Does anyone have any ideas on how to keep non-ADHD siblings from feeling ignored and left out? I currently am helping a mother who is very active in getting help for her 6 year old ADHD son, play therapy, socialization groups, etc. Her 5 year old daughter is feeling left out of all these activities in which her brother gets to participate (she thinks of these as just fun experiences for her brother that she does not get to attend). Of course the little boy although greatly helped by therapy and Adderal still requires more daily attention than his sister Their single mom feels that the time she is able to spend especially with her daughter is just not enough. The little girl has been acting up in kindergarten recently and misbehaving at home more than the usual amount. I have tried to find sites on the internet about this but haven’t had any luck. I would appreciate any info or first hand experiences anyone would like to share.
Thank you.
Re: siblings of children with ADHD
I agree - special uninterrupted time with the non-ADHD’er is important. It doesn’t make everything level, but does make a difference. Last year, when my non ADHD’er was in 1/2 day Kind. and her older ADHD sister was in full day school, on Fridays, when I had off from work, we spent time together. We went out to the bagel store for lunch, would read a book together and she would help me fold laundry (ugh, but she felt special b/c it was a “big girl” thing to do. Even things that are routine, like grocery shopping with the non-ADHD’er alone every week, could make a difference, because it would be special to them. How about they develop their own special routines when the ADHD’er is in social skill class for instance?
This is a tough one, because you get a lot of guilt and as a parent you have to “bite the bullet” so to speak and give the ADHD’er the attention they need right now. But it sounds like the non-ADHD’er is developing issues b/c of this, so that has to be a priority too now. Also, in my house, things got better when we addressed the ADHD with medication and started behavior plans - we are not as stressed as we used to be. So tell your friend to cheer up too, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I can sympathize with this mother’s difficulties. I have 6 children and always feel I leave out one or the other. It is a very difficult issue. I like to take my children on “special days” one on one with me. Your friend should find time once or twice a week to take her daughter on a “special day” to a park or the mall or to the library or just out to get ice cream. I know that will be hard as a single mother, but with friends and family helping she will be able to find the time. She should let her daughter know that she values her just for who she is. Perhaps they can get into a hobby together, such as gardening or sewing or cooking, with her daughter helping as best as her abilities will allow. They don’t have to go anywhere, just have someone take the son for a couple of hours while mommy and daughter have a special time making cookies together.
I wish her luck.