I have always felt that coaching could be very helpful to me, especially at home with my daughter, since I first read about it. However, it is not a service that my insurance covers and it is out of my price range and, on top of that, I have not been able to locate anyone advertising coaching services that are meant for people with ADHD (As a matter of fact, I’ve now been told that coaching is a business service and has nothing to do with the disorder at all).
I have tried many things to try to bring some reasonable order to my household, but nothing has been successful for very long. My therapist is willing to discuss the issues and strategize with me, but I really feel that this isn’t going to be remedied by any amount of “insight” or even a good plan if it isn’t backed up with some sort of concrete support structure.
I know my disorganization at home is not good for my daughter. I have a lot of difficulty consistently setting limits and it leads to behavior problems. It is all the more disheartening and embarrassing due to the fact that my job basically boils down to being able to provide these kind of support structures and behavioral interventions to the SED kids I work with. I imagine my co-workers would be mortified if they knew how little control I have over my own daughter.
Now she is having behavior problems at school, not getting work done and sometimes hitting other children when she is frustrated. The areas needing improvement have always been described in terms of atention and impulsivity, but not severe enough to require assessment.
In the meantime, I feel like I am waiting around for the behavior to get bad enough. But, of course, I don’t want it to go there. I tend to think that if I could do what I need to do, then my daughter would be just fine.
Does a person have to be in crisis to find help? What does one do when one is too high functioning for public intervention, but doesn’t have enough resources to get what they need without help? Does anyone have any suggestions of resources that might be available to someone like me.
Re: coaching
What about starting with some videos and books with audio tapes from Daniel Amen, MD? They are affordable and I think they would help you..The one video I saw was so good…it certainly helped me understand ADD better..
Are you involved with a church that may have a mentoring program available for you? I was talking to the mother of a boy with ADHD a few days ago and she said a mentoring program at church has helped her son so much. She said an older man and his wife were like another set of parents for her son. It has taught him skills that have transferred over to his ability to control himself and have sensitivity to other people and cope with the disorganization at home. She said cub scouts helped her son too.
I go through periods where I am very organized and when I am too busy things fall apart. It helps me to have a calendar to organize my time, and finish things that I start. That is the hardest part for me following through..I am getting much better at it though…. I try to put away things when I use them, limit my time on the phone and the computer. It takes a lot of self-control and it is hard at times. My kids have chores and have to have a calendar to follow if they want things they have to work for them. I can be a pushover and I have to learned to focus and organize my time better. You can do it, perhaps we can coach you here…through e-mail.
Re: coaching
Heather, You say your daughter is having behavior problems and hitting kids at school. You might take a look at “The Explosive Child” by Dr. Ross Greene. I’m about half way through it and think it has a number of useful insights and strategies. It is now available in paperback. I number of parents on other forums I monitor (whose kids often have behavior problems) are highly laudatory.
Re: coaching
How about your local chapter of CHADD?? I have personally found that reading everything I can find on the subject has worked for me but that does not work for everyone. The idea about everyone on this site being your coach works too.
I’d say two things. If your daughter is hitting other students, the issue has become worthy of assessment. It certainly would be in my school.
For a resource, what about her pediatrician? Or the family doctor? Their job is to direct you to resources when they can’t help but perhaps they can.
As your mention your daughter’s issues have been consistently described as attention and impulsivity, you could consider getting in touch with your local branch of CHADD. Do a quick websearch and you’ll find the address of your nearest local chapter. They might be able to direct you to resources for issues with attention and implusivity as well.