Help~

Jordan’s Mom,

I am stunned and flabbergasted that the teacher would ever put voice to those things! Obviously she and your child are not a good fit. It is probably too close to the end of the school year to change teachers, and change is hard for our ADHD kids, but it is a thought.

You definitely need to advocate for your son. There are a few really great places to start:
wrightslaw.com - a website by a very committed special ed attorney
reedmartin.com - another attorney, but I don’t spend as much time there
COSEP in Yahoo groups - Coalition of Special Education Parents

To get a good immediate start, post on COSEP, and in the Wrightslaw Discussion Group (go to the site, then “communities,” then “discussion group”). There are many people in both places who are more familiar with the IDEA than I, and they can point you in the right direction to help you start to get services for your son.

Good luck!
Lil

Meet with the teacher and the principal together. Bring someone with you. See if you can agree with them as to what the problem is. After the problem is defined ask the school what they suggest, after all they are the experts. Nail the teacher for her accusations and do it in front of the principal. Stay cool, but ask the teacher to explain her comment regarding your parenting skills. Be open to the possibility that parenting could be a factor. Kids don’t come with instructions. Some kids are easy. Also I think ADHD ADD are over diagnosed. It is a subjective judgement call so be a little skeptical. I know an 8 year old boy who after his disfunctional alcoholic paid the right doctors got a diagnosis of ADD and 59 IQ His mother’s verbal diahrea woud give anyone ADD. It’s a defense mechanism for the kid. His mother is a raging bitch drama queen. She sucks as a parent. The kid behaves well for men and has good concentration. He reads fairly well. He expresses himself well. He has a very good memory. His IQ is much higher than 59. Lucklily the school he goes to is great. They treat him kindly. The don’t ridcule. They don’t make mountians out of mole hills. You may wanna suggest your son’s teacher increase her daily dose of Midol. Your boy sounds spirited. Boy’s are unfairly singled out for being disruptive when the fact remains they aren’t any worse than girls. It’s been proven there is a bias against boys in the classroom. He may behave better for a male teacher. His teacher sounds like a bitch and he may be reacting to it.

Jordan’s Mom,

I do think that your son’s teacher is way out of line and is part of the problem. Another part may be that, after 3 years, your son’s meds need adjusting, or possibly to be changed. Also, have you explored counseling for Jordan? Behavior modification, in conjunction with medication, has been shown to be the most effective means of helping children with ADHD. In addition, some kids with ADHD also have learning disabilities. Has he been tested for that? If not, it might make sense to do so. If you request the testing, the school must provide it. In any event, a diagnosis of ADHD would qualify Jordan as “other health impaired,” which would make him eligible for a 504 plan. Accomodations can make a big difference for a frustrated kid, and your son sounds extremely frustrated to me. My own child experienced similar difficulties and counseling, and the right school environment, made a HUGE difference for him. I hope this helps.

Andrea

Earlier in the year she and I discussed the possibility of a personality conflict, but I told her I wanted him to begin to get used to having to work those out. He will be in middle school soon, and in this small school you don’t have a choice of teachers when it comes to middle school. Every child rotates to every teacher for one subject or another and so he will have to learn to deal with people he doesn’t get along with. I believe he has challenged her in ways that she has never been challenged and she sometimes takes that out on him. Thank you so much for your reply and the great suggestions and help re: those websites and places to look.

I think that is a great idea, as far as having the teacher and principal together to meet re: Jordan. I tried to do that right away, but he was not in and won’t be back until next week. I am very aware, not only open to the fact that some of his issues are with parenting. My ex-husband and I are divorced and with other people now, he goes back and forth and that in itself is difficult, but he lives with me and my wonderful guy!! ;-) He is very helpful when it comes to Jordan and a huge blessing! Thankfully he is a bright boy, he just doesn’t have the ability to stay focused, even with all the meds and their adjustments, though it has gotten MUCH better, and is easily distracted. He is like a train, once of the track, watchout!! Thanks for your advice I really appreciate it!!

Yes, we have been tweaking his meds since he got on them, but have found a nice medium where he currently is… just reached this a few months ago. He is also in counseling. He has been tested at different times to see if he needed extra help, Title I or resource room, but never seemed to need it, although he does much better one on one, as do all children, really. I thank you so much for your caring , it was great to come back here today and see responses! Thanks!!

