Had an interesting talk with my 14 year old freshman son last night. Thought I would share what he had to say about learning differences. As most of you know he has struggled with school since day 1. Here is what he had to say. He said, “you go to school the first day full of excitement and a bit of nervousness about what you are going to learn.” “For students who struggle to learn in the classroom enviroment this soon fades.” “Your feelings of exitement are replaced by feeling of dread, lonliness, and of being different.” “You find yourself falling furhter and further behind and having less in common with your peers.” “You are allowed to crash hard and then someone MAY say hey this child needs help.” “Sometimes this does not come for years and the self-esteem has taken a beating.” “To top things off you receive a label and then nothing is expected of you.” “Teachers no longer try to challenge you they just assume you can’t.” “If you are lucky, like me, you run into a teacher who offers you real help and accepts you for who you are and then you start to learn.” “After this little seed of success is planted it starts to spread and you gain confidence.” “Then do you know happens” ’ he asked me? I asked him to go on. He said, “you realize you can learn, you are not stupid, you just learn different, then you get the craving back to learn.” We had this chat after he and his sister had discussed the differences between the old school system they were in and the one they are in now. It was a very enlightening day for me. I believe there is multiple intelligences and that my sons strongest area of intelligence is relating to people. He is very good at reading them and understanding where they are coming from. Just thought you all would find this interesting.
Re: Interesting insight from a 14 year old
Lisa,
I could definitely see your son as a Psychologist or a counselor. He might enjoy taking a leadership class through the “Y” and being a junior counselor during their summer camps. (You never know he might even be a writer in his adulthood).
Helen
Re: Interesting insight from a 14 year old
Yes, I read your message just after my post. It is a few up from yours. There is no doubt about it. Your son’s comments are what I was expressing. Sometimes I think my system feels that kids can’t so why try. They need someone to believe in them. When my son was labeled my teacher friends said to me Oh he can be a plumber. Sorry lady, being a plumber would be the worst thing for him. His motor skills are the worst. That is why he is not as good at writing as the other kids. The level of knowledge, understanding, and insight he has is very good. I worry he is in a tract where many, not all teachers will know he has an IEP. Will he get what he needs to be successful? My son willbe successful and make it. He needs to go to college ect so that he can make it somewhere.
Re: Interesting insight from a 14 year old
In a nutshell what he was trying to say was, that it is a combination of his LD and the lower expectations that got him so far behind. Once he started to run into teachers who expected things of him, challenged him, but also found ways to teach around his learning difference he began to make progress. He was very fortunate in 7th grade in that he ran into 5 such teachers. These teachers did not allow him to do just enough to get by, they did not allow him to use his LD as an excuse. They helped him to find himself and started the remediation process. At the start of 7th grade he read at a 3rd grade reading level, now in mid 9th he reads at a beginning 7th. He can catch about 60% of the notes for class (up from practically none). He can write a simple couple page story, write a coherient essay, research at the library, ect. So much growth in just 2 1/2 years. It truly is like having a new person in the house. Yes an LD can be a hinderance but it does not have to permanatly shut any doors. My son is planning on going to college he is working really hard to get there and that in itself his half the battle, he know has the motiviation and drive to get there now that he know it is possible.
Re: Interesting insight from a 14 year old
Lisa I have a 14 year old daughter who also has a Reading and Language LD. Upon entering the 9th grade the Teachers were not to interested in having her in their class. They have a clear cut impression that LD students are behavior problems. Now that half the year has gone by they tell me how well she is doing, and they that they are glad to have her.My Daughter sounds alot like your son. I would describe her as being very in touch with reality. I say she has more common sence than most adults. She can overhear conversation and get the jist of what is being said without hearing everything. IN 5th grade she told me that she wanted to make something for her Teacher because her teacher was sad. She made her a pillow that night. The next day the Teacher called me and said, I want to let you know that my dog died last week and the pillow was just what I needed. The only thing is that the Teacher did not tell anyone that her dog had died. Lisa do you think that your son might want to be mail buddies with my daughter. It woul be nice for her to talk to someone who she did not have to feel worried about with spelling errors. Ig so mail me at
[email protected]
Re: Interesting insight from a 14 year old
My teacher friends(?) told me my son could be a butcher and don’t worry he won’t have to take the high school exit exam (oh, he won’t get a diploma, but don’t worry). My son is very bright, very verbal and very able to remember material presented auditorally. So, I mainstreamed him with accomodations for his very poor reading and writing. I wanted him to get an education. I tried some special ed classes, but only if they were not a waste of his time. Finally, in high school (he is now a sophomore) we enrolled him in a private college prep high school for LD children. He is taking high level classes in a very small and supportive setting. He has so many opportunites in this small school that he never, never would have had in a regular high school. He is on the journalism staff, student council, a club president and sometimes they even ask my not very coordinated son to play in a football or basketball game. He says his school is shangri-la. Next year as a junior he will take the PSAT and the SAT at the school with accomodations that they will determine. They will help us decide on a college, apply, interview. They like him and see his strengths. They encourage and guide. His difficulties are not gone, but they do not overshadow his life. I have a cousin who is an attorney who is blind. No one made him sit with a cup on a corner. My son is blessed with many wonderful qualities and we will make sure that he has choices and support to face his challenges. Good luck to you and yours.
Re: Too bad we need lots of $$
There are great things for ld kids to get help. Unfortunately, I spent most of my kid’s college fund for tutoring so he could read.
All the camps I contact that give extensive help cost as much as college.
He is wise beyond his years. It will serve him well.
Beth