My son had a rocky start with homework this year for the first time. We had a 504 meeting and it was agreed that, if necessary, he could turn in homework a day late, if for some reason he didn’t get it done the first night, i.e., forgot to write down the assignment, forgot to bring the book home, etc. He has gradually become more organized with our and his teachers’ help and is getting things in pretty much on time. The first quarter is almost over, and he has gotten everything turned in, although some papers were one or more days late.
One of the teachers apparently told the kids the first couple of weeks of school that there would be a party for the kids who turned all their homework in the next day without fail. Three kids in the class didn’t. One missed several weeks of the quarter, one simply doesn’t bother to do homework, and the third is my son. I have a huge problem with this. First of all, I think it is cruel to single kids out like this for any reason because it doesn’t accomplish anything for the ones who don’t care, but it’s especially cruel for a child like my son who is doing his darn best with the continuous support of us at home as his parents to help him succeed. It’s like all the work we have done to keep him feeling positive about school and feeling responsible about homework is undone with this negative message. He was in tears when he came home because of missing the party, and, if that’s not enough, they are expected to spend the hour and a half doing busy work while all the other kids have their party.
Am I way off base here?
Re: Cruel and unusual?
I have to agree with your assesment of the situation. My son, who is 14, has missed many field trips and parties for the same reason. However, there is no way to coach all the teachers in a school district on this type of thing, and we actually never find out in time to talk to a principle. Since he has ADHD, he never remembers to tell me until he has already spent his time in a study hall with extra work…
Re: Cruel and unusual?
I have to agree with your assesment of the situation. My son, who is 14, has missed many field trips and parties for the same reason. However, there is no way to coach all the teachers in a school district on this type of thing, and we actually never find out in time to talk to a principle. Since he has ADHD, he never remembers to tell me until he has already spent his time in a study hall with extra work…
Re: Cruel and unusual?
How on earth did you handle these hurtful incidents with your son? It sounds like this is something we are going to have to get used to. When my son was in elementary school, the teachers were very careful not to hold up the high achievers in front of the lower achievers when it came to rewards. They taught the kids not to invite the class to a birthday party if you wanted to exclude one or two kids. They taught them to be kind and thoughtful. Why on earth do they think a 12 year old isn’t going to hurt as much as a 7 year old? How would we, as adults feel, if the staff party didn’t include the entire staff? These are not the kind of lessons I want my son to learn from his teachers, people we have taught him to try to respect and look to as role models.
This teacher is aware of his 504, was in on the meeting where it was decided to accept homework if it was a day late without penalty. Her justification is that this is homework back to the beginning of the quarter that was 2 to 3 days late, so, oh well…
I remember my son coming out of his kindergarten class in tears every day because everyone got their hand stamped for staying seated, finishing tasks, etc. He didn’t even realize what he was doing wrong, and would go to the teacher with the rest of the class every single day with his hand out, only to be told he wasn’t getting a stamp. This is what this reminds me of.
Re: Cruel and unusual?
I am so sorry for your son. How does a 14 year old handle that kind of rejection?
I don’t understand why this kind of stuff is allowed. With all the attention the media has given to children who feels shut out and rejected, why do they allow this.
I am not suggesting that your or my son would act out like the kids in the media have, but why would teachers want to be a part of even maybe contributing to a child feeling that way. I just don’t get it…
Re: Cruel and unusual?
I would have to point out that excluding your son from the party is a penalty, if he is allowed to have his work turned in one day later (not late) than the other students and it is turned in that allotted time, then technically, he is ‘on time’. I would call her on this for sure. Especially not to penalize him for the earlier timeframe when his difficulty was unrecognized and unaddressed. Maybe go to the principal too? Good luck to you and your son, boy howdy, middle school is a whole new adventure, I have a 7th grader.
Re: Cruel and unusual?
The funny thing is, this is the same school my son attended last year for sixth grade (which is considered middle school here). He did the switching classrooms, lockers, etc., and managed to keep up with his homework with no problem.
It's discrimination and illegal
Okay under 504 Laws,they can not discriminate against him for having accomodations!
Here are just a few sections of the 504 law that would apply.
(a) General. A recipient that operates a public elementary or secondary education program or activity shall provide a free appropriate public education to each qualified handicapped person who is in the recipient’s jurisdiction, regardless of the nature or severity of the person’s handicap.
(b) Appropriate education. (1) For the purpose of this subpart, the provision of an appropriate education is the provision of regular or special education and related aids and services that (i) are designed to meet individual educational needs of handicapped persons as adequately as the needs of nonhandicapped persons are met and (ii) are based upon adherence to procedures that satisfy the requirements of §§ 104.34, 104.35, and 104.36.
