School Response to Complaint

First make ready your list of complaints and solutions offered to the teachers. Be prepared to stick with your agenda, which is the inappropriateness of the teacher’s remarks.
Second Don’t go by yourself.
There is more I am probably forgetting but maybe Socks has some insight/knowledge? Those are just the first two things I thought of when I read your post.
Also don’t sign anything you don’t agree with and read everything. I am guessing your son isn’t served by the ED teacher but that might be what they want to suggest.
If they do talk about this, ask for a functional behavior assessment.
Best wishes.

Beth:

I agree with Amyf, don’t go alone to this meeting. I have a good friend (from church) who is a Special Ed teacher in another school district. She has been a wonderful resource for me in dealing with my daughter’s school. She has offered to go with me to talk with the Guidance Dept., at our h.s. If you don’t have someone like this, take a friend to take notes of everything that is said, or better yet, take a tape recorder and place it on the table in full view of all parties. They will mostly certainly follow the letter of the law if they know their words are being taped as a matter of permanent record.

Good Luck

I am a teacher who has been through many of these meetings with parents. I also have an ADHD daughter. Do not assume that your complaint about the teacher prompted the meeting. By state law, these plans must be reviewed periodically, with a great number of “teachers and educational personel present.” Second, don’t assume that the teacher is a problem teacher. She may not work effectively with special needs kids, but keep in mind that teacher NEVER get any training for dealing with special needs children. Teachers are often not even aware of the students’ specific needs.
If you take someone to the meeting, you are setting up a battlefield. That will not accomplish your goal - helping your child. I suggest taking to the meeting some specific helpful hints about how you help your child cope - after all, you have had years to test what works with your child. Maybe your child needs to leave his seat more frequently to help him sit and keep on task longer. Maybe a bargain with teachers about rewarding this student with a walk to the water fountain after a half hour ( or whatever) would establish rapport and enhance your child’s work. Ask the teachers for suggestions about how you can help the teacher more effectively deal with your child.
I do not want to say that the comments by this teacher may not have been inappropriate, but have you ever blown up at your child out of frustration when he/she is acting up? Give the teacher the same benefit of the doubt. Express your concern about the comments. Discuss how they have affected your child, and ask the teacher to talk with your child and discuss the situation so that rapport can be reestablished.
As a parent of an ADHD child, I can relate to your frustration with the school system; as a teacher, I can understand the frustration teachers face with more students than they can adequately individually attend to their needs. From experience, I can say that your attitude about this meeting will do more as far as setting the tone and getting your child the help they need than anything else you might do. Go into the conference with the attitude that you have a glorious opportunity to relate your child’s needs to a lot of educators at once. You have the chance at the meeting to work with the school for your child’s benefit. I often tell my ADHD daughter that attitude and understanding are the keys to building better functioning relationships.
I know this is long; I hope it helps.
Shalynn

From my experiences with complaints about a teacher and/or teachers behavior, that is something that would not be discussed in that forum. You are probably a lot like I am and get yourself all worked up right before a meeting. It is really hard for a parent to totally understand where the school staff are coming from and usually it ends up not being such a big deal to work out. I disagree with the teacher who just posted the comment about not taking someone with you. You are not setting up a battle field if you have the right intentions which I am sure you do. Besides, most of the time we the parents are out numbered anyway. It is very helpful to have an extra set of hands, eyes and ears in any situation. I would definately take someone to take notes if nothing else. Having to takes notes by yourself, listen, make sure you didnt miss anything, and its very hard to take notes if its your turn to talk. Sometimes we feel intimidated, sometimes we are just so close to the situation and overwhelmed that having a family member/friend there just to be there is very comforting. My experience with a complaint about a teacher was a verbal complaint and I was told that it could not be mentioned in the SST meeting which was occurring the next day. I felt like it was an important issue to bring up especially since we were going to be talking about my childs behavior, it might have been very fitting to mention. The last thing a parent wants to do is go complain on a teacher about inappropriate behavior. But we are the parents and it is up to us to make sure that our kids are free from harrassment and humiliation while at school. Good luck!

One reason I mentioned taking along another person is that for me personally I am very shy and a conflict avoider, my husband comes with me, even if he doesn’t say a lot, he gives me the confidence to say what I need to. He is also my second eyes and ears as I am add/in and miss things or can’t remember exactly what someone might have said. I don’t mean go in with claws stretched to the max.
Also as far as the annual meetings, I believe that most of us parents are aware when those meetings are due and this one sounds like a spur of the moment meeting, called to address the comments/complaints.
As an adult, it is never ok to talk about a kid and make comments in front of that kid’s peers. I would never talk about my kid’s school problems or night time problems in front of his peers especially not in front of my kid.

So… go in but do not address the 504 plan or ‘discuss strategies for the future’ until they respond to your complaint. Always stay pleasant and positive and thank them for their interest in finetuning Justin’s 504 plan.

“But the first reason we are here is to continue to resolution our concerns regarding the treatment of Justin by Miss Smith.

Keep coming back to that center no matter who else says what.

If you want to pull out the big guns at some point say with concern, “Discussing a student’s behavior with another teacher in front of a class of students is a violation of the federal Family Rights and Privacy Act, we believe. I know all of us here would want to insure that Justin’s rights under the law are respected.”

(It may not be but that kind of statement always gives them pause)

Decide in advance with your husband and Justin what you want from them. Do you want an apology? Do you simply want someone to say it shouldn’t have happened? It’s important to know what you want and what you’ll settle for before you go in that meeting.

Good luck.

You’ve gotten good advice already — let me echo that indeed, the meeting may have absolutely *nothing* to do with the incident with the teacher. It’s getting on to the end of the year. I generally called a meeting with all my parents at the end of each year to look at the IEP/504 and talk about next year.

I’d bring a buddy on general principle - just as extra eyes and ears (well, in my case, to kick me under the table if I look like I’m about to say something stupid ;)). I might even call the principle and ask if there’s a connection so I could sleep better — open amiable communication can go a *long* way and I look for every chance I can to do it.