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Just when you think LD issues are not issues anymore..

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

OKay wondering if anyone else has had this problem,and if anyone has suggestions,I would greatly appreciate it..

My oldest can’t use the phone,or maybe I should say,he doesn’t want to use the phone. It is definitely a number thing,and it is definitely the series of numbers thing. I noticed the other day,when I gave him the phone book and said look it up,or call information.He did this no problem,then he tried to dial. He kept gettng it wrong or confused,then would have to start all over again. Couldn’t seem to keep himself organized to do the multistep procedure in order to get the phone correctly dialed??

He eventually became upset over it,and mentioned he tried all day last summer when he was away from home! And I thought he just forgot:-(

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 12:28 AM

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Well, socks, I can only sympathize. It took my little girl to this year at age seven to remember our ten digit phone number. She has poor auditory memory and I have been so focused on reading that I have done nothing with the phone. So I imagine she will ahve the same problem unless I have the numbers written out for her to look at as she dials.

I have this but have not used it yet…BrainBuilder. It’s supposed to help digitspan…auditory memory of numbers forward and backwards, I think. Not sure if that’s your son’s problem with the dialing, but if so, it might be worth a try.

Janis

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 1:43 AM

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hey Socks….my guys had this problem too. However, with determination and practice on an old phone that we were not using, they eventually got it. One of my guys mentioned that he had to pay more attention to where he was putting his fingers.

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 7:17 AM

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I cannot hear and then write down the phone number-okay, with reps I can do 7 digits but add the area code and its very, very tough. I have a masters degree and had no trouble with calculus-my best class.

But a cell phone with a phone book is so easy. Besides, it will make the coolest birthday gift!

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 11:55 AM

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Great idea!

My daughter’s tutor had the trouble with the phone (great in reading, poor with numbers’ memory) said she has to HAVE a phone in front of her and she “remembers” the number by the way her fingers dial it. Kind of like typing. Often students will learn how to spell words by the way they feel kinestetically (SP?) when they use the same words alot.

Socks, don’t feel alone. My 10 year old daughter came home last week saying “Little Miss Muffett, sat down, then came a spider”. “Mary had a little lamb, its feet were white as snow”. Though we went over it time and time again, she just got frustrated and said “forget it!” She was my preschooler who, instead of learning songs, made up her own (MOM was too slow to figure out it was a coping mechanism for not being able to remember :-(. )

She also can’t say the pledge of allegiance unless she’s in the classroom. Recently she told me that when the bus is early to school they have to stay on the bus and say the pledge while they wait their turn to get off. She hates it and it starts her day off all wrong.

BUT, she’s the child that you can show a computer software to and she will either remember how to do it or figure it out herself. All those VARIED strengths and weaknesses - it’s just so hard to get them to concentrate on the strengths, especialy when the weaknesses are so apparent in school.

Thank God for technology and the ability to say “home” and the phone dials automatically. Maybe they’ll all be “rocket scientists” and won’t have to deal with such “trivial” things.

A last note, my friend lives near Oakridge - some kind of nuclear power plant up there or something like that. He said there are arrows on the floor pointing out how to get to the bathrooms and snack machines b/c those these guys are brilliant, but they can’t find their way around the building. Here’s hope?!

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 1:10 PM

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we have made our son(6th grade) a phone list with all his friend’s phone numbers in a bigger font and posted it by all of the phones; try having him practice with an old phone until he’s comfortable. The reward for many high schoolers in our area is their own cell phone, very important for safety to call parents for a ride or help.

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 1:46 PM

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My son had this problem and it disappeared after IM. For him it was a motor thing. He just couldn’t get the numbers in fast enough without the operator telling him to hang up or make a call.
He also couldn’t put the numbers into the TV remote fast enough to get his channel. He would put in 1 and by the time he found the 0 he was at channel 1 instead of the desired channel 10.

I agree with the person who said practice this skill on an old phone. Using a real phone is intimidating. Phones have their own logic to the way they are set up. Where else do you see numbers in 4 rows 3 across each row?

Also, I think video games helped him with his speed in motor response. He is getting quite good.

It may be memory or motor or something else as others have suggested. You would certainly know best.

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/21/2003 - 4:19 PM

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That’s how I taught my kids our phone number (and our address as well).

Andrea

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 12:01 AM

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Okay,Thanks guys,BUT….

1. Yes,gfgmom:-) if it comes to something like homework,I dial.. If it is wanting to know if the Skate Shop is open,and has the newest barrings,no,he should do it himself.