§ 104.44 Academic adjustments.
(a) Academic requirements. A recipient to which this subpart applies shall make such modifications to its academic requirements as are necessary to ensure that such requirements do not discriminate or have the effect of discriminating, on the basis of handicap, against a qualified handicapped applicant or student. Academic requirements that the recipient can demonstrate are essential to the instruction being pursued by such student or to any directly related licensing requirement will not be regarded as discriminatory within the meaning of this section. Modifications may include changes in the length of time permitted for the completion of degree requirements, substitution of specific courses required for the completion of degree requirements, and adaptation of the manner in which specific courses are conducted.
Personally I would write a letter telling them that they are discriminating against him for needing a 504 plan. I would send this to the 504 coordinator in your school and cc it to the principal. The teacher can not punnish your child for having a plan that is suppose to help him be a part of the class.
Re: Cruel and unusual?
Some teachers do not really accommodate for neurological challenges like ADHD. That’s the real world in my view.
The worst teachers can be those who verbally claim they accommodate for ADHD but really do not. The Italian politician Machiavelli would understand them quite well.
Some teachers simply want certain outcomes and results and tend to reward only those outcomes and results; they don’t really understand what ADHD is or in some situations they don’t really care and may work with percentages for most of the class (51% of the class) vs the entire class (100%). In the Christian religion, there is a gospel story about going after the lost sheep; some teachers in the real world will never bother.
That’s my observation.
Re: Cruel and unusual?
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. pgd, your comment about the lost sheep said it all. This is the first time we have had to deal with something like this since my son was in kindergarten and cried every day when he didn’t get his hand stamped for perfect behavior. This, from the very teacher who mentioned ADHD for the first time— his doctor never did…
I guess we have to accept that there are good and bad teachers, and we will just have to take over where the bad ones leave off.
Re: Cruel and unusual?
With many years of teaching experience and two now nearly grown children, I like to think I have something to offer when questions are asked on this board. But your good question makes me realize how little I truly know. I don’t know how we’ve handled the hurtful incidents all these years. If I started to really think about it, I think I’d cry.
But I can tell you how my son handles it. One time he was yelled at for his choice of a book for independent reading. Dyslexic, he reads poorly, and the teacher yelled at him for “trying to get out of doing his work” as the book he asked to read was “too easy” said the teacher. (He reads at a level much lower than his classmates and the book was honestly chosen.)
When my son told me this, I asked him - for the first time really - how do you deal with that? Stunned that any teacher would speak in that tone to any child, I asked him honestly - what is going through your mind when someone speaks that way to you? When a teacher - a person whose care you’re in speaks that way to you?
He said, ” Being a teacher gives you a lot of power over other people and I think that power takes them over. It kind of corrupts them in a way.”
I agreed with his analysis but said - how do you go on being pleasant and respectful after getting yelled at that way? (I couldn’t do it)
He said, “I try to interact with my teachers as the people they could be rather than the people they seem to be.”
Learning that powerful lesson I guess is the silver lining in the dark cloud that all this has been.
Best wishes to you and your son on your journey through school.
Re: Thanks
My son is eight and struggles a lot with the unfairness of how hard he has to work next to other people. I’d like to think that some good will come out of it. Your son has managed to turn lemon into lemonade with a maturity beyond most of us. You should be proud.
No, you’re not off base. The teacher is. First off, the practice of giving parties to some students for work done and not to others is a poor one. We continue to create this kind of divisions within our schools and thus risk creating angry, alientated students. This practice also assumes that kids don’t do homework because they choose not to. Twenty years of teaching tells me that most kids who don’t do homework have underlying reasons such as living in very challenged circumstances and family troubles at home.
In your son’s case, the playing field isn’t level and her practice is obviously unfair. Your son is asked to do the same tasks but with learning differences, those same tasks are more arduous for him than they are for students who do not have learning differences.
Is this teacher aware your son has a504? Is she aware of his learning differences? If I were upset about this, I’d ask her if her intention is to punish your son for his learning differences. If she says no, I’d ask isn’t that what she’s doing in effect?
These things have happened to me son through his school career. You can only get an A in reading and go to the pizza party for A readers if you read 12 books outside school but with dyslexia, how can you read as fast as do the other students and polish off 12 books in 10 weeks? He must write out the names of the states and their capitols in 5 minutes (why??)to go the the Geography Club party but with dysgraphia, he cannot write quickly.
We can’t fight every battle. We pick and choose.
Good luck to you and your son.