Hello, I have never written on this board before, but I feel that the messages that I have read have all been incredibly supportive and helpful and that is the kind of board that I want to be a part of. I have a little girl who is 5 1/2 years old. She’s in kindergarten, which started 28 days ago. She is the only girl in the class, just to make this known. Each day she comes home and has been put in some kind of time away, or has been spoken to for some kind of “problem.” She was even sent to the principal’s office last week for calling some boy a tattle tail. I didn’t get a note or a phone call about the incident, but was curious as to what had happened. The principal wasn’t sure of the details as to why she was sent to her office, and I find that to be ridiculous considering that my daughter was sent there to be disciplined for whatever she did. How can it not be clear as to what she did wrong?? Sarah, my daughter is a very active little girl, and many of the other messages posted describe my girl too. She is a bright kid, but very, very active, and can’t sit still. The teacher says that she seems distracted and Sarah loses recess priveleges for not being able to stay in the circle at circle time. She also lost her time to do art with the art teacher, which Sarah really likes to do because she didn’t do the pledge of the allegience. She isn’t allowed to bring her work home from her cubby because she forgot her back pack. I may be over sensitive because she’s my little girl, and I do want for her to be a part of a structured class…..i think that Sarah would benefit best from that. However, it seems that there is alot of negativity each day for her and that isn’t supposed to be what school is all about. She was labeled a wanderer on the sixth day of kindergarten! I am at a loss as to where to get quality care for her to be tested for ad/hd, and for other things that could be contributing to her behavior issues. She is easily distracted, can be agressive, even slightly violent at times, has horrible, horrible night terrors, etc. She definetly has something that isn’t quite right, and I feel sure about this, but can’t seem to understand where to take her to be evaluated by a child specialist other than a psychiatrist. I’m so incredibly sick of and heart broken over the fact that most of the professionals that we have seen have blamed Sarah’s problems on our parenting skills, which by the way, I feel are not inadequate and contacted a parent educator to come into our home to make sure that I was parenting in an appropriate manner. Why can’t a pediatrician listen to me? Why does my daughter have to go to school before someone will recognize that there is a problem? Why are teachers taken seriously, but I’m not..me who has given birth to, raised and worked with her for all of her life?? Why am I completely responsible for all of the “bad” stuff and not taken seriously when I state what we’re going through here at home? We live in Vermont……these new school issues are horribly upsetting for me. I want for my daughter to learn to the best of her ability~no matter what her learning style is, or to what capacity she is able to learn. I want it to be a positive experience. I sense that there is great power struggles in the classroom between Sarah and the teacher, and I sense that there is a lack of chemistry for my daughter on the teacher’s be half. Regardless, I need help with where I can take her to have some kind of specialist for children try to help me work with Sarah to figure out what is going on, and what we can do to ensure that she is presenting herself in a manner that she can learn, and be helped to learn. I’m sorry for rambling for so long…..thank you for any information or comments that any of you may have. Marie
Re: My little girl...AD/HD??
Marie,
You absolutely need to have her evaluated. You don’t have to have your peditrician’s approval to do this, although your insurance may require it. If you can afford to pay for the evaluation, be sure you get a psychologist or pyschiatrist who works with AD/HD kids. There is still a huge myth out there that ADD is only affects boys, it is not true. In some cases girls don’t even show up until much later. My daughter was 10 when she was diagnosed.
I don’t know much about the evaluations at the school, but I know that can’t deny her the ability to learn. Check around with parents at the school find out ( assuming it is public ) who has ADD and ask them for help learning the ropes.
To help you educate yourself, there is an excellent book by Katherine Noveau and someone else called Understanding your AD/HD daughter. I think this is close to the correct title.
Also, Driven to Distraction is almost the bible on ADD. A Good wevsite to visit is www.add.about.com.
Your daughter being denied recess for instance is not good for an AD/HD child or any kindergartener. She needs the physical outlet. You really need to get her evaluated and to discuss with the teacher and principle your concerns. The information on the websites can get you started. If you child is not ADD, she may have someother issues which still need to be addressed.
Good luck to you.
Re: My little girl...AD/HD??
You’re bumping into the some of the sad realities of schools. Schools, like many other institutions, tend to like to shift accountability off their shoulders and onto someone else’s. In this case, the parents.
We don’t live in a world yet where schools ask parents, “What else can I do for you? as might a waiter in a restaurant. Until then, parents contend as best they can.
I found the best thing to do as a parent was counsel my child to “go with the flow”. Unless you’re interested in homeschooling a child or have other schools available to you, if you want your child in school, it’s like being in Rome. When in Rome, do what the Romans do… at all that. As best you can.
Does your daughter have a pediatrician? Or a family doctor? That’s never a bad place to start with questions like - does my daughter need testing? Is she ADD?
Good luck.
Re: My little girl...AD/HD??
You’re bumping into the some of the sad realities of schools. Schools, like many other institutions, tend to like to shift accountability off their shoulders and onto someone else’s. In this case, the parents.
We don’t live in a world yet where schools ask parents, “What else can I do for you? as might a waiter in a restaurant. Until then, parents contend as best they can.
I found the best thing to do as a parent was counsel my child to “go with the flow”. Unless you’re interested in homeschooling a child or have other schools available to you, if you want your child in school, it’s like being in Rome. When in Rome, do what the Romans do… at all that. As best you can.
Does your daughter have a pediatrician? Or a family doctor? That’s never a bad place to start with questions like - does my daughter need testing? Is she ADD?
Good luck.
Re: My little girl...AD/HD??
Dear Marie,
I understand your frustration. You should have your child evaluated. I would recommend you read the book “The out of sync child”. While ADHD may be a possibility, along with the school environment, fidgety , wandering behavior can also be a sympton of Sensory integration Issues. An occaupational Therapist, ideally one trained in Sensory Integration can test your child.
Good luck. Don’t question yourself as a parent just explore your child’s behavior to see what can be done to help her better naviagte through her enviroment.
Diane
Marie,
I KNOW how you are feeling. The burden to prove you ARE a good parent is insulting. Your post really contains two seperate issues.
1. The school is responsible to manage her classroom behavior in a proactive manner. If they are concerned about her behavior,they should be trying interventions before a behavior problem presents itself. The fact that she is the only girl,could lend itself to this problem. I would ask to meet with the school.
They could try another class,with other little girls,or they could do what is called a Functional Behavior assessment. This is where a school psychologist,or a certified Behavior anaylst goes into the classroom,observes the teacher as well as your daughter,and makes suggestions on possible interventions.
2. If the school is considering the fact that there is something there, they MUST evaluate her. I do not know if they told you this,but it is true. Under federal Law they must identify ANY child whom might have a learning problem. Now they will tell you they are not qualified to evaluate for ADHD,and this is true,they aren’t. But they must find someone who is,and at no cost to you. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act has a section called “Child Find provisions” look this up,you will find that the School district not only recieves Federal money to use strictly on evaluated children,but they are obligated by law to do this.The other thing is,as her parent,if YOU feel she has a need for evaluation,they must evaluate her.
Hope this helps,good luck.