Here is the long story:
I was diagnosed with dislexia (sp?) when I was in first grade. I had difficulties through out my school years and never did very well even though through testing found I have an I.Q. of 146. I ended taking my equ. test at age 14 and graduated high school my freshman year. So when my young son started showing learning problems in school I was extremely concerned. When my son started kindergaten his teacher and school councler was concerened with his inability to pay attention, his excessive movement during class, his low reading abilities, and his imaturity. They recommended that I have him tested for add or other learing problems. I took my ds to the his dr and the dr didn’t think there was a problem. That a 5 year old child usually has this problems and this was common. He also thought that his problems could have been “depression” from the sepperation his father and I made and he was having difficulties adjusting to his new environment (my ds father and I broke up when ds was two, but he had to temp. move with his father for 8 months but I still would see him every weekend Fri - Sun and would speak to him on the phone everyday).
The dr’s explanation sounded ok to me, although deep down I really believed ds’s problems were more than this due to my back ground. But, I was willing to believe the “easier” theory. I didn’t want to beleive there was a bigger problem. Ds continued to struggle his k year in school, but the school offered private councling and tutoring and ds started to catch up with the other studuntes. HIs teacher still believed there was a problem though. she did think ds was doing well enough to go to 1st grade.
That summer ds moved back with me and my dh, and still was seeing his father. He was and is extremely happy and well adjusted. I placed him in a summer program that offered a school study so he wouldn’t fall “behind”. THe teachers there again recomened having him tested for ld or add and really “saw a problem” and they said he wasn’t difficult to communicate wtih. I dind’t listen. I still thought my son was trying to adjust. Especially now that he just changed his living arragnements again. So agian I ignored what was goiing on.
Well, my son started 1st grade at age . Within 2 weeks of school I was getting calls from his teacher. Again I was told there was a problem. We asked to have him tested and the school called us in for a meeting. The teacher, principle, councler, special ed teacher and few others were there. The teacher, my husband and myself explained the problems we have seen. Ds’s lack of being able to pay atteniton, his inability to sit in his seat, his excessive movement, how he gets “zoned out and its hard to get him to come back down to reality when he gets in his little world”, his learning difficulities, etc. the councler said he was fine, and had to “adjust” to his living arragnements. He gave us a “behaviral chart” and sent us on our way. After a few motnhs of the teacher and us the parents following what the councerl said to do no change. And now my son was getting worse. So this time they sent home a form for us to feel out and same with the teacher. A few weeks later we get a letter showing us his scores and it said he has all the characterisitics of add and the scores but it could also be other problems and we should take him to our own dr. My dr said he doesn’t like to diagnose add and we should realle take him back to the school. That he sees it all the time and knows it a true problem, it wasn’t his specialty. He fealt more ocmfortable with people who deal with the problem on a daily basis making a determination and testing. The school wouldn’t do anything. So ends the school year.
This year my ds is 7. Although he passed 1st grade, due to his struggles we decided to hold him back. I am glad we did, his problems are worse. His new teacher said she has never seen a child with such a struggle concentrating. She said it was “like he phsyically couldn’t concentrate”. She requested a meeting with the councler withing 3 weeks of working with my son. SHe is saying hte same thing I have heard for the past 3 eyars. My son is very pleasent, happy, popular and well behaved most of the time. He isn’t loud, mean or aggressive. He loves to talk and is great interacting with both adults and chidlren. But, he is struggling with his school work due to his inability to pay attention. He is only aloud 1 crayon or pencil at a time or else he will paly with them and not complete any assignment. Unless he has an adult with him at all times he will complete any of his assignments and may only get the date written on the top of the page. He cannot sit with the other students and has been moved to the other dise of the room by himself. and the wall near desk is blanck because the pictures are too “stimualting” and he day dreams about the pictures instead of the class. His teacher says if you can get him to pay attention he knows more than most the children. She has seen him read books beyond his grade level, but because he wont concetrate when needed he is failing agian. The school said it is too early in the year to test and recommened the same program from last year. I told them htat was crap and didn’t work last year and it wont now. They said I shold “try my son on mediation for 1 month” but I would have to get the rx from my dr.
I think the school is full of sh#@ and I am really angry that it has taken me so long to get no where. My dh and I found a specialist 30 minutes from the house that has ovre 25 years in these problems. She not only checks for add she also checks for ld, social disorders and other perils. SHe charged us $1100 for the testing and we wont know anything for a while. The first visit only was a visit to find out our family history. THe school iginored my back gournd of the ld and the family history of depression and adhd. The new specialist said it is ver important. The next visit was supposed to be an hour and half of testing with breaks though out the session but my son coulcn’t concentrate so We are breaking into 3 sessions instead. We have only been to one so far. After we are done with these test (which all my son oculd tell me so far is that he payed with puzzles) we are doing a Tova Test (sp?) Then we will have a few more councling sessions. WE probably wont know anything until the end of February or later depending on how long ds will take to complete the test.
