Big Decision

I am just pretending to be Ball.

I think it would not be a bad idea to make sure Alex gets plenty of unstructured play. It is obvious that you are an excellent parent who loves her son very much but out of that love don’t make the mistake of over-parenting him.

It would be nice if the public school could provide him with some indpendent study and tasks that matched his talents but today’s teachers are not too creative and if they were some bone head would hassle them.

Feel free to email ball

Wouldnt this mini-camp give you an idea of how he would do with the gifted school on a long term basis? I think that would be VERY beneficial.

Thanks for responding, who ever you are. Please tell Ball that I have no idea what’s going on but if he wasn’t around, I would miss him. As for unstructured play… Alex was not always high functioning and I’ve had to over parent to be able to parent him at all. There was a time when he was so uninterested in people that he didn’t know my name (mommy) or answer to his own. His idea of play was very limited. We are very lucky to have not only Alex but his brother who is a year and a week older. Big brother is an excellent “play therapist” and I’m sure Alex would not be who he is today without him.

That’s one of the things I’m thinking. I’ve told them that I think Alex would benefit from public kindergarten because of the play issue. But when 1st grade rolls around, a small private school that encourages children’s different learning styles may start looking really good.

It is important to recognize the need for play. Children and adults need to play.

Ball has been banned for posting anti-drug information and bringing up the possibilty that ADHD is a result of bad parenting. He did it in his usual direct and Ballesque manner and for that they banned him. You would think that a person with Ball’s disability would have been given some understanding especially here.

Anyway the board is all paranoid and they are accusing everybody of being Ball and a lot of content is being erased because some mom’s got their panties in a bunch over it.

I’d say go for it. Try it and if it doesn’t work you can pull him out. If you don’t try it, then how will you know?

Gifted kindergartners — make sure he has a book to read in his backpack and/or desk; then when the class is learning to write an a, he can write it and then read for a while. Just discuss with both him and the teacher and make sure he is called back into the group for social things.

If the school is good, there’ll be lots of play in a small group too. And a small group might be better for him to really make friends.

Have you considered explaining your concerns with the private school? Everything,everywhere,anytime,is a good time to educate others about what your kid needs.

It sounds like a great opportunity to test out the school before next fall. You will be challanged to find the perfect placement for him , but from what you’ve said my gut reaction is to go for the small private school. If social issues are his biggest area of concern, then a small classroom will allow the teacher to facilitate. Throwing him into a large class where a lot of playing happens around him won’t necessarily help him learn how to play.

I don’t know if I’d go for the public K just for the play issue. Is there no play in the private school? I think K in general has become much more academic in orientation. My oldest is 12 and I remember discussing with her teacher in K the need for recess and play time…….and that was a public school.

Personally, I’d try out the gifted program. You will have a good idea whether it will work for your son. He isn’t going to be a perfect match for any program but I’d bet you will find a culture more tolerant of differences in the gifted program than in the public school.

Beth

One thing about free play that I learned is that kids can be playing and in actuality they are lost in their own world. Inattention city.

Free play is important but it should be social for a child like this. It should involve interactions with others. It should not be about him entering his own world. He needs to interact with as many other kids as possible.

My son can be inattentive at times. He does this creative free play with sound effects and all. I now will stop him and play tag with him myself or practice jumping off the stairs while he grabs my moving hands. He thinks this is fun. It is like play but involves paying attention.
It gives him the physical stimulation he needs without the inattention.

He doesn’t do this as much anymore. He is more attentive with most things.

Thh fact that Rose is so lovingly complimentary toward someone who has come out against gifted children and children with learning disabilities makes me think that Rose may not be Rose at all.

nt

Gifted children are all special needs kids in their own way, and most of them are a challenge for their teacher. Depending on the way the class is formatted, it could be a great benefit to your son. Since you have such great flexibility for this last month, you could give it a try, with the option of pulling him out if you sense that it isn’t working.

My guess is that if your son handles all the activities that he attends pretty well, then he would be fine at the gifted school. Since it is such a small class, and it’s towards the end of the year, then any additional child might seem a bit disruptive to the routine, so give it a fair chance.

I’d also be cautious if the classroom seems to lack structure. My son is in the autistic spectrum and never did well with “learning through creative self discovery” approach. He was in a Montessori preschool for two years, and would come home with amazing observations like “there are 16 windows on the back of my school, and 12 are big the same size, 3 are small the same size, and one is round.” (What 4 year old notices windows—?)

In my ignorance at the time, I didn’t notice that, with all of the freedom he was given to think, he wasn’t focusing on any of the specific activities that the class was engaged in, and since he was clever, he could go through the motions and convince his teachers he was learning whatever they were trying to teach, when he wasn’t.

In retrospect, the most annoying thing was that no one really engaged my son in conversations that took advantage of what he was actually experiencing in the class. (Think of the arithmetic and geometry skills he could have acquired!) I think a gifted teacher might be able to exploit a talent like that a little better than the average public school teacher who has 25 children, 6 to 8 of whom do not really fit in the “normal” category.

and I know her kids and history. This is her.

And Ball has given some good advice…..which is what she was responding to—he just has gone way too far lately.

Beth

Thank you all for your support. It really helps me make my decision, knowing what the experts here think. I have talked to the school about my concerns and they seem eager to make things work. I think it’s an opportunity that I would regret passing up. So, I think we’ll go for it. Wish us luck. By the way, it really is me. I’m sorry to hear Ball went too far. I’d grown to appreciate his politically incorrect character.

He is getting what he wanted. Don’t let him!

that is totally what my oldest son would have done too! He still does!
Gifted/ADHD/LD

Glad you were able to get what you needed in spite of having had Ball pretending he was you lately. I’m sorry if I caused you any problems.

It isn’t ball.

It is the rest of you acting like babies.

Ball is making you look like a bunch of fools and he is having a good laugh at your expense.

Even Ball doesn’t have that much power.

Maybe you should start a 12 step program to deal with Ball.

Step one, We admitted we were powerless over Ball.

Step two, We admitted to our self and one other person the exact nature of our jealousy.

.

Good luck with it, and do give it time to work out.

As far as Ball, politically incorrect is one thing — I am also frequently PI — but being cruel and obscene and promulgating hoaxes is quite another issue. Ball unfortunately went far, far across that line. Too bad, because I also agree that in his calmer moments he often had worthwhile things to say. I tried to suggest to him one time that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but he paid absolutely no attention and continued unfounded attacks.