2. I definitely have the very same problem:-) I hate it when I dial,it is busy,and I have already closed the page in the phone book with the phone number in it.

3. I am concerned about this,mainly because of him not knowing his own phone number. A cell phone? Hmm. hate to think of the phone bills..

4. Biggest concern,people like “teacher” A very good friend berated my son for not knowing his phone number. Said,”how old are you now?” I had asked him to call home and ask his father a question,he couldn’t do it. Of course he needs to learn it,should I make him dial over and over and over again,until he either learns how or feels like a subhuman? Ironicly enough we were painting a window for Martin Luther King Jr Day. The same kid who couldn’t dial the phone could give me direct quotes from the speech,”I have a dream today”. One of which was,”I have a dream that one day our children,will not be judged for the color of their skin,but for the content of their character”. Hey Teacher,just change it to: Learning Disability. (Now that I got that off my chest.)

5. When you mean singing,are you meaning a phone number like your home number? I will definitely try this,thanks again guys:-)

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 12:49 AM

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I don’t think I mentioned this in my first post, but our area went to an overlay area code so we have to dial 10 digits locally, all the time!!! Heck, I can’t even remember an unfamiliar number when I have to dial the area code first!

Janis

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 2:41 AM

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We have to do this too. Really bugged me to have to dail the area code to call my neighbors!!!

But it seemingly is always same area code (haven’t met anyone yet with different one, although cell phones may have them).

It is easier if your kids know their phone number first, especially LD ones!!

Beth

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 4:19 AM

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I have searched for a voice-activated dialing phone — I don’t mean the cute ones that will let you say “Call HOme” which is fine for home, but ones where you can say “dial one two three.” It’s a common enough issue (and I suspect more of an issue with touch tone than dial).

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 12:47 PM

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But your address doesn’t sing back to tell you whether you got it right!

Karen

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 12:58 PM

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Yes, I remember the sound of the “beeps” a person’s phone number makes, more than the numbers. (though if I put my mind to it, I will remember that too) I do it sort of the way you play an instrument. I just “play” the sound that is that person’s telephone number.

I’m not sure how you’d TEACH that though… It’s something I’ve just always done. Even in the days of rotary dials, I learned the pattern of the sound the dial made as it returned to “home” after each number was dialed.

What can I say? Wierd ways of learning seem to run in the family.

Karen

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 1:11 PM

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I think dialing a phone, making a bank deposit, using a library card, how to ask someone out on a date, how to be a good babysitter or dogsitter… etc. should receive equal footing for the LD population that IM, and all the other popular alternative therapies get; we need to prepare our kids to function in the real world.

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2003 - 2:35 PM

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Yes, but in my son’s case IM got him using the phone, the remote, cooking, paying attention at baseball games and dressing himself without constant supervision.

It would have taken me years to teach each life skill seperately. I think it is important to get at the underlying cause of the skill problem whenever possible. It is just more efficient than going after them one at a time.

I think my son’s problem was different. He has a very good memory so he could say our phone number but didn’t have the motor skill to dial before IM.

I also think that if a child gets to a certain age without developing certain skills for whatever reason it becomes difficult because an emotional component develops. They are embarrassed to practice a skill they should have learned years ago.

My friend’s son lived in the city and never really mastered his bike until 4th grade. He was not ld and excelled at other sports. It was very difficult because he just was too embarrassed to be seen wobbling around on that thing in the 4th grade. He did eventually get it, but it was tough.

Socks, what is the underlying cause. It is memory, motor, visual spatial, a combination of all of those or is like my friends son. He just doesn’t want to be seen wobbling.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 4:08 AM

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Linda,
personally I think the issue is an impulsivity issue. He is pushing buttons faster then I can keep up with him to figure out which ones he is pushing.He either doesn’t push the one number hard enough,and then he pushes the number too hard so it is read twice, Then the line is dead which leads me to believe he didn’t even have a dial tone to begin with etc. Impulsivity or the multistep motor planning? Not quite sure yet. I can tell you this is the kid with significant Math issues. Numbers illiciate bad vibes to begin with. So this is MOST definitely an emotional component there. Not to mention the feed back of,”hey,you “should” be able to do this.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 7:26 AM

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Socks,
I’m often amazed at what I’ve assumed my son can do, and then learned he couldn’t, and needed step-by-step directions with lots of practice.

