Need help w/ first IEP Meeting!

I just received my copy of “From Emotions to Advocacy: The Special Education Survival Guide” by Pam Wright and Pete Wright. I ordered the “scratch and dent” special at Wrights Law and got it 50% off and it is in perfect order. It arrived in 4 days.

I recommend this book because it is easy to read and very straight forward. It explains a good system for organizing all the paperwork you will need to deal with and explaining what your options are. It might be too late to get this in time for your meeting but I still recommend it for later use. Best $15 I ever spent!

There have been other threads where people have stated excellant suggestions. In general, don’t sign anything until you have a chance to read and understand it. Get everything in writting. Don’t be afriad to ask questions. Consider having a friend come with to validate what you heard and felt. (I found that it was too easy for me and my sons’ father to get overwhelmed and emotional. The extra person helped.)

I’m somewhat confused on how they diagnosed dyslexia before testing? Also you stated that you struggled with school all year long. That sends up all sorts of red flags to me. If you KNOW the schools don’t do much for special children, I’d seriously consider getting an advocate.

Hope this helps,
Barb

Oh, PS.

I’d not mention the possible move for the very reason you stated. It takes enough time to get everything into place—why give them a reason to put it off.

You need to be prepared and well documented.

Best bet is bring a friend or advocate, someone who can sit there without emotion and be prepared to take notes and ask questions.

Do not be shy, or intimidated (easier said than done).

Although observation from the teachers is a critical portion of the child’s IEP, there is no format for this to qualify as identification of an ld. Regarding the diagnosis of dyslexia and then testing. Request for them to provide you with the full testing results and protocols of how they determined his level of disability prior to going in to the meeting so you can review it and be up to speed. Less chance of having bombs dropped at the meeting. You will need time to review this and also possibly go to an independent professional to help explain what it means. Then at the meeting, ask the person(s) who did the evaluation explain them to you too.

Do not mention anything about a potential move. If you move, do what you need to do when the time comes. If you notify that you may, and then you don’t, you will lose all kinds of valuable time. Say nothing.

Get past the struggling and feeling overwhelmed with the school and the situation. Do not involve your child in any of these feelings. Take breaks. Go for walks, peaceful cups of coffee/tea…; it will all be there when you come back. You need to be calm and focused, and not upset or overwhelmed when you go in. Be informed and remember your focus is your child’s education, not your feelings or ego or those of the district.

Good luck.

Andy

The main thing to remember is: you have every right ot just take those test results home and ponder them and get help with them befoer you make *any* decisions or sign anything.
How old is your child?
I’m also a little curious ‘bout the diagnosis before the testing… is this a good teacher who saw the signs and suggested the testing, or is this a situaiton where they’re having trouble teaching, and they’re looking for something to blame it on?
I’d suggest asking for the test results ahead of time and getting some help going over them, before the meeting.
And when in doubt, tell ‘em “well, I’m just not comfortable signing that right now. Let me talk to my advocate.” If they believe you’ve got one on retainer, great :)

Amy,
If you do go the advocate route please remember that all advocates are not created equal. It’s okay to ask for referances and reject an advocate for any reason.

Sue,
I loved your line about leading the school to believe there is an advocate on line. It made me laugh. Yes, it doesn make the school think twice about not being throurogh. On a serious note I must add that in my district getting an advocate is seen as a threat. It should not be but it is. I was warned by others with much more experience than I that in my district the advocate should be used as a background resource. IE use that person to explain the test and make recommendations but keep them out of meetings—don’t mention them to the school.

I realize from the responses that a little more info might help everyone understand my situation. So here we go!

My son attended Pre-K for a full day at a local private school. At this school students are expected to know their letters and the sounds they make before moving to K. This was something that no matter how hard we worked w/ him, he could not get. Due to a change in my husbands job, he went to K at the public school. He attended K and summer school and still did not recognize his letters- much less read.

I did some checking into the 1st grade teachers and requested a specific one for my son this year. I contacted him 4 days into the school year w/ my concerns. We had a meeting and he gave us several things to do w/ him at home. After doing these for a while w/ no progress, we consulted the doctor. He was diagnosed w/ ADD (attention only) and put on meds. We gave this time, but still saw no improvement. Then I took him to Sylvan Learning Center 3 times a week- no improvement. Well, at this point he did recognize his letters- but could not read. I noticed when working w/ him at home a lot of - sounding out p-i-t and saying tip or looking at the word her and saying the letters hre, ect… I got on the internet and came to the conclusion he was dyslexic. He had several other symthoms like his speech, a lot of trouble decoding, ect….

I called the school and requested a dyslexia screening- they agreed. A few weeks later his teacher called and said that the reusults showed he did not have dyslexia. They wanted to put him under 504 for his ADD. I simply told him that was not acceptable! When I got the results from the screening I saw that despite of the IQ of 107 he had a 79 on Rapid Naming, was not able to perform written expression, and the Phon Awareness was a low. With the reading I had done I was really confused. At that point I had the Scottish Rite look at the results- they said definantly dyslexic. The school then had someone else look at the results and agreed. Basically, they don’t have areal program so I was getting the run-around. For the remainder of the year they are doing something called- Project Read. They are supposed to be having someone certified in the Wilson program this summer.

