My ADHD son uses parenting techniques on me. What do I do? (No, we don’t spank!)
The broken record-
In this house we don’t hit!
He hit me first.
In this house we don’t hit!
He hit me first.
In this house we don’t hit!
He hit me first.
Choices-
May I have a chocolate bar or chips?
May I play on the Nintendo or the computer?
Please help!
Re: Child using parenting techniques on me!
Your post is a little unclear but if your son is telling you someone hit him first - that doesn’t change a thing. We DO NOT hit even if hit first. Hitting always gets us into trouble even if we didn’t start it. And then it’s time to stop arguing and get him in trouble however you do that in your house. In my house, hitting was a big time time out. To the room and stay there for a good long while.
And I wasn’t happy for a while after that. The time in the room didn’t wipe the hit away. Everything wasn’t rosy when my son came out of that room.
As to his cute questions about which may I have a chocolate bar or chips, the answer is neither if you want it to be. I’d admire your son’s quick way with words and his obvious intelligence and assume he inheritied those from you. If you want to come out on top in these “debates” with him, I have every confidence that you can.
Good luck.
Gotta tell you,typical ADHD kiddo. There smart,and they don’t give up!
In the years one thing I have learned,no one technique works for ever. You got to change techniques.
Being that they are so smart,I also explain exactly why I am doing something too.
Ex. Since you are not going to stop asking ,I will tell you no only once. When you insist on repeating your request over and over again,I will be left with no other choice but to take nintendo away for one week. Now that this is understood,be prepared for this consequence.
Always remember, If you give in even once in your life ,they will be reinforced by that for a LONG,LONG time.
These are hard people to raise. They will utilize any manipulative way that will get their immediate needs met. It is only when they Know you,will call them on it,that they stop pushing your buttons.
On the side,Nintendo,computer,is only utilized at specific time frames in my house. If they ask during this timeframe,they are expected to provide me with proof that nothing else needs to be done. I.e. Homework. Then the time limit is specific. Nintendo got very dusty and unplayed for a LONG time,until the limits were clear.They are incredibly resilent.