially if she meets the cut-off dates? It’s public school???
Re: Here's my experience
You have a great plan. Keeping her in pre-K another year will not help her prepare for the kindergarten she will attend next year as much as keeping her in the kindergarten she is in right now.
she sounds quite ready for kindergarten in IN-we just left after 10 years there-I was an aide in kindy for 2 years.
Someone has to go, and her size, age, and the fact that they probably know you are not planning to stick with the public school system in the long run are probably all pointing to your dd being first choice. And they know you can financially provide another stimulating appropriate resource(we often talked about how pointless it was to hold a kid out of kindy a year if all he did was plop in front of babysitters soap operas-far better to get him in the system and get him stimulated)
They cant force you to do this and I doubt they would hold it against you for very long-which doesnt mean that first report card wont come home with lots of -’s. But they will get over it.
I assume if she stays, the school will provide appropriate services-title one, psychologist time, OT for the deficits they have so kindly noted ;)