My question, I don’t mind paying what ever it takes to get my son diagnosed with what ever the problem may be. But isn’t the school supposed to test? They only perfomred one test and kept referring me out to my dr. My dr keeps saying its the schools problem. Now I am paying a ton of money so I can get answers but know why I have to.
I am scared that my son is falling through the cracks because he is not hyper. The councler kept saying because he deosn’t suffer from low self-esteem and deson’t have “bad behavior” he probably doesn’t have a problem. But we are thinking it is ADD not ADHD or maybe some other learning disability. I am so frustrated and scared. Am I doing the right thing by taking him to this specialist? Do these test sound right to you? Any advise would be great.
Re: I am so frustrated, am I making the right decission? (ve
The school is absolutely not supposed to test for ADD. This has been a big controversy because many people feel schools are pressuring parents to medicate children who don’t need it. In fact, there’s a movement on to pass laws so that teachers aren’t even allowed to *suggest* it to parents, since that’s too much like diagnosing it.
ADD is defined as a medical condition, though it’s certainly one that can make it harder (or impossible) for a person to learn; this is different from learning disabilities. But being a “medical condition” — the theory being that meds will bring the brain chemistry back into balance — it’s out of the realm of teachers. Same for diagnoses of depression.
I say this having worked with lots of kids, and feeling like yes, I have a pretty good sense of when a kid’s got ADD, though there are *lots* of other reasons for a person to show *all* the symptoms of ADD. Two big ones are boredom (especially for gifted kiddos) and learning disabilities or processing problems. (There’s a good article in the ‘gifted/ld’ section of LD in Depth about the common factors and the differences in ADHD and giftedness.) There are also food sensitivities - some kids drop the ADHD problems with a controlled diet. (Some need meds *and* a tightly controlled diet, and watch out if the place gets painted or sprayed for bugs.)
Advice? Get the information you’re getting from the testing. THose puzzles were part of the standard battery that can give lots of good information about how your son learns (though some school folks are better than others with that process). It sounds like you have done what the pediatrician ordered and found a specialist in ADHD and LDs. Your pediatrician was the one who was wrong in suggesting to go back to the school for ADD diagnosis (though at one school where I taught, the nurse was very well-versed about it).
the parents are usually the ones who know something is wrong
and districts will NEVER diagnose ADD/ ADHD because if they did they would be responsible for providing the meds…so they stay clear of it. What really upsets me is the family Dr. stringing you along knowing there are problems. He should be getting professional journals where he can read all about ADD & ADHD to keep up with his profession……There is no excuse for a professional passing the buck like this in my book…while your son struggles and falls further and further behind and getting depressed…
My daughter’s pediatrician was the one that told me I think she is ADD, when I brought her in because of her learning problems. I am ADD, and so are my kids, We saw a specialist thanks to our Pediatrician and the specialist confirmed what we had suspected…After she tried meds and she told me…Mom, I can finally concentrate!. My heart broke, she was in 6th grade by this time. Just think of the heartache we could have saved if I had gotten her help sooner, but I just wasn’t ready to face the music about my own ADD. Meds have been an absolute blessing for me and my kids. I don’t think you are doing the wrong thing. If your Dr. had been more open minded he could have did a trial of medication to see if it would help your ds pay attention. The LD specialist should also do some testing with him on meds and off meds to see how he performs besides the TOVA which is a continuous performance test and what I affectionately call the test of BOREDOM. Is he getting the TOVA auditorially and visually? I have taken the TOVA visually and I aced it….According to the TOVA I am not ADD but I am so the TOVA isn’t very accurate either. I am ADHD and ADD-inattentive at the same time….
I would see if you can get a Dr. who will do a trial on meds to see if it helps him in school before you get all the results on the tests…time is of the essence. your ds can’t help it when he checks out, he is in his own little world and he needs help to pull out of it, I have seen this happen with many kids I have worked with. Ask your son where he goes in his mind when he can’t focus. You may be surprised at what he tells you…I sure am when I catch kids zoning… hang in there you are on the road to getting solutions to his problems and headed in the right direction…good luck!
Re: I am so frustrated, am I making the right decission? (ve
Okay,here is my take.
From what I understand ADD/ADHD is a medical diagnosis. The school is not qualified to evaluate for ADD/ADHD,BUT. If as a team you and the school feels there is a possibility of ADD/ADHD and it is effecting their educational progress,then they are required to find someone who is qualified to evaluate this,at their expense. ANYTHING that impedes the educational progress of a child with a disability,is the financial responsiblity of the educational system. This is required under your child’s right to a Free and Appropriate Public Education.NOW for the catch. Your child is not defined as a child with a disability,yet. Therefore there is no team yet.
If they did any kind of evaluation,no matter how inadequate,you have the right to request an Independent Evaluation at District expense.
