I’m new here and it’s time for me to seek some help from people who may or are already going through this. My son, who’s 10 with ADD, has been suspended once again because of his behaviour toward another student. We totally disagree with the school’s decision of the suspension as it was the other child who continued to provoke my son until he could take it no more. My son retaliated and as a result both children were suspended.
I’m finding that the school is not taking into consideration his ADD, which I feel is a contributor to the way he’s behaving. (He is impulsive.) Suspensions seem to be the way they handle children like my son. Am I viewing this objectively and/or does this happen elsewhere?
Re: School Problem - Suspension
I’ve been teaching 20+years and I’ve never encountered a suspension that a parent didn’t protest and that includes me who kicked and screamed when my own got suspended. Suspensions from school are something that bothers parents tremendously and that we always feel is unjust.
And sometimes they are. In this case, though, they did suspend the other child for provoking your son which makes me think they were trying to be fair. It’s also true that as a rule the child who hits is in the wrong. We are not supposed to respond with hitting. My school would have done the same thing but to your school’s credit, my school might not have suspended the child who provoked your son.
When a child responds physically, even if provoked, it does not matter that they are ADD/ADHD or anything else. The message from schools these days is supposed to be - no physical response.
That’s the message they’re trying to send your son - even if he, like mine, has ADD.
Here's a suggestion, though
http://comnet.org/local/orgs/sac/qgprotec.htm
Go to that site and see what it says. It’s a GREAT site about the rights of LD kids in regard to suspensions in school. It has great information for you. Unless they followed certain steps in suspending him, it might well be that his rights were violated.
It’s worth checking out.
Thanks
Thanks for your comments and suggestions. It has helped me see things differently even though one doesn’t want to admit there is another side to these things.
I can understand your frustration. But ADD or not, a child has to learn how to control his behavior. How can you help your child to learn how to handle kids who provoke? Can he ask a teacher to intervene and stop the provocation? Can he learn to walk away? ADD makes life much more difficult for kids, that is true, but we must learn not to use it as an excuse. We must learn ways to overcome problem ADD behavior, be it short attention span, disorganization, impulsive behavior, temper outbursts and the like.