I am will’s mom, and he is ADHD to the max. I have dealt with the schools for a looooonnnnggggg time. I finally had Will take the GED and get out. He is now in college and finally has a few friends and is making good grades because I let him choose what he wanted to learn about. I am a special needs teacher and I think that you need to stand up for your rights with the school. I just got through readin/rereading a little book called Attention Deficit disorder by David and Myra Sosin. It is put out by Teacher Created Materials, Inc. You can find it most easily in teacher supply stores. One of the statements made in the book is that the child had best like the teacher or the child will not like school - more than regular kids.(I finally found the senetence - “Another problem that affects students. but especially those with ADD, has to do with the affective component of learning, which refers to the feelings a particular teacher elicits in his or her students. In simple terms, if the student like and respects the teacher, it is much easier for that youngster to stay tuend in and to put forth effort to learn. On the other hand, if the youngster feels that the teacher is mean, lacking in understanding and compassion, or rushes ahead too fast, then that youngster will have a great deal of difficulty learning.) My children would just quit because they couldn’t see any other way to take care of the problem. ADD kids really feel a lot more than necessarily think aabout these types of things. If I were you , and if I weren’t working, I would tell the school goodbye. They have suspended him for a long time, and they are in to punishing, not helping, so I would say goodbye. Whatever you teach him will be more than he would learn at school. Good luck.

Whether you agreed or not agreed to a 504 plan he is still formally diagnosed as ADHD,which makes him qualified under 504 to NOT be discriminated against.
I would read this law,you would be surprised.

Next if he is doing well grade wise or academicly then a good 504 plan might be the thing he needs most. I personally would request an evaluation. Mainly a Functional Behavior assessment. This is when a behavioral specialist comes into the class and observes him and his relationship with the teacher. They can give suggestions on how to accomodate your son in class. The biggest thing I hear you say here is the educators need educating. More often then not,when a “specialist” comes into the picture this helps,because they are the “specialist” in the educators mind,they listen to their suggestions.

Now placing him in seclusion,blaming for the ills of the whole class, IS discrimination. You can demand a meeting,you can demand the teacher provide accomodations, you can even demand that they develop a positive behavior plan BEFORE suspending him again.

I have a webpage with a whole section on 504 you might want to check it out.
http://expage.com/socksandfriends

I agree with you. My 8th grade son does better if he likes the teacher. He will even come home and tell me funny stories about them and what he learned. He has a social studies teacher who he says is very entertaining, he gets A’s and B’s in her class. He has a Lit teacher he says who cares about nothing and goes so fast it makes your head spin, he is barely passing this class. He demonstrates he can learn by doing well in Social Studies but looks “lazy” in his lit class because he just don’t get it and has no motivation to. On achievement testing he scored above average in social studies and well below average in Lit. Wonder if there is any coorilation here?

It would be great if you could wave a magic wand and make Jordan’s LD go away. I think there is a lot of unscientific hocus pocus regarding LD ADD ADHD ect… Please try a nutritional/enviromental approach to curing him as opposed to managing the symptoms. This may piss offa lot of people but I believe medical science in many ways is a farce.Monitor his diet and start feeding him unprocessed food. Fish oils are good for a lot of things particularly brain function. ADD has been on the rise for years. I can’t believe that many kids are defective. Brain chemistry is complex as are the processes in the brain but unfotrtunately the word brain rarely gets mentioned in the context of juvenile behavioral issues. Something is slightly out of wack so fixxing the problem is a better answer than masking it with meds. Has Jordan ever been tested for food allergies? A diet change whether it helps the problem or not wiil still pay dividends down the road. Give it a try but be patient. There may be other options than meds. Check it out.

You can certainly still do an IEP. However, it doesn’t sound as if his medication is helping as much as it might. Does his doctor know he still has many conflicts with school? Either they are jumping on very small things or his medication is not helping him get on top of his ADHD at school.

Certainly school poses great challenges to the ADHD child. Have you ever considered going in and quietly observing your son’s classroom? That is your right and you might see some areas where the school could make changes for him and see more exactly when the conflicts with teachers break out and over what.

Power struggles are sadly often a part of the school experience. In the ideal world, they wouldn’t be but it may not be possible to write an IEP that mandates that teachers not get into power struggles.

I’d also suggest figuring out which of next year’s possible teachers might be best for him and requesting that teacher. Some teachers more than others are likely to get into power struggles and you might be able to find one who doesn’t use that approach.

Good luck.

It’s great to see parents standing up for their kids. Take no guano from your school. Your efforts will pay dividends down the road for students that come after them. Maybe when your kids become adults your efforts at the K-12 level will find their way to the college setting and the dreadful state voc rehab agencies.I salute you all.