Hi All,
I hope this new year has found everyone a little less stress free. (okay I know, who am I kidding).
I last spoke with many of you in January, and you all were great and very supportive. The meeting with the prinicipal and the teacher were uneventful. I think I stated my case quite well and everyone was in agreement that we need to do what is best for my 8 year old. To catch any newbies up to date I was literally freaking out last December because I received the dreaded phone call from my son’s teacher that she believes he may have LD. Ugh! After much reading and searching, I found this message board. Everyone prepared me for the pre-meeting. (Thanks for the advice.)
The pre-meeting occured in the second week of January and I was told the child study team would contact me. Well, I never received the call. I tried to convince myself that if they didn’t call then everything has improved. A smack back to reality came when my son brought his folder home and it was filled with F’s. Immediately, I called the principal to express my concerned that my son is not improving.
He promised me the CST (child study team) would contact me. Well after another call or two and a note to the teacher I received a letter indicating “we believe your child can benefit from SE ” Okay I thought we had already made this great discovery. Also my son is getting frustrated and is verbally stating that he can’t try anymore. I continue to encourage him daily,
Last week, I received my call and letter from the CST to meet on 2/18/03. I asked what should I expect and what will happen. A very nice but young sounding women with expressive “valley girl” but peppy tone states “Well we are going to talk about your son.” Like Gag me with a spoon. I see now this is going to be totally fun. NOT! In my most professional voice I clearly stated, my only goal and concern is for the well-being of my child.
As the week approaches I find myself getting more nervous. Oy Vei! (Did I spell that correctly.)
Good Night!
Re: It's time
I’d offer this understanding as you approach any meeting to “talk about your son” and as you consider your son’s well being. School is a process that can be broken apart and understood. When you do that, you can often uncover exactly what needs to be done differently to help your son be successful in school pr at the least why he is getting many Fs.
Here would the primary questions I’d consider asking them.
What LD(s) do they see your son as having? (don’t let them drag the meeting down with too much jargon)
and quickly move on this question and its parts-
What is the impact of those LD(s) on his school skills?
a. his reading
b. his writing
c. his grasp of material
d. his test scores
e. his homework
f. his interaction with classmates and teacher
What do they intend to do to remediate his issues?
What do they intend to do to accomodate his issues so that he can be successful in school?
Please post back letting us know what LDs they see your son as having. Some are more difficult to work around than others.
Good luck.
Re: It's time
Dear Worried Mom:
No matter who we are, how many meetings we’ve already done, I think most of us get nervous about that next meeting when it approaches. So don’t feel alone! ; )
To best prepare yourself, take some time to really think about your son and jot it all down. For our son, it was a good report card and parents wanting the evaluations, so it was much easier for me to do this step. He was 8 at the time and was eventually diagnosed with dysgraphia.
We typed a list of our overall concern with his education. Be sure to make a note that your son is frustrated and upset about school at this time.
We then listed out general information about our son in the categories of gross motor skills, fine motor skills, verbal skills, space/time, senses and emotions. We listed when he was/wasn’t doing things within the different categories. This list had both positives and negatives.
We found that the listing of information down in each helped us to express what we have seen over the years with our son to give credence to our belief that he needed testing for LD. It also was a great place to help the ‘school officials’ in deciding which areas needed the emphasis of testing and which tests to useIt also helps in showing the school system you know your child.
Since I’m not sure what areas are of concern, it’s hard to give some clues of what to be really looking at, but if you would like to see a copy of what we did with our son, feel free to email me personally and I will forward you a list.
Best wishes with your meeting!
Re: It's time
Wanda you have already gotten some very good advice.
I would do as Sara said and take it one step further as Dana said by not only asking for specifics but put your questions/concerns to the team in writing.
You want to know what specific problems they see and know what specific therapies OT, PT, etc and other interventions such as what reading program they will use.
Report back here with the specifics and you will get alot more help.
Stay professional. Don’t accept the runaround. If they try that, redirect them back to the specifics.
Re: It's time
Take someone with you to the meeting—preferably someone who has been through this. I remember my first meeting—it was preschool and the room was full of people. It was overwhelming, even though the meeting was very friendly.
A spouse can be good but sometimes they are as overwhelmed as you.
Beth
Re: It's time
Being in my 40s, I find many of the teachers and specialists to be “peppy”-I think many people who work with children do a lot of smiling and upbeat talking-try not to hold it against them-but dont tolerate being talked down to either(sometimes I get THAT ‘feeling’)
They are most likely going to ask you what you want for your child-what do you foresee in his future?.
I would ask THEM the same question. I did this for the first time recently and was glad I did. Do THEY think your child will graduate from high school=go to college? Will he be out of special ed by 6th grade, 12 th grade, never?
Obviously they dont have a crystal ball but I think you can glean some information reading betweent the lines of their words and expression. I also think ‘putting them on the spot’ early in the meeting balances the power a tad so its not just the experts informing you but true give and take
I was glad to know the teachers felt my son was truly a bright kid with an optimistic future but perplexing issues.
Good luck
Do an Outline
One bit of advice I have is to do an outline before the meeting.
I did one with
Strengths
Weaknesses
questions
options
Under strengths I was able to put: behavior, perserverance, loves school
weaknesses
writing
reading,
etc.
options:
SE
resource
15 min consult only
etc.
This way, you can keep your focus when they hit you with a “whammy” (and you’ll get lots of them your first meeting) and if you’re like me :-) you won’t forget your question, what you were talking about or anything else you might need to know when you are upset, flustered, etc.
Remember, you can always say, I want to do more research before I sign anything.
They will say they can’t start services until an IEP is signed - that’s okay, a few days isn’t going to change his life, but a poorly written IEP can be a stone around his neck.
As stated above, if you can find someone to go with you, who knows they ropes, you’ll be better off.
keep in mind: the parent is 50% of the decision making team
YOU are the expert on your child
Sorry for the dissortation (sp?), but only you will have your child’s long term best interests in mind.
Re: It's time
Did they do any testing? Call and ask them to send or fax you copies of any tests or reports so you can review them BEFORE the meeting and ask questions AT the meeting. It is terribly unproductive trying to read a report while everyone is talking. It is too hard to make suggestions and give valid input when you haven’t had enough time to digest the material.
.