This topic is a good one. I don’t even know if my 8-year-old son can dial a phone! He has never done it before. In fact, he avoids talking on it whenever possible. For one thing he has a difficult time hearing and understanding when he’s listening to someone speak on it.

But SAR has a good point. It’s important we teach our children everyday life skills, and in the midst of all the academics, sometimes it’s easy to overlook this.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 1:41 PM

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I am speaking for our family only when I say that we want our 12 yo LD son to function in his 750 student middle school as normally as possible, as well as in his community…we see him as special but that does not excuse him from learning everyday living skills…no he’ll never be a soccer star, or swimming star, or top student but he can hope to be a good babysitter, and learn to manage his social life and money like other teens. We live in the suburbs where all teens drive, and yes we are worried about teaching him to drive. I guess there’s always something!

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 4:09 PM

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I must say that I am always amazed at what my daughter can’t do. I have only had her tested just a month ago. Now I am constantly watching as I realize she can hardly tell time… sleep in the dark….copy off the board….make change etc….

I don’t now how she made it to the fourth grade?!?

Just coming here as turned my mind towards hope and away from doom.

And I thought my son with ADHD, OCD, GAD and possibly bipolar was the challenge–— that was just preparation for my journey with my daughter.

You all are amazing!
GFGmom

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 5:52 PM

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him to put his underwear on first or he would go without. Geez, when I think of how far he has come.

I know this is way off topic but hey, it just reminded me of that.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 6:01 PM

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Math anxiety leading to phone anxiety.

I see with my own son that he just shuts down on certain things. I know it is anxiety. I do the same thing. The rushing through something just to get through it is very familar too. Some things are just so painful they do them without thinking really quick just to get it over with.

Is your son impulsive when he is anxious? My son does act impulsive at times and I can tie it in part to his emotions. If he is stressed or angry it can really come out in this loss of control kind of way.

He is pretty together most of the time.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 01/23/2003 - 6:24 PM

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Long ago I heard a great phrase: ‘Don’t SHOULD on yourself!’ (substitute ‘sh*t’ for should and you really get the meaning!) Makes me want to sh*t on people when they say this — we are all different, and who are THEY to say I ‘should’ be able to????? It is as defeating as whole language methods were to my son…in order to see how mean this really is, I guess you have to have your kid dissolve in tears after being told ‘just TRY HARDER…’ which also reminds me of bowel movements — and they say it isn’t good to strain at that, either!

He WILL get it, one day, Socks — I know already that you are like a bulldog when your kids face a roadblock.

He’s brighter that most — sit down together and brainstorm causes and solutions…and tell him that maybe it is just something that requires ingenuity AND time…maybe the assistive stuff would be a good idea for now…
best wishes,
Elizabeth

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 01/24/2003 - 3:41 AM

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Maybe we should just enter me in David Letterman’s “Stupid Pet Tricks”!

I never thought about it one way or the other… nor did I question whether other people did the same thing, until this subject came up here!

Karen

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 01/24/2003 - 6:23 AM

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I find the biggest problem is trying to teach EVERY LITTLE DETAIL. And it’s not just the teaching, but the reteaching and reteaching and reteaching and other parents wondering how come you haven’t taught your child how to do something as simple as tie a shoe or the letters of the alphabet — when in reality you’ve “taught” it much more than they can even imagine.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 01/24/2003 - 6:16 PM

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Amen, amen, amen!

Like the parent who questioned if I should be able to coach a kids team as I didn’t seem to be teaching my son very well!

I’ll have you know that the “International Insect” team is doing very well, thank you! We may not go to state championship but we hold our own and are having a blast.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Barb Bloom

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/29/2003 - 8:41 AM

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I posted on another board (reading?) my personal experiences — I have difficulty dialing, often. Hope you’ll check into it.

My daughter never liked to use the phone much. As a child, she would just say yes or no, period. As a teenager, she got up to having conversations for maybe five whole minutes, rarely ten with her boyfriend (All you other parents of teenage girls can scream now.) Often, even now at the age of twenty, she still falls into the yes or no thing.

I realized that she uses non-verbal clues extensively in conversation. She has always been (and I mean always, since birth) very very sensitive to emotions and a very social person. The phone, without those nonverbal sources of information, feels “dead” to her.

This is another highly gifted young person who can speak several languages, but will not use the phone, and has real trouble with analog clocks. She isn’t much on tying shoes either. Some things you’ve got, and some things not.

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