You will find this section under Procedural safeguards in the IDEA law. NOW for the catch,you generally have to request this before the evaluation is done. Since you have already initiated this evaluation,you most likely would have better luck finding a four leaf clover then ,getting them to pay for this evaluation. More then likely they will want to do a more comprehensive evaluation on your son first. Seems like they haven’t done a real good job with evaluation at this point anyway. If you can,paying for this eval,will be money well spent.
Don’t spend too much time worrying about waiting so long before doing this eval. Your doing it now,and your son is lucky to have a Mom,who will understand what it is like to have a learning disability.
Re: I am so frustrated, am I making the right decission? (ve
I’d switch pediatricians if at all possible. We were lucky that my son’s pediatrician has dyslexia - he was very on top of things when it came to ADD, ADHD, and other LD’s.
Well…you’ve done the right thing in getting this testing process started. It sounds like some of the problems resulted when teachers/counselors weren’t sure whether or not it was a matter of your son’s needing to get settled after having some major transitions occur in his life. That can cloud the issue sometimes.
But it also sounds like the teachers in their own way were crying out for help too without being able to come out and say “we think your son has ADD”. They were putting up the proverbial red flag with their comments to you. But somehow or other, it seems as though they, and the pediatrician, all left it to you to decide what to do with their comments but they didn’t give you any guidance as to how to go about it.
But you’re doing the right thing now. It’s likely that the testing will support a trial of meds to help him concentrate better. Unfortunately you’re stuck in a waiting game now but it’s better than where you were before the testing process began. Be sure you get very clear recommendations from the person doing the testing as to how to proceed with the school staff since you’ve gone “outside the loop” (although sure sounds like there WAS no “loop” in your case) for the testing. Meanwhile, be proud of yourself for getting the ball rolling despite your not getting much advice from any of the professionals about how to go about it.
Re: I am so frustrated, am I making the right decission? (ve
When I took my son to the family doctor in high school with ADD symptoms, he asked me to have questionaires filled out by 2 or 3 teachers and also by a parent. The school never suggested that he was ADD-inattentive, they just considered him lazy or disinterested. But because he was smart, he somehow managed to keep a B average never cracking a book. So he was certainly never referred for anything by the school. When we returned to the doctor with the completed questionnaires, he prescribed a trial of Ritalin. After all that time with undiagnosed ADD, he was also depressed, and it took a long time to sort out what he really needed since some of the symptoms overlap.
As a teacher and a mother, I say “God forbid!” that the schools should EVER become responsible for diagnosing medical problems!!! Goodness, they aren’t doing the greatest job with education! In my opinion, your child’s school did try to tell you that something was wrong multiple times. I think it was the doctor who failed your child. He needed input from the teachers, absolutely. But it is a MD who should be diagnosing a medical problem and prescribing medication for ADD/ADHD based on input from parents and school personnel. In rereading your post, however, I do now see that he basically suggested that you seek advice from a specialist in ADHD since he did not feel comfortable diagnosing it. Maybe the counselor is at fault for blaming it on adjustment issues since the counselor would be neither an expert in special education or medical ADHD issues. I’m not a doctor, but I’d bet my hat your child fits the classic ADHD diagnosis. My child’s doctor was not an ADD specialist either, but it was such an easy thing to TRY medication (after diagnosing probable ADD), and if it works, great! If not, then further testing etc. can be done by a specialist.
All that said, at this point I think you have done the exact right thing to take your child to a specialist who can hopefully correctly diagnose your child’s specific problems so that no more time will be wasted. This person surely is getting input from the teachers and from you in order to get a picture of your child’s functioning at school and at home. (If not, then I’d be wary). Also, your son may not be LD at all. He just may need medication to help him focus and learn.
Janis
Re: I am so frustrated, am I making the right decission? (ve
just a note. a woman i know had a similar problem.
she saw a problem the dist didn’t. so she had her tested privately . they foundlearning disorders.she bthen went to the dist superintendent with the results they legally had to refund her $. mind you each state is different.they were legitiment learning problems but i just wanted to say that if anything if they do find a problem it’s worth trying.
good luck af.
I have been where you are my sons school finally tested him last year.He is bright but could not read or write.He was 8 1/2 till they finally tested him for anything but speech(which he has been in sine 4 years old) His teacher along with me demanded it last year.He was found to have a IQ above 150 .They agreed to tewsting since I had a appointment with a psychatrist and they knew he would tell me the school has to test him.The school cant test for ADHD but screen for it.My sons dr. was like yours tell the school to test but he did referre him to the psychartrist for ADHD and other testring.I did not send him to K till he was 6 so the school never suggested to hold him back because of his age.he now is finally getting the one on one help he needs.The school has to test your son if you request it.ASK for thte testing in writing and by certified mail they have to test and make sure the do a complete evaluation not just screening like some sd like to do to save money.I to am dyslexic and my hubby is ADHD and his mother is Bipolar so I let the school know this and they now are on their toes.What state atre you in ? Get a copy oF IDEA and read up on all thelaws they have changed since I wenmt to school and for the better they dont just throw these kids in a basement closet and expect them tomlearn .