Temper

Your suggestion for counseling is a good idea. A developmental pediatric psychologist would be a great place to begin. Is there a children’s hospital near you? They usually have such a department as Developmental Medicine and Psychology. Keep advocating for them to get professional help.

Good luck to you!

Thank you Susan,
I have always been deeply concerned about this child. I will make that suggestion to them.
JM

My LD daughter had lots of temper tantrums as a preschooler (she was an angelic infant). I believe (mind you, this is just mom’s observation and NOT a professional opinion) that much of it was caused by trying to make sense out of a world that didn’t make sense. She has sensory integration, motor planning, and auditory AND visual processing deficits. JMHO. Get the evaluation - it’s some of the best money ever spent.

Leah,
I suggested that they set up a confrence with his kindergarden teacher and see about his behavior in class. I know for a fact that when he was in pre-k, he was always being sent home for fighting. We all were very worried that he would be thrown out of school once he started K.
He and his mother always knock heads…….the minute she tells him something to do or sets up rules that he has to follow, he starts to rant…kick, bang and hit himself. He stands there with this defient mad devil look.
He now does not want to wear his underwear or socks to school…….
Personally I think it has to do with allegies, he is always complaining of itching.
I’ll tell you, I’ve been there with my son…..and it was not easy.
Thanks
JM

My son used to want to wear his clothes backwards. I used to let him. When his teacher whom he respected mentioned that his clothes were backwards he stopped. You can even quietly cue the teachers.

Be careful of making small issues into power struggles. I know it is tough. My son was very tough when he was young. I will say that as an 8 year old these same traits are now positive. He is a fighter to the end. His toughness and resilance have served him well. He is a leader, doesn’t care what people think about him, knows his own mind, he stands up for what is right and he works very hard. I think these traits will help him to cope as he gets older.

I am pretty easy going so we don’t bang heads with power struggles.With my husband it is another story. They are just so alike. I have learned to give him alot of choices. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt etc? Kids like this need to feel in control of their surroundings. They also respond well to responsibility. They have to learn with choices come responsibilities. Natural consequences are best.

Read, “Backtalk”.

Concerning itching and allergies, try using a scent-free detergent, not too much in a load. Also scent-free soap and shampoo are good, and no “fresheners” or other things in the air. It makes life a lot more comfortable for everyone concerned.

i am Hope. a few questions here…
how was the developmental milestones… IE walking, talking? how does he play with other children? how does he behave in the public…(Wal-mart?)
since your son had problems also it could be genetics…
how is he with his senses? like scratching for example. does he do this when nervous? when new people are around? when he goes somewhere new? how is his sound perseption? is he sensitive to sound?

i have a son with Autism… and so much of what you describe relates to the milder form of that disorder. i suggest you visit a pedicatric nuro specialyst. or a child development clinic (through your local health department) if you are curious about the checklist on Autism go to WWW. autism-society.org
they have a checklist form infancy through adulthood.

also a positive behavior approach may be of great benifit, ” Early childhood intervention with ABA” (applied behavior analysis)

sorry so many questions.
Hope

Hi Linda F, Victoria & Hope
Thank you for your replies. I am the Grandma of this child. I have raised three children, two were considered LD and dealt with this on my own. I now have 4 grandchildren. The oldest who is now 12 (daughter’s son) is being tested independently for a specific cause of his learning disablity.

My second grandchild who I’m now concerned about is my son’s child.
He has always been a demanding baby, toddler etc. Cryed all the time. Couldn’t take him anywhere without him making a scene. The mother early in his toddler age was very aggressive and hit the child constanly. My son had to take over the responsiblies of raising and protecting him. But, unfortunately his business requires him to work nights and he was not there to see what was going on. All of us, his sisters and myself would tell him and warn him of the what was going on. He said that she insisted that she was not hitting the child but that she couldn’t take care of him. He then installed a hidden camera in his room. He told her what he did, but didn’t tell her where he installed it. She has not gone near this child since.

She has denied the physical abuse but insist that there is something wrong with the child and that he is just like his father.

I would take this child for days on end and have him sleep over. I checked him for any bruises but he was fine. He never wants to go home, he wants to stay with me.

Now that he is older (5) he fights back and makes her life miserable. He only runs to his father and me for affection and comfort.

They have another baby boy who is 12 months old and totally different. He is a pleasant baby always smiling and cooing, who the mother adores.

They are now taking him for counseling, hopefully, they will find out what the cause is (his mother) and not a learning disabiltiy. But, I still wonder.

Sorry for going on so.
JM