Every step of the way I have had to stay on them. I understand this is quite typical, but I know I must have knowlege of the IEP proccess or I’ll be up a creek.

Thanks for the help!!!

P.S. I am in Texas!

Project Read is a good program.

I remember what a horror my dd’s1st grade year was - so you have my empathy. That was the year of diagnoses and battling with the school. You must be drained by now, I was.

She is ADHD Inattentive with learning differences - a remediated moderate dyslexic. She’s in 4th grade now - doing better than we could have dreamed. She was blasted early with resource room, fabulous classroom teachers and private tutoring. This spring the school will declassify her from special ed. The ADHD still trips her up - but she can read and write brilliantly (just not spell - oh well ).

Just had to chime in - too many similarities.

What exactly is a bone fide “advocate” (as opposed to bringing a friend as an “advocate”)? How does one find one, and is it a free service or paid??

I would think I would WANT to bring the advocate to all meetings, and I would WANT the school to know that I mean business. One of you suggested that the advocate should work behind the scenes. Any thoughts?

I understand the reasoning behind some people using an advocate behind the scenes. Many schools play passive-aggressive on you if you step into “their” territory — on the face of it they are only trying to help you and only doing the best for the child, but in fact if you look at what is really happening they punish you and the child ferociously if you dare to disagree with them or challenge their knowledge and authority. The way the schools are presently constituted, with any overt conflict and/or discipline being absolutely out, passive-aggressive behaviour is actually expected of and taught to teachers, so the system is full of past masters.
As for example, a school where I was tutoring a student; couldn’t take him home because he had to be in attendance, even though parents were paying me — but that was OK, they’d give us a room, of course I can’t store any materials there; then another class gets scheduled into the same room at the same time — we have to have space for *our* teachers after all (and my student being very distractable, well forget it) — then into another room, where they send the autistic child when he loses control; then into another room where the daycare people are used to coming for their coffee break; then of course when I and the parents try to explain we were guaranteed a private place, well, the school has done everything it can, bent over backwards and provided three different rooms and we still aren’t satisfied and we are just demanding the impossible … the fact that they forced the situation in the first place when the plan was to have him home, that never happened. Another kid, same school, parents took him out one afternoon a week so he could upgrade his reading, starting at Grade 2 level in Grade 4, obvious intervention needed; the school agreed and seemed to be OK for a couple of months, then this term the report card comes back with better grades in general but an F in one subject and a very unpleasant note about how his absences for tutoring are “interfering” with his learning. Another kid, different school, has been writing and doing math with reversals and was failing, judged dyslexic; I’m tutoring him after school but even this puts many teachers’ noses out of joint when they find out about it, that someone thinks they can do better than the “professionals” (in fact I have twice the education they do, but they don’t recognize it); he is finally writing forwards and doing his math much better, and on this report card most of his marks came up to average — but the teacher was very angry and very critical and upset his mother because his work in his journal was *messy*; apparently neat reversed and failing was better than free-flowing forwards and correct.

People who have been bitten by this learn to keep quiet and not tell the school anything.

That isn’t always the best move; sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand and face them down. But they will passive-aggressive punish you for it forever after, so you have to decide where the cost is worth it.

Hi, Judy.

Victoria covered quite nicely why one would use an advocate in background! Pick your battles carefully as there is always cost involved.

I believe you saw Sock’s posts over in the “teaching” forum and therefore have your advocate questions answered. But, since I was asked and I love to hear myself talk, I’ll answer anyway! Bear in mind that I’m a parent just beginning my own journey though the sp ed process with my babies. Check and double check anything I tell you. Also, each district is different. Having said that…

An advocate can be anyone you want. The term covers the friend who goes with to offer moral support as well as the attorney collecting data to sue. HOWEVER when I say advocate, I generally mean a “lay” person (ie not an attorney or someone connected with the school) who has had special training in the spec ed process in your area. These people can be hired just as one would hire an attorney, be a free freelancer as Socks appears to be, or be free to you though an organization. In my area many people connect with advocates though Pacer.org The advocate is trained by Pacer and is free to me. I have no idea what her relationship to Pacer is. Maybe they pay her, maybe not. Most Pacer advocates are parents who have gone though this and now want to help others. If you are interested in connecting with a Pacer type organization in your area I suggest you go to www.pacer.org One the left hand side of their home page (on a purple background) is a link to “national resources” or something like that. In the middle and bottom of that page pacer-like org are listed by state.

Barb

AMy please i) ask (EVERYTHING IN WRITING NOW DEARIE) for a copy of the results - maybe you can get these BEFORE the meetng ii) nicely ask at the first meeting to have these explained to you in a way you understand iii) you’ll be taking that IEP with you next year no need to fluster up your school with that info now iv)go to readmartin.com - this has some good stuff on what should be in iep, and wrightslaw.com. iv) remembr that specific learning disability in reading IS dyslexia (they don’t use that work here since itr’s “old fashioned”-go figure) v) find an sp ed support/advocacy group
good